comedy central (cheers and applause) >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody. good to have you with us. nation, i hope you had a good weekend. i know i did. folks, what an incredible and exciting weekend. i done know if you had time to do this, i don't know-- thanks. folks, i don't know if you had time to catch up on your-- this weekend. i hope did you because if you did, folks, if you managed to watch some tv this weekend, i hope you

caught up on the nfl draft. because it'sed only place these days you can still see college graduates getting jobs. as always the big story was which player would be the number one pick. or of the last 8 picks of the 7th round. >> in the 2014 nfl draft, the st. louis rams select michael sam defensive end. >> michael sam drafted by the st. louis rams becoming the first openly gay player ever drafted. >> stephen: first openly gay player, important distinction because i think we've all had our questions about the dallas cowboys mascot rowdy. me thinks he dote proteeth tap much. and michael sam's war on traditional gridiron values started as soon as he got the phone call. >> this is the moment where michael sam got the news that he is going to be a member of the st. louis

rams. there you see the raw emotion. (laughter) >> stephen: holding! unnecessary tenderness. folks this is just wrong. in the nfl sexuality is supposed to take place off camera. and the fans should only find out about it when the charges are filed. folk, i'm up set and i'm not the only one. >> jones of the doll fines tweeted ong and horrible. >> former super bowl champion tweeted quote i'm sorry but that michael sam is no bueno for doing that on national tv. man you, you got little kids look he draft.

>> stephen: yeah, no bueno. kids are watching. now we'll have to answer their uncomfortable questions like daddy, can we stop watching the 7th round of the nfl draft? it's been 48 hours and i want to go to sleep. (applause) listen up, you can sleep once the steelers fill the holes in their secondary, young man. now folks don't get me wrong, i'm a tolerant guy, i don't care who you love as long as you don't launch your body in another man's skull like a missile-- missile made of pure hate but this kiss made people uncomfortable. just ask an expert on making people uncomfortable. >> i thought when he, you know, when he was really going at it, i mean whether-- i have a kid as well. he was really going at it. >> yeah, they were really going at it that is some

hard-core closed lip affectionate pecking. folks, i say that that kiss that kiss alone proves that sam shouldn't be in the nfl. he should be in the mlb because the moment he was drafted he had a divert fake. >> nation-- sorry, nation, i love a good comeback story, that's why my favorite rocky movie is the one with rocky in it. so i was thrilled to hear that one of the biggest stars of the 1990s is making a huge come back. >> monica lewinsky, that's her right there. >> she's written an article in "vanity fair". >> she's back. >> yup, she's back. >> she's back. >> guess who's back. >> yes, she's back. that's why we sound so up set. lewinsky wrote the cover

story for this month's "vanity fair" titled shame and survivor. it's like pride and prejudice only the hair winn isn't the one without got the happy ending. for those of you born after the lewinsky scandal first, congratulations on getting your learner's permit. second, monica lewinsky is the former white house intern whose affair with bill clinton paralyzed our government as congress attacked the president with a pathological hostility, but he was white so it backfired. now lewinsky's return is great news for republicans because this reminder of the darkest chapter of the clinton legacy comes right before hillary launches her 2016 presidential campaign. now that campaign is over. it's done, take that bathtub out of storage because we're getting president chris christy.

>> stephen: it's exactly what hillary wants us to think. because in reality, this is all part of her plan. >> i honestly think this is part of the clinton plan of sort of trying to get this out there now. >> why now? there's a lot of conspiracy theories floating out on the timing of this article. >> the timing is certainly coming under question. >> stephen: yes, the timing is certainly coming under question. what question? well, there's one right there. but are there other questions that makes two. and folks whens there's a conspiracy afoot i find the truth in my long twice running segment stephen colbert's [bleep] certificatesuous. nation, prepare to have your mind blown as i expose the secret networks of power conspiring to control our every move for instance somehow my teleprompter

