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the report, everybody, good night. >> may 19th, 12014. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> jon: thank you, welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. good show tonight. professor x, you may think to yourself oh -- james mcavoy is professor x. (laughter) [bleep] you may remember a few weeks ago on the program, dow watch the program?

(laughter) or you may not remember, you may have been watching basketball. we addressed a minor incident in our otherwise spotless department of veterans affairs. something about the phoenix va workers falsifying patient waiting lists so that it didn't seem like veterans had long waits before seeing doctors. (laughter) but you know t was a good system give or take a couple of scores of veterans we may have killed. i got so mad that i screamed into this jar t is a swear jar that i would scream into. it's pretty full now, unfortunately. let me just-- [bleep] (laughter) [bleep].

>> jon: i think that might have been a three syllable one, i don't know. well, good news, according to va secretary eric shinseki's congressional testimony last week, the va days are over. >> people quote, unquote, cook the books? is that in fact a problem within the health-care system? >> i am not aware and other than a number of isolated cases where there is evidence of that. >> jon: isolated cases quarantined. so that makes me feel much better, unless, and i think this is highly unlikely, a news report would air, i don't know, the exact same day that shinseki was testifying before congress, unless a news report like that says otherwise. >> it's alleged that va hospitals in at least eight stays were hiding veterans appointments on secret lists to improve hospital records on wait times.

>> oh. >> jon: at least-- [bleep] [bleep] (laughter) >> jon: is bald really a swear word? is that-- i don't know how bald got in there, quite frankly. actually, i do now how bald got in there. (laughter) so general shinseki, by isolated you meant that the problem of inadequate veteran health care was isolated to veterans. well, it's not like senior va magazine in 2010 sent a memo warning regional va directors about inappropriate practices designed to make waiting lists look shorter, except they did. or that cbs news obtained another memo from a va hospital explicitly outlining how and why colleagues should game the

waiting list. >> if we exceed the 14 day measure for scheduling appointments, it says, the front office gets very up set. he outlined a way to get around it. when patients called for an a pointment they were not booked into the computer until an appointment came up no later than 14 days away. that way the memo says you get off the bad boy's list. >> jon: bald! yes, you would get off the va's bad boy list. but where is this other list. perhaps written more indelibly, no. i was actually thinking of the big book of ass-- by the way the guy on the cover there, we goog elim ages of assholes and that is the stock photo that came up.

so i apologize to whoever just thought sure, i'll fix my hair, why not. general shinseki anything would you like to say about this latest insult to our nation's veterans? >> any adverse incident like this makes me-- makes me mad as hell. coy use stronger language here, mr. chairman. but in difference to the committee i won't. >> no i think that would be an appropriate use of stronger language. perhaps i can also use something. let's dip into the jar and see what we've got [bleep]. >> yeah [bleep] does seem appropriate. you know, i think general shinseki, since you've headed up the va since 2009, five years into your tenure maybe you could rachet up the vocabulary or even use nonverbal signs to better convey the anger you say you

feel but did use apparently to get results because you don't look mad, versus the cat might pin his ears back. a harp seal might raise up on its, whatever that thing is that it's raising up on. but a human, a human might move their lips or face. your's mad as hell face looks a lot like oh,-- face (laughter) maybe you could take a page out of australians describing dog interaction guide. >> they came down-- now that guy gets things done. know of course. >> there is apparently a leak. now shin secretary syalso though not the only one who

is very angry. >> the president is madder than hell and i have got the scars to prove it. >> oh, yeah, no, i'm sure the story of how you got those scars will really impress the guys waiting for the va for treatment. oh, lost a leg to an ied in fallujah. oh, i got this when a fiddle hit me in the eyebrow so-- yeah. now of course this type of bureaucratic trauma runs deep. the anger and sadness go back years like 12007 when the walter reid scandal broke. >> i was disturbed by their account. i like everybody i like everybody was angered and offended. >> i see what is happening here. the depression, the impotent rage. our government leaders are clearly suffering from pbsd post bureaucratic stress disorder. only there was some where they could get treatment. well, probably be a long wait. in fact, walter reid was such a big problem our president was on it before he was even president.

