good parents, they all have one thing in common, i myself am grateful to god that i once had this experience of silence with teenagers, that ’s a different story, yeah, what all these parents have in common is that at some point they can just to shut up and listen enough for such a long period of time, this is what you say, when they complain to you about parents to children, what do you say, i say what my father told me, he says what you understand, if suddenly something happens somewhere -you... liked it, i didn’t do it specifically, this is very important to convey to a teenager that there is conscious evil, when it causes you conscious pain, and it happens when a parent, he thinks that he is doing the right thing, although at the same time causing you pain, but he does not want this at all, and this is a very important difference, because there are true tyrants, but there are parents who are sincerely mistaken, it is very important for the child to understand that it’s like, that they are not your enemies, here is larisa mikhailovna, about special knowledge, as they say, i'm really not in

when i was a teenager, when i was still a child, i tried to master a certain body of specialized literature, some holy names, which means i learned the right psychologists, i had such a remarkable case, i’ll tell you about it, and you tell me what i did wrong, that means, in some smart book, there is something gipenreiter, something so serious, as they explained to me, they said that this is a standard situation, go eat, that means lunch, go eat, and 20 times, i say: here don’t do this, you have to come up and say, lunch is served, go eat and stand, wait until the child, i think, well , everything is clear, it’s cool that the method, so to speak, is from the world of science, everything is clear to me, 2 + 2, i’m coming, lizonka, let’s go to lunch, she says, now now , and that means i’m standing, according to the book, i’m standing for 10 minutes, well, i’ve already decided the experiment to the end, i’m standing for 20 minutes, at the twenty-fifth minute i thought that she probably won’t go after all, it’s time to open the old testament, if if. after all, to summarize the

books that i read, i will now specifically focus on them, they explained a lot to me about themselves, they didn’t help me in any way in my relationship with my children, what am i doing wrong? well, when you came up to the little girl, you sat down next to her, looked into her eyes, took her by the hand, no, i stood like that, it’s the same as flies flying past, you never know what you’re standing there, yes, the teenager sincerely lives at this moment in another world, and he doesn’t even have to have a computer for this, well, remember us, right? captivated by some books or some thoughts of their own, some wrote diaries, others wrote something else, that is, here the computer is not the goal, not some kind of evil global, they really live like this, they have a very well developed creative imagination, they think about something of their own, this method is about it: come, look into the eyes, take your hand, fix it, ah, i exist, i’m here, yes, then it certainly works, of course, books are written for parents about parents, there is nothing about teenagers, because each teenager is purely individual. there are no instructions, and

neither does the parent, but the parent has lived his life path by this point, when we compare the average for the hospital adolescence there in the eighties, nineties, well, we will all have something in common, we will at least there the music plus or minus will be the same, there will be something to generalize us, so these books are still about us for us, each specific child is still a mystery, what mistakes we have already made or failed to make, what he is thinking about, what he is worried about, therefore. there is nothing better than the simplest things that do not need to be read in books, this is firstly, as we have already found out, sometimes sitting in silence, this is clear talk about your feelings, demonstrate them, yes, without overacting, this is a problem, unfortunately for many mothers, and so dump it on your children exaggeratedly, this is not necessary, but if, as father pavel gave an example, you are divorcing your husband, well, sit down with tell the child in human terms, yes, this happens, people have separated, something has happened, share your feelings with them, because children have one problem, a very big one, not about...

they probably said sincerely in consultations, it’s my fault, you know, i think covid happened because i was there, this, this, this, and the first time i sat, my hair was moving like this, because i seem to understand everything about teenagers, not so much, but they are so self-centered, why is this self-centeredness, an egoist, as a rule, does not blame himself, he blames everyone else except yourself, but not, but here this is not selfishness in its purest form, it is precisely the feeling that you are the root of all problems, because you are the center of the universe, the other then - what is called

a question aside, i am like a prepot that i i notice, well, they just come to me already after all, there are over 18 years old, yes, but what i see is the maximum requirements for others, demands, yes, you... you haven’t checked our tests yet, passing a test or spending 40 minutes catching up to a lecture is normal, yes , that is, i just see this infantilism and egocentrism, which manifests itself in the minimum requirements for oneself, so for me it is partly unexpected that infantilism is to a greater extent, this is exactly what i am talking about, unfortunately now in general , the last two generations, so roughly speaking, they are very infantile on all fronts, psychologists also notice this, but what you are talking about, they are really older, they have passed. after all, your sample is different, they at least passed the unified state exam or based on some scores they ended up here as students, that is, this is still some kind of elite sample, we cannot consider it absolute, but for everything generation of teenagers, and 18 years of objectivity for the sake of a psychologist is no longer a teenager, after all, adolescence should