knows everything i'm going to say before i say it. like this sentence i'm saying right now no matter how fest a say, eggplant, tube sock, potato salad, all those words are already in there. folks, hillary was behind this article just as surely as she was behind the woman who threw a shoe at her last month. i mean if she were not an evil manipulater why is my impression of her this. (applause) but the question is why did hillary want this news out now. >> time of it benefits hillary, it is good to get it out there talk about it, and don't hide waiting for it, you know, to rear its head again. >> i really wonder if this isn't an effort on the clinton's part to get that story out of the way. >> ruth marcus wrote in the "washington post" if and when a clinton presidential announcement comes lewinsky

is going to be old news. >> stephen: hillary is trying to make this 60 yea year-- 16-year-old news old news. you see f we talk about the lewinsky scandal now then we won't be talking about it when she's running in 2016, because if there's one thing the conservative media is known for it is letting things go. unless, wait, unless that's just what she wants us to think she wants us to think she thinks. (laughter) because the princess of darkness always has an alternative motive, right eric bolling. >> the theory that i'm hearing is this could be completely off base. >> stephen: a good chance this is [bleep] go ahead. >> is that this provides-- like just remind everyone that bill clinton was a jerk. >> stephen: busted! she wants us to say oh, poor hillary. her husband was such a jerk. chichi could be back in the

white house but with more free time. but if hillary really instructed "vanity fair" to print monica lewinsky's article there must be a paper trail. it's not like you can control the media with her mind. or can she? jim? >> you're saying you are nodding that would mean there would have to be some level of cole use with the clintons. >> there doesn't have to be because the media and democrats can communicate without talking. >> stephen: aha!! the media can communicate with democrats by reading their thoughts! but fox news caught them because they can communicate without thinking at all. (cheers and applause) nail it. nail. and folks this clock goes back decades. back in 1995 hillary clearly

gave monica one of her democratic psychic gazes second the message loud and clear give the hum tore my husband in the oval office so that 19 years later we can combine forces to publish an article that will help my presidential chances. if i've seen it once, i've seen it a thousand times. and, and i have seen it once. (cheers and applause) >> need more proof? then you're watching the wrong show. plav (laughter) that is it for another edition of stephen colbert's [bleep], tune in next time when i ask how did you know i would be doing this segment again. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)

honestly, the off-season isn't really off for me. i've got a lot to do. that's why i got my surface. it's great for watching game film and drawing up plays. it's got onenote, so i can stay on top of my to-do list, which has been absolutely absurd since the big game. with skype, it's just really easy to stay in touch with the kids i work with. alright, russell you are good to go! alright, fellas. alright, russ. back to work! it takes place in anhaha, cleveland... i love it babe. i'm not your babe. you weren't saying that this morning, when you're like... mmmmm mmmm mmm alright we're done. break up with lingering food. (ding!) mmmmm mmmm for that just brushed clean feeling...

♪ eat, drink, chew orbit i live in a luxury penthouse overlooking central park. when the guests arrive, they're greeted by my butler, larry. my helipad is being re-surfaced so tonight we travel by more humble means. at my country club, we play parlor games with members of the royal family. yes i am rich. that's why i drink the champagne of beers. a.m. crunchwraps over here. cinnabon delights over there! looks like a morning rave is about to go down. what's a rave? [ male announcer ] the next generation of breakfast is here. the waffle taco, a.m. crunchwrap, and cinnabon delights.

>> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight won a pulitzer prize for his reporting on the nsa but it's our data they stole. where is our pulitzer. please welcome glenn greenwald. (applause) i have been waiting for this for a long time. >> good, good. >> stephen: i got my knives out for you, my man. >> ready. >> stephen: welcome to the lion's den. all right, let's explain to people who love america who you are. author of three best selling book, you've written forth "new york times", l.a. times and the guardian where you are reporting on the nsa scandal and the ed snowden

leak. just won the pulitzer prize for public service. (applause) and a post award for national security reporting. your new book is called no place to hide, edward snowden, the nsa and the-- surveillance state, are you looking for a place to hide? >> i'm in the. >> stephen: really? >> but if i were, there would be no one in this surveillance state, the title actually comes from frank church who investigated the surveillance state in the mid 70s and found something nobody knew which is that the nsa was collecting enormous amounts of communications. and what he said was this is an extraordinarily dangerous machine that has been building, if it ever turned around and aimed at the american people there would be no place to hide. a very mainstream democratic senator who served in world war 2 and to that's the title of the book becauses that is in fact what happened is the nsa has turned its apparatus on americans as well as the rest of the world. >> stephen: but we did not

