>> sean: unfortunately that's all the time we have left for this week thank you for being with us monday 230 days until the most important election of your lifetime no pressure though thank you for joining us thank you for making this show possible please set your dvr so you never ever miss an episode of hannity in the meantime let not your heart be troubled greg gutfeld standing by a great weekend.

>> greg: it's friday you know what that means let's welcome tonight's guests, this cougars clause will give you pause fox news anchor [ inaudible ] his jackets are wildly popular with mom's post of fox news saturday night jimmy she will beat your ass with unlimited sass cohost of the bottom line [ inaudible ] and his enormous size affects the tirades new york best-selling [ inaudible ] my goodness gracious i'm so excited before we start to some news stories let's do this it's

leftover is where i read the jokes we didn't use this weekend as always it's my first time reading them so if we start will forest joe mackey did a lap dance o.j. simpson died yesterday wow he died after a brief battle with cancer also dad nicole simpson after a brief battle with oj football fans were surprised he died of cancer as buffalo bills players are known for choking the good news about oj's passing is cato can finally move into the main house career jumpy or did condolences to the oj family but did not

mention oj's victims in her defence, she is stupid speaking of oj's family simpson leaves behind four children and two heads he is a murderer when reached for comment the ghost of johnny cochran remarked actually vaclav did fit that i'm dead and you can't do [ bleep ] meanwhile reality star khloe kardashian once again dealing with a conspiracy theory that oj is actually her real father when we know who it really is former biden chief of staff ron claims as his old boss shouldst top

taking victory laps over the economy staffers told him he was mistaken that was joe just wandering in circles a viral video with my role of a horse waiting for a train to arrive at a subway station animal control explains that the beast was just commuting to work speaking of the view will be goldberg said republicans want to bring slavery back that's not true claimed republicans then there'd be no way to get you in about donald trump visited a chick-fil-a and atlanta this week when asked what the best part of his visit was trumpet said watching stacy abrams cleaned the deep fryer chlamydia

hepatitis c and syphilis some of the stds of infecting americans age 55 and older at a shocking rate. >> big as td guy over there. >> greg: don't look at me said one woman the afternoon darkness from the monday eclipse reeked have asked with some people's schedules including president biden who accidentally crawled into his coffin three hours early inflation even hitting garbage collection as prices have arisen 6 percent economists blame a sudden increase in the weight of the collected trash.

>> greg: thieves nabbed with $300,000 in stolen logos upon being caught the thieves were [ bleep ] bricks apparently oversexed zombie cicadas that are infected with a bizarre std fungus may be coming to the u.s. biologist have a rough picture of what they may look like dancers in alabama strip clubs save their employer forces them into socialism by making them share tips weight you're supposed to tip asked one man

and finally the trump campaign demanding that biden debate him much earlier and more often win trump was asked why he said that it's because he's never debated anybody using a ouija board let's do the news that dusty bag of bones cancel student loans joe buys votes with the executive order to hell with fixing the border the president wiped out another $7.4 billion of student dad for almost 300,000 by our learn the last time joe wiped out that much cash the taliban got 50 helicopters biden likes to call for forgiveness but the problem is those loans are to forgive, you the taxpayer are the silly dopes who stuck with that tab like a pair of depends on joe's ass. you recall last year the supreme court ruled against brightens

vibes for boat scheme calling the plan unconstitutional he ignored that the way he ignores the border and his hygiene into the grandchild, he went around them empowering his education department to magically erase 350 billion in debt and counting. meanwhile every day our southern border seize more traffic than liz's fridge what was the guy doing out here in the first place, ice prosecutors reportedly didn't tell the judge he was on the chairlift because it was classified. they told the judge it's classified. he was let out and the judge plays to zero restrictions on the guy's movements meaning he could have popped up anywhere even a planet fitness women's locker room but even terrorist won't go there too many penises

i can't believe i said that while biden says he can't fix the border with the flick of a pin he can rob billions of dollars to bribe voters think about it, the commander-in-chief's responsibility is to defend the country that's a fundamental requirement of a president and he says he can't do it it's like the guy installing an alarm system for your house telling you you can't have locks on your doors and then the president released billions of dollars as a payout for votes that's like the guy installing the alarm system for your house not only saying you can't lock your doors but then he goes and grabs her life savings from your safe he and his seen world shouldn't this cost him his job what say you joe. >> this supremes they thought they had me but i ran around damen i'm going to do it anyway i'm giving away money i call it forgiveness i'm going to forgive these young people for money