end at 17 years old, but what you call it it’s absolutely clear, it comes to them out of our great love, we love them so much, because we once lacked in our childhood, and... we lacked both emotionally and financially, that we have everything for them we throw you out, here we are, here we are, we will love you somewhere, and here we couldn’t love you, here we will give you a gift, and any of your desires is instantly fulfilled, we taught them this, then they came to some uncle who says: well, i didn’t fulfill your wish, i didn’t check the test on time, everything else is where they were taught nowhere, who where, we demand this from them, that everything must be fair with us, we must have us for you, you for us, you have rights, but there are responsibilities. last time, from next time i’ll be the last one to enter the classroom, you can knock, complain, write

letters, that means for human rights reasons, i’ll be the last one to come in, i’m not asking you to come earlier, but you have until class 9, at 9:05 i came in, i’m not late for me, this is very correct, because you... immediately voice the rules of the game, unfortunately, it rarely works out with parents in families, because you know how to in childhood they say, two with a snitch, two with a sniffle, two with something else, yes, that is, i will definitely apply these sanctions, well , maybe not so precisely, but maybe not now, but maybe this is also a deception, we tell them all the time that there are rules, but we break the rules ourselves, they are simply not accustomed to this. film, television from the inside, premiere, tomorrow

on the first, priest pavel ostrovsky, psychologist larisa surkova, gathered their thoughts about the world of teenagers, we continue, this feeling of injustice, it is now has grown a lot, because firstly, they read about it a lot on the internet, when parents talk, all the adults talk, all the young guys, all the teenagers are on their phones, but in general everyone is on their phones, so they are their parents they say you sit at the computer a lot, stop sitting on the tablet, but the parents themselves or in front of the tv, my wife and i talk about this all the time, what i say, well, that’s how it is, if they see us with all the time injustice, this is injustice. what to do, it’s very simple to answer the question, how did it just happen, yes, that is, you need to set a personal example, at least not demand, we, well , we have a law, if we have lunch, well, we have dinner there, but there cannot be telephones at the table, my wife and i decided that we at least everything will be fair, maybe we somehow relaxed the children there, but we don’t demand from

the children what we don’t do ourselves, because i remember, i had it right there, i ’ll probably say more at larisa’s , what a heightened sense of justice, for me it was very heightened in some way. period time, and if you give another reason, then this is really, this is all, everything can collapse, and the church will collapse, i remember one teenager told me a wonderful phrase: i don’t believe in relation to the church, then i’ll think that there is no god believes, says, no, i don’t believe that that priest believes in god, yeah, and it struck me, this is such a phrase, i don’t believe that he believes in god, he was disappointed from this church, by the way, in general i have another question for you, let’s say, if a teenager comes to church, but on his own, he doesn’t have... experience, let’s say, of some kind of conscious church life, so it will be easier for him to enter church life together with his peers, so something needs to be done there, at the church you have a lot of activity, or whatever contact with the priest is more important to him and he can easily do without this

get-together, it depends on the person, these are just two two different such, well, such large groups, well , they are a little larger, but the main two, these are the ones that are very important so that such sociable, it’s important to them that something was nearby, that’s it there are those who, on the contrary, are very tactile, they are just such introverts, they will stand alone and the like, but what exactly unites them all is that when they already start going to worship, they carefully look at how others believe, and i'm very good at it. i mean, teenagers or it doesn’t matter, a priest, how the choir sings, how adults stand, i remember very well, this is the impression i have, this was one of the main disappointments for me when i suddenly suddenly realized that i had always been taught what to overshadow the sign of the cross is very it’s important, suddenly i saw people crossing themselves like that, and what are the machines in front of my face, and i was born then, i remember somewhere around 15 , this phrase was born that, like , drove away a mosquito, pecked a grain like a dove , and i was just so disgusted by it, i’m so grateful to gostinyaev, we have a wonderful preacher, he said, there is this concept of external cult, it’s very important that in the church, i

tell the parishioners, a lot young guys are coming, it's important that you pay close attention were baptized, so that you carefully read the texts there and so on, this is for them, well , it kind of shows that this is seriousness, in general it’s good that you still believed in god, but regarding faith in god, please tell me, that’s when in what situations, for example, when communicating with a teenager, you say, you know, it would be nice for you to talk to a specialist and... a nice gymnasium, when he was 13, it was his choice, he had a choice of two schools ,