know the extent of that until edward snowden leaked. and you published it, right? >> correct. >> stephen: okay, so until you told me there was nothing for me to be bothered about. >> it is true. >> stephen: aren't you kind of the problem. >> i am, i do plead guilty. of course, ignorance is bliss. >> stephen: yes! >> and that's why you're so happy, right. >> stephen: yes, exactly. >> that's why you're beaming with joy. >> stephen: i will forget everything you said to me as soons you leave the studio. >> but there is a reason why journalism is protective of the first amendment, and it is because you cannot have a functioning democracy if people in power can hide from those over whom they are ruling the most consequential acts they are doing and the point of journalism is to shine a light on that which they are trying to hide and that is what we did. >> stephen: well, let's talk about that which they did using your fancy words. okay, ed snowden, ed snowden has revealed national security secrets, has fled

the country, a traiter to the united states. why should you not be prosecuted for aiding and abetting an enemy of the united states. >> that is the argument that has been made every single time somebody comes forward in an ago of conscience like osberg did in '71 that the american government was lying to the population about the vietnam war and everyone said or a lot of people said he is a traiter,. >> stephen: he lost the vietnam war for us. >> he revealed that the american government knew that it was unwinnable at the same time that they were telling the population that they were winning it. >> stephen: we'll never know now. >> so that's the play book. >> stephen: we'll never know. we might have won if he hadn't said that. >> it's possible. >> stephen: it undermines the confidence of the american people in their own government, is that what you want? >> when they are doing things that deserve to have confidence in their actions undermined, yeah it is a good idea for that to be revealed. >> stephen: now this snowden

fellow, okay. he fled to russia. does he feel more comfortable there? because it's a regime that is totally open and free? (laughter) was moredoor not accepting asylum. >> he didn't actually flee to russia. >> stephen: he fled and he's in russia. checkmate. dow want to spin this one. spin it-- spin it. >> he was on his way to latin america, heading through moscow when the u.s. government revoked his passport. >> stephen: it is easy, people get lost that way all the time. >> you just skip right over. >> stephen: the point is using asylum is not to declare what country you love the most, it's to get protection from your own government when they are trying to persecute you such as putting you in prison for 40 years for coming forward with information that -- fellow citizens ought to have known. >> stephen: his fellow citizens needed to know this, that is the argument. thank you, thank you for your support. how about these things did his fellow citizens need to know we were also spy on the

russian and chinese army or mexico or the al qaeda link islamic state of iraq or the afghan ministry of foreign affairs or hasan bule wife who is an associate of osama bin laden, all those things were revealed as well. how is that not given away american state secrets or dow believe there should nobody es meanage. >> no there should be es meanage. he actually didn't reveal any of that. what he did was he came to newspapers and said i want you to-- this information and disclose what it is, the public ought to know and withhold that which they should. most of those-- most of those stories that you just referenced were public by the newspaper called "the new york times" for which he actually gave no documents. >> stephen: don't use "the new york times" in defense of me. you believe-- you believe they did the right thing by publishing that. >> i do. >> stephen: you do. >> i do. >> stephen: you believe the united states's secrets of our intelligence apparatus should be revealed. >> the privacy rights of american citizens matter a great deal.

>> stephen: these aren't american citizens. >> the privacy rights of nonamericans, the privacy rights of-- . >> stephen: its privacy rights of nonamericans don't have privacy rights. >> they do, do, they do. >> stephen: no, they don't. if they want privacy right they should become american citizens and give them up. >> that is one theory. the other theory is that the internet is this global means of communication an if the united states government is invading it, turning it into this mass you big quittist system of surveillance which they are doing you really can't segregate what they are doing to americans verse nonamericans tk makes the internet weakened it makes it so that all communications that take place electronically over the internet are known to the nsa, collected, monitors and store and that is what sneeden thinks we should have known it about and i find it hard to believe that anyone would say we would remain better off to remain ignorant of what our own government is doing to the american people. >> stephen: these are not all internet. >> they are telephone, internet.