>> they come home to a new front line of red tape and bureaucracy. that's unacceptable. >> this is just one more example of our failure to live up to what we profess to honor and that is military service. and i think that it's a good way, i think the american people are disgusted by it. >> which jooips hitting the button and it's really, here's what disgusts me. somehow we as a country were able to ship 300,000 troops halfway across the world in just a few months to fight a war that cost us $2 trillion, an amount that didn't count towards the deficit because we paid for it somehow under the table. yet for some reason it takes longer than that to get someone hurt in that war, needed medical care or reimbursement. all whi we profess undying

love for their service. >> i want every veteran to know that america will always honor your service. >> they serve, sacrifice. >> the most honorable men and women. >> the courage and commitment. >> we appreciate you. we love you. >> the best military in the world. >> we have the finest military in the world. >> so it's clear love and respect ain't getting the job done so there is really only one way to put our government's full resources behind it. if you really want to improve the lives of these veterans, i'm afraid we have to declare a war on them. (laughter) >> congress, write a blank check to fund operation enduring wait list, a war on error. because if you want americans to feel shock and awe, will you fix it. [bleep] we'll be right back ♪ the new samsung galaxy s5 with s-health helps you stay on top of your goals. it works with your gear fit to give you a nudge when you need it... ...somebody's motivated...

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>> welcome back. our own jason jones has traveled to india to report on the a bore dorb --

adorable-- tonight in part 26 his series jason learns how india handles the elections himself. as i travel through india i was struck by this festival of democracy but if there is their idea of a morning commute there was no way they could possibly engineer elections that rival ours. i sat with the former head of india powerful election commission to see how this adorable democracy handles modern politics. >> we in india have surely the biggest democracy on the planet. and we would like it to be the greatest. >> i don't want to bag but a couple of our states have been experimenting with electronic voting. we're kind of pioneers when it comes to that. >> do you we have 100% electronic voting. >> 100 percent. >> 100 percent. >> okay, fine, about you in america we have a variety of ways to keep voter turnout low so our democracy doesn't become too representative. how does india tamp down

their-- voters. >> who is your disenfranchised voters. >> i think nobody. >> what about the people wh who-- what about the lepers is what i am saying. >> they vote. >> i was just making a joke. you actually have lepers here. >> of course, every vote counts and every vote is equal. >> yeah, right, i have training video from the election commission that shows they don't really do that much to accommodate the leper vote because in india they mark your finger after you vote but what happens if you don't have a left index finger. oh, you go to the next one watch. if you have no fingers. oh, you mark the hand. >> no arm. >> holy [bleep] does that make it easy for you. but if they let lepers vote what group do they prevent voting. >> everyone literal, il literal, everybody. homeless, they're all varieties. >> you let your illiterates. >> of course.

so for them we have symbols. >> dow either pick the kite or coffee cup. >> yes whans is this one here this looks like two penises. >> yeah, i don't know. it is not very clear. >> it's very clear it looks like-- [bleep] we have to carry the last. >> and he literally means the last person. >> we have a polling station -- >> that sounds like an incredible waste of resources. >> that is a very offensive statement. >> but that was true, everywhere i went by boat, ox cart, farm equipment or the patel family station wagon there was a polling station. literally one station every two kilometers across the entire country. and they were surprisingly comfortable. >> that wasn't the spread you put out more the media, the chips are great. >> it is not for the meddian, it for all voters. >> that is for the voters.

>> yup. >> and amazingly the voters actually liked it. >> people actually think their vote counts here? >> we believe our vote truly counts. and we will use them to bring changes to the ruling congress party. >> surely its ruling congress party must be worried about all this dem october see. i sat down with one of their top members. >> we prefer independent authorities. >> there are things you could do to prevent yourself from -- >> you mean by insurancing that people aren't registered to vote. >> exactly. >> we don't do that. >> even if it means. >> i think will be revealed i will the voters on the 16th of may. >> and vealed it was. they got their asses kicked when 67% of indian voters showed up at the polls. a percentage we have seen since the 1900s. >> how can someone who looks like you and sounds like you-- [bleep] politician. >> i guess.

>> fine, maybe their democracy was more vibrant than ours. but coming up next time we'll see there is no way their 24 hour news can live up to -- what if you could shrink your pores just by washing your face? [ female announcer ] neutrogena® pore refining cleanser. alpha-hydroxy and exfoliating beads work to clean and tighten pores so they can look half their size. pores...shrink 'em down to size! [ female announcer ] pore refining cleanser. neutrogena®. so safely whiten your smile with listerine whitening®. other mouthwashes just whiten teeth. but only listerine whitening®