when we moved, finding ourselves in the gymnasium, he said, we are staying here, although we are definitely from this was not expected for him, the gymnasium simply turned him over, the people who teach him turned him over, just recently he went of his own free will, although he insisted that i was an atheist, thanks to father dianis lobov, who never refuted this, he said, okay , an atheist, so an atheist, he said at baptism , at confession, at communion himself, when i asked him why, he said: i say, well, i have journalists, pr people, yes, about authorities, i’m here with the freshmen we are discussing various situations and remember this story with the unfortunate cat, yes, well then with this wave against the conductor we say that, after all, there is something to talk about, i won’t do it now, i don’t want to stir things up, but thank god it has calmed down, but i’m giving it specifically. task, i say, guys, you all have a position, tell me which public person is so

authoritative for you that he can change your position, yeah, nine people group, we start discussing 15 minutes, 20, no, the next day i speak to 200 moscow schoolchildren from different schools, this was just a few days ago, this is also an example for them i bring it, the president is there, well, it’s great, yes, there is, but i can’t find anyone. i actually have a question, we have authorities, let’s not talk about adults, but for teenagers, well , as i understand it, there are no universal ones, because when one of the guys said blogger so-and-so, everyone else turned and said who this, no, well, no, in fact, a child’s authority can only be formed through action, when he sees the results of his deeds, his activities in general, there are no ready ones. about about public ones, listen about those same ones, on our this is all marketing, all advertising was built on this, marketing and advertising are done

by adults who very rarely turn to psychologists in order to get an adequate assessment and sampling in general, sorry, too simple an explanation, we have really changed fundamentally, marketing advertising all the classic ones collapsed, because that’s all, it doesn’t work, i observe that my daughter, the eldest, has some kind of strange immunity to the internet, she stopped believing the internet. one step away from generalizations, yes, as we were taught in academic environment, but it’s still neat to say that there is definitely a huge gap between fame and authority, and that’s why i’m sometimes not amazed. logical surveys, where it is obvious that they ask about authority, and people answer about fame, yes, unfortunately, time

is pressing on us, here’s something else i want to ask you, what i see, there is a problem of fathers and children, yes, it is associated with different cultural values, background knowledge, partly due to the fact that our sets of values, knowledge and other things, they naturally they don’t coincide, i have this, it’s not even a feeling, it’s the result of some analysis, observation, teaching, yes, that our problem... is precisely due to the fact that everything is changing quickly, therefore, it seems to me that cultural ties are there is, it’s just that between me and my daughter there are already two more cultural layers that she doesn’t know and maybe i don’t even know, so somehow getting involved in the music that she listens to, well, that’s true , there are connections there, but they just need to be directly involved, but it’s surprising, there’s another

problem here, you can’t find the algorithm, because suddenly sometimes some name that you’re sure... that they, well, they can’t know, it turns out that they know, they love it, and they can to teach us, like my son keeps demanding that i read three dialogues by vladimir sergeevich solovyov, so he demands from me, but i still won’t get around to it, yes, that’s why it’s like teenagers surprise here, they’re wonderful, they surprise, just try to find out what it is like in this teenage generation, maybe compared to the one i don’t know what happened to us before, when we were teenagers, maybe just without comparison. what makes you most happy and what causes you the greatest anxiety? let's get started, yes, i actually have the answer ready, the most amazing thing about these children is that they endlessly want to learn a lot, and are ready to absorb this information in absolutely huge quantities, this makes me very happy when you talk with teenagers, with any teenagers, for sure

you learn something new and it's always surprising because i usually shut up, especially. when i have a conversation with a large number of teenagers, somewhere in schools, they so want to share, this is a lot of information, wonderful, wonderful, and the saddest thing is that they are scared, they are really afraid, this is what we started with, what is completely that’s right, yes, father pavel said, fear and pain, if you think about it, when children have fear and pain, it’s already terribly painful, they are really afraid for their lives, for their future, for their parents, for their country, our children are afraid. i’ll clarify, very briefly, because my experience is a little different, maybe i’m not quite like you i understand, i just see the problem is that they don’t want to know anything, just imagine, i recently gave a speech to these guys, i told 200 guys there, this is a media class, and i tried for half an hour to convey to them the idea that if you if you want to become a journalist, then curiosity must be ingrained in you, as i