>> stephen: telephone isn't internet. >> good point. >> stephen: did i just win the argument. >> you won that part of the argument. >> stephen: thank you very much. >> con gattlations. >> stephen: where is my pulitzer? (laughter) hold on one second. we've got to go to a commercial break. but we'll be right back with more glenn [ male announcer ] the taste of summer is here, and applebee's new grilled vidalia onion sirloin with that fresh-from-the-farm, sweet vidalia onion taste takes you straight to your summer happy place. [ man ] whoo-hoo-hoo! ♪

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>> stephen: we're back with glenn greenwald, the intook no place to hide. okay, what else is in this book. you've got new revelations in this book. what are so things that we didn't know that are supposedly going to shock my conscious. >> one of the things that happened is the nsa made all kinds of claims of what they are doing and not doing and we have made other claims and a lot of times they are in conflict so what i wanted to do was publish a document that the nsa created when they thought they were speaking in private. that they thought nob would know what they were saying. so many of the documents they describe their on jifkts and missions is wildly different than what they say in public so there is one document that says our collective posture is

collect it all, sniff it all, process it all, exploit it all. not collect the communication of terrorists or people doing bad things, collect it all. they collect billions, sniff it all, exflight all. >> process it all. >> stephen: wow. >> and they collect billions, billions with a b of e-mails and telephone calls every single day. so they do things like if people around the world buy routers which is from american companies they literally physically-- the product out of the mail, open occupy the package, stick a back door device into it and reveal it the factory product and send it on to the unwitting user. >> stephen: internet router, a switch, a server, thins that they have been accuse the chain ease government of doing for years and urging people not to buy chinese products which they themselves have been doing so people will buy american products that they kin individual. >> stephen: so if i, if my net gear router isn't working one day i can just call the nsa for customer service? >> they're probably came from them there say good

chance that it did. so maybe they can help you with it. >> stephen: all right. all right. so you don't live in the united states any more. where are you-- what are you hiding, you live in brazil. >> i do. >> stephen: they do terrible things. the united states may collect all of our e-mails but they take all of your body hair. there's got toing something about that. >> that is the next book. >> stephen: that will sell a lot. >> there are pictures and everything. >> stephen: you said there are more stories coming. is there anything as big and as juicy as has already been released? >> i genuinely believe that the story that is the biggest one that will make the biggest impact and will shape how the events of the last ten months are viewed by history is the story on which we are currently work that hopefully will be ready within four to eight weeks. >> stephen: what is it about. >> it is one of the missing pieces is on whom is the nsa buying in america, who are they targeting, for what purpose who are these people that they are declaring to be sufficient threats that it warrants reading their

e-mails and what is the pattern of people that they have targeted. are these political dissident, critics of u.s. foreign policy or terrorist, that is the reporting that remains to be done. >> stephen: is it good news? >> it's hard for me to preview but i think you can assume that if i think it's the biggest story that will say how it gets remembered that will are volume interesting revelations that we are working as hard and fast as we can to get published and lots of other stories that remain in the archives as well. >> stephen: glenn, thank you so much for being here. please have someone else start your car for a while, all right? glenn greenwald no place to hide. hide. bell's be right - rated "m" for mature. - the nazis rule the world now. - well then, i'll find the resistance. i'll find them and i'll help them fight. - we will rise up and take down... the nazis. - ( rock music playing ) - blazkowicz, can you hear me? what's your status?

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♪ ♪ hey, what are you drinking? i'll take a redd's strawberry ale! what? redd's! i think he wants this. redd's strawberry ale. fresh like a strawberry. brewed like an ale. >> stephen: that's it for the report, everybody, good night captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

>> may 13th, 2014 -- from comedy central's worldview's headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central welcome to the daily show. i'm jon stewart. my guest tonight: ron suskind, author of "life animated: a story of sidekicks, heroes and autism." very interesting. now we turn to the troubling state of our democracy which, having hit some tough times, has been left with no choice but to sell its body to the highest bidder. >> the koch brothers, the industrial magnates currently tied for fourth on forbes list of richest americans with $36 billion apiece. in 2012, the koch brothers political network raised