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worth up to $650. introducing wendy's new tuscan chicken. now i know why italians talk with their hands. lightly breaded chicken with rich garlic and roasted tomato aioli on toasted ciabatta bread. lunch with a little more passion. now that's better. >> jon: welcome back, my guest tonight a great new fill x-men, bay days of future past. >> i was sent here for you. >> tell whoever it was that sent you that i'm busy. >> it's going to be a little tricky because the person who sent me was you. >> what? >> about 50 years from now. >> 50 years from now like in the future. >> 50 years from now, yeah. >> i sent you from the future. >> yeah. >> if you had your powers you would know i was telling the truth. >> how do you know i don't have my-- all right, you've

piqued my interest, what do you want? >> i need your help. >> we need your help. >> jon: piqued my interest as well. please welcome back to the program james mcavoy. (applause) this is the one i've been waiting for. days of future past. this is for the x-men afficionado this sequence is really the pinnacle of the x-men series. you as a young professor meeting up with-- in the comic strip wolverine. >> yeah, when i get sent back, you're a fan of x-men. >> yeah what do you think i sit around reading comic

books, yeah. >> i i don't know why-- probably because it is played high hugh jackman who seems like the most charismatic man i ever met in my life. >> incredible. >> incredible. >> he is quite charismatic. the idea that you as a professor as a young man who has squandering powers on the drink and the drugs. >> not on the ladies. >> but still mobile. when you and patrick stewart, am i giving-- should i -- >> no, no. you can, you can. it's in the trailer. no, do. >> when wolverine comes back and you die, what-- . >> jon: i'm quiding, that doesn't happen. >> in the head. >> jon: did you-- how did you guys play that idea, how did you play the idea that you are a young him, clearly your hair is still there. >> it, it is. >> well, you know there is no point in going back to

the 60s and 70s if they weren't different and we looked at everything that patrick did and tried to do something as far away from that as possible. not because he did a bad job. he did an incredible job, but so we can then move towards it over the course of move yeast. so the obvious was no hair, i'm going have hair. and he was really nice to everybody i'm going to be really nasty. so honestly it was that simple. >> was the best part a bit going against yourself you and patrick. >> oh, i see what you are saying is that you what do when you read x-men comics. i have been pushing this movie for two weeks now and i realize about myself i'm just a walking joke.

i've made more of those jokes in the last few weeks than its combined forces of north america could muster. >> jon: we're right up there with you. you're a busy man. you have been on three continents in two days or four continents promoting. >> oh, i am-- where were you where were you. >> i was in london for peif days, then i was in north-- i was in new york for six days and i was in south london for two more days, san palo, then here as of yesterday out of all of that and i think i know the answer. what-- what has been the one where you thought stuff like yeah, this has been worth the whole flying all over. >> it is a close, you are a close sect. >> jon: to, to? >> flying a helicopter.

>> jon: you flew a helicopter. >> we were flying a helicopter. we landed in sao paolo and they said the traffic is too bad, you need a hell korpt. and i said dude i ain't arguing with that. i said shotgun and went up the front and we got up over the airport and as we were flying out they said would you like to fly the helicopter and i looked at him and i thought he was joking an he took his hands-off the joystick that's just what it is. >> jon: i understand. >> and its control stick an and-- sow put your hand on the joystick. >> he did put my hand on the joystick but it was consensual and i hadn't had i had like an ambien or something, i was with it, you know. >> i get it. >> i was with it, i just wasn't aware of it. so yeah i was olding -- >> are they difficult to fly.

did it seem like an easy thing to do. did you think to yourself oh, this pilot is insane. >> i did think he was insane but i was holding the joystick and i thought is doable. this is fine and then the slightest movement-- so i took my hands-off it. he [bleep] and he took back-- but two days later flying out of sao paolo we got the same helicopter pilot he let me do it again. >> jon: here's my favorite part of the story when you he expressed surprise. >> i don't understand. i can't believe this acker i have never met doesn't know how to fly a helicopter this professional pretender he's an x-men and i let him fly a hell korpt. apparently doesn't do it very well. >> i'm looking forward to this. i like them all is one i have been looking forward to.

x-men days of future past n the theatres on friday, james mcavoy. >> thank you oh my god! look. you need to see this. show 'em the curve. ♪ do you know what this means? the greater the curvature, the bigger the difference. [sci-fi tractor beam sound] ...sucked me right in... it's beautiful. gotta admit one thing... ...can't beat the view. ♪ introducing the world's first curved ultra high definition television from samsung.

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>> jon: that's our show, here it is, your moment of zen. >> buying those evil spirits behind with the bloods of jess u the name of jesus, the power of-- the holy spirit. take superiority and roll in with your tanks. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> [speaking foreign language]