tell my students all the time, you can’t help but have questions, a journalist can’t help but have questions, yes, here i jump in front of these, in front of the student, they come. these nine people, i’ll jump there and they’ll like, well, well, it’s funny, it’s funny what else he will portray to us, but this is how it fits together, well , it just seems to me that this is not there, that they are already tired of everything by the time they are 18, they don’t want to know anything anymore , well, about 18, but again, i won’t get into this, because from my point of view, well, we’re talking about teenagers, teenagers are a little earlier, children want to know a lot of things, but parents are often uninterested and incomprehensible, there’s also the question of what we we put curiosity into the word, because we want maybe... for them to learn something about physics, chemistry, the tretyakov galley, they want to find out something in a completely different area, and here we will not find the correct answer, without knowing what they live, you will generally find out what the stomach is, as they say in one popular program, but what do you tell us, sir? i think that despite a lot of pain, which exists, especially

related to the number of divorces and so on, they are incredibly bright, it’s simply amazing, i don’t know how it was in the last generation, i can’t feel like this. i see their countries are incredibly bright, incredibly brave and really want a lot of things. to achieve, it’s simply amazing, and what frightens me most, it’s because of them that frightens me the most, it’s the unknown, the world is changing so quickly, i don’t have time to analyze myself anymore, so i want to help them, and everything is very good for them too is changing rapidly, now this era quickly appears there and the art of intelligence, this is virtual reality, a world that is not clear how it is going, what will happen... yes, this is the unknown, but as if i ’m no longer worried about myself, maybe that’s why that he lived a little, and for them there are these experiences, and it seems to me that they feel this unknown, rapidly changing, it scares them too. thank you very much, larisa surkova, psychologist, priest pavel ostrovsky, i’m vladimir ligoida, we were gathering thoughts about teenagers, their fears and hopes.

hello, my name is dmitry bak, this is the next episode of the literary podcast “let them not talk, let them read.” today we will talk about the wonderful russian prose writer, one of the greatest russian prose writers, poets, and playwrights, critics, and professors of the 20th century. at a pace, at a rapid pace, here i have in my hands a collection of works that was published by

the year, and the development of nabokov has been going on very large for the century of nabokov and so far it is, in general , the most complete in its composition, although books continue to arrive, the author of the preface is alexander alekseevich dalinin, one of the major researchers, and today we are talking about nabokov with wonderful guests, this is the head of the nabokov... center of the institute of russian literature of the russian academy of sciences, pushkin house, tatyana olegovna panomareva. hello, tatyana olegovna, i’m very glad to see you today, and journalist, literary critic, researcher of nabokov’s work, igor dimyanovich kirienkov. hello, igor dimyanovich, if you allow me, i will simply call you igor. i think it would be appropriate, and let's start with this quick survey, here for you now. what is the most important thing about nabokov in his life, in his behavior, in his reputation in his works, in tatyana’s intonation? well, if we talk about the writer nabokov, then of course he is

the creator of a new language of russian literature, after nabokov, everyone began to write a little differently, because it’s already difficult to write like before after nabokov, so this seems to me the most important thing as a writer, and if you tell the person and also of course, then this is... he lived in a very difficult time , the most important thing is how he managed to overcome all those challenges, yes, that time threw at him, this historical time, it’s important, language and overcoming time, igor, and for you, and for me, i really appreciate nabokov’s absolute independence judgments, his freedom from strangers canons, the willingness to create one’s own, when he lived in europe, when he left for america, when he returned to europe, he was always on his own wavelength with his... set of favorite authors, ideas about what literature should be and what it should not be, the second the thing is probably his frantic hard work, because when you read his biography, especially

the second volume of boyd, when he had already become the most famous author in the world, boyd’s biographer nabokola, just in case, let’s explain, but you understand at what a crazy pace he worked, he could financially afford to do nothing else, enjoy life, well, from a certain moment, not immediately, at the same time, every year he published a new book, an original translation. poems, plays, prose, and this is very inspiring, of course. let's start, of course, with childhood, yes, tatyana olegovna, here is nabokov's childhood, his origins, this is already the 20th century or even the nineteenth, here is the childhood and adolescence of the youth of tolstoy, nikolinka ertenyev, what is a young man, komel fo, how should he sit, yes, so that the shoulders touch the back, but the middle of the back no, on sideways, that’s what kind of person he is. in childhood and adolescence, it was , of course, the most interesting and probably the most changing, rapidly changing time in general, look how wonderful it is, this is the

nabokov family, the nabokov family, yes, all five children, and of course nabokov was formed in russia, of course , although he lived here only 18 years, very little, yes, but these were still those years when a personality is formed, and since he also began writing quite early and even managed to publish, as we know, two two collections verse. he became, if he stayed to live in russia, he would, but of course he was created by his time, his family, as we know, but still this is the 19th century, his two closest ancestors, his father and grandfather, are statesmen, yes, but they, yes, but still his father was a man of a different time, because yeah. just at the turn of the century, his father, who, of course, had access to a brilliant career in the government, because he could easily, probably, follow in the footsteps of his father, he was an excellent student in everything, both ministers, in fact

speaking, and vladimirovich, of course, could have become a minister and, in general, because he succeeded in everything, let’s say right away how he died, but suddenly it won’t be necessary anymore, he died , he died, he died during an attack, an assassination attempt on the life of pavel nikolaevich melyukov, who was not injured, a comrade, under a chair, as many did at that moment, and he rushed to save melyakov, he rushed to stop the killers, died on the spot, and he saved melyakov, saved melyukova, well, in general, how said napoleon, who drove up to balkonsky and thought that he had died. here a beautiful death, really very unusual, but in general leaving for the side and on the side can be called emigration in the full sense of the word, or not quite, it’s like

leaving to study. it was a full-fledged migration, his family, his family was threatened with physical destruction, like representatives of the establishment of the previous government, leaving crimea, the nabokovs first ended up in athens, and then moved to great britain. yeah, but tell me, many times nabokov repeats and his interlocutors repeat that he allegedly told someone that he spoke english almost earlier than in russian, that’s what kind of identity this person has, he had a wonderful trilingual childhood, russian.

completely in english, well, brodsky wrote in english, of course, many, but still not to the same extent as on the side, well, while he lived in europe, and wrote only in russian, of course, he was known only among russians diaspora, yeah, no one behind berlin newspaper rudder, rudder, then yes, then modern notes, paris, all the best magazines, everyone published him, of course, he was recognized as one of the best writers, like then they said that the key thing was recognized, we will return to it, the younger generation, because

of course, if bunin was. the main older generation, then nabokov gradually became the number one writer of the younger generation, but after the forced relocation of the flight from europe at the beginning of the war, the second world war, he gradually switched to english, but by the way, he remained perceived as russian or not, no, when he began to write in english, by the way, he never stopped writing in russian, but of course not, like american the writer, of course, naturally, of course, is already american, too, it seems that he is fast enough.

the writer wants to resolve the idea, like gogol, he wants to change russia, and so on, isn’t there some flawed moment here from the point of view of the canonical image of the russian writer, who is about ethics and morality, and not about style. it seems to me that back in the berlin years, his critics were the first to write that this was somehow too alien to our traditions, we don’t say that, we say that there were such opinions too, we

we don’t belittle it in any way. it seems to me that just if you read the correspondence of bunin’s generation, there with zayets, with shmilyov, he is a complete stranger to them, for the hares and shmilyov he is definitely a stranger, yes, for them, yes, i agree, but here is the reader’s opinion about snabism, yes on the side of this one.

homeland, this bone of yours, it just amazed me, yes, well, and the execution, the famous one, which, well, what can i say, is not nostalgic, it’s somehow still nostalgic, yes, and this was what it was, it was always russia, even, even in later novels, she is there everywhere, there is not a single novel in which there would not be a russian character or russia, just like let’s say there is no russians at all, i didn’t think about it, but yes, yes, good, that means it’s clear. well, that’s how you feel about nabokov’s poems, the poet is still a large, medium-sized poet, it seems to me that this was very important for him for some creative acceleration, he very quickly realized that he was interested in the narrative form in the twenties, narrative, i translate into our language interlocutors, but let

it be narrative, this allowed him to do the next step, that is, without this body of texts written for mashenka, and a huge number of poems, there would not have been that wonderful nabokov combinator, nabokov, who knows how to build. the most interesting thing here is that he suggested writing russian poetry, very traditional, without anything, just without anything, my friend’s ball rolled into a candle on the floor, he continued to write this until the last years of his life, while he wrote in english the most complex

and i must say, very unloved by absolutely many, complex, complicated, maybe even to be deliberately novels in which this open emotion is no longer present, this warmth, which many lack, is no longer present, in poetry it is there. about his biography about his books and my interlocutors today, the head of the nabokov center of the institute of russian literature of the russian academy of sciences of the pushkin house , tatyana olegovna panomareva.