i'll forgive them for the barbie may be the whole deal and then we get some votes but i call it forgiveness that's my new motto forgiveness forgiveness even if i can't feel anything in my right leg julie you look amazing as always but it could be because you're sitting next to jimmy everything looks amazing next to jimmy including a superfund site, enough insulting him on the border alone shouldn't he he's declared himself unfit it's kind of like saying let's say there's a war going on and i can't defend the country he saying i can't supply

the country with a border. >> speaking of defending this is indefensible seven-point for additional billion dollars in lone forgiveness another 277,000 followers or borrowers i'm thinking about social media, anyway nonetheless this is screwed the border and i'm not talking about the type of screwing that hunter and hookers are involved and i'm talking about our president to his screen the border and here's my solution when i run for president i'm going to take a 277 followers or borrowers and make them work for it because that's what our youth are not used to his having to work for thanks and put them on the border and put some vests on them and make them protect the borders so they actually have to work for that money. >> greg: if you want to pay off your debt you have to build a wall you little freak, by the way that reminds me what surveys

a c. said we need to forgive the debt so they can actually go and get more school, go to grad school or travel abroad once you forgiveness lone will just take out another and you can forgive that one also. >> these are stupid people i love your lives owed joke i want to tag it because i genuinely laughed out loud and you don't know this but lives though is actually single and ready to pringle. >> greg: that joke was terrible but stick with me first of all student lone forgiveness scam you made people forced to pay loans who don't take them out to imagine what a slap in the face it is for people like me who into community college and did it the right way by giving a guy a bag of weed in the registrar's office but it's just amazing to think that point there guy is buying votes and still pulling at 38 percent more people would pay the lone then put up with another four years

of this [ bleep ] that's amazing. >> greg: what drives me crazy is the use of the word forgiveness and i realize if they can do this with this loan you can apply the word forgiveness to anything, like jail sentences or you pick it and say were going to forgive the time and in this case the money is out. >> you know me i don't forgive. >> or forget. >> ever i never forget the american people are not going to forget this because what has happened biden and company have told the vast majority of americans almost 90 percent of americans have no student lone debt they have told all of laws screw you but here's your part of the bill so now that bond

trader down the hall from me has had his mba loan forgiven and he's going to buy his girlfriend a new even bigger set of the zoom and every time she bounces passed my door i'll be reminded that i paid for those. >> greg: trump should do but zoom forgiveness think about it that was the first time i've heard the stat about 90 percent, that's pretty incredible, there are more people that have breast in parents,. >> you don't have to wait for present trump i can start that right now. >> greg: you have to. >> when they all have those four-minute animal commercials and i'll come on with the sad face and talk about all she needs is two more sizes.

>> only 199 per month all these girls the confidence and the self-esteem that they need to go travelling the world and right after that commercial high its tires again do you have a flat but? only 299 per month. >> greg: to you think you could get a card that says you've adopted. >> you get a t-shirt and an eight by ten of their new bosom's that you can put over your bed at night, kiss your babies and go to sleep. >> greg: every month you get a new picture. >> here's the beautiful thing you don't have to adopt just one you can have a baker's dozen of beautiful but assumes. >> greg: a baker's dozen is 13

>> some guys like it weird. >> total recall. >> an odd number. >> greg: wood you like to comment or should we stop i forgot what it was. >> you're supposed to ask for forgiveness so once again progressives don't know the words that they use and it's great because the guy they tell to say it doesn't know what he's saying all right out of breath up next in a press conferenceou thriller kareem givet s condolences to a killer ♪ ("three little birds" by bob marley & the wailers) ♪ ♪ discover our newest resort sandals saint vincent and the grenadines, now open.

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>> greg: a little miss obtuse comes out to support the juice sorry oj died but left out the double homicide our video of the day from the white house press secretary who awkwardly expressed her condolences on o.j. simpson's death yesterday hit it. >> our thoughts are with his family during this difficult time obviously with his family and loved ones and i'll say this i know they have asked for some privacy so we will respect that. >> greg: [ bleep ] no mention of the victims instead she referred only to o.j. simpson which is understandable she probably is used to speaking on behalf of a dead guy will give her the day, jimmy do you think she knew who oj was because that felt like she could have said

that about anybody. >> listen to me you set it at the top of the show she is stupid. >> greg: more to it. >> i know that she has no idea she thought the white bronco was john elway she had no idea she doesn't end by the way do you know how awkward this is i drive a white bronco i and by the way my wife never behaved better but no backtalk in my house, with that speaks to weather she knew about it or not this is a bigger problem with this admits ration we talk about this with other issues they have more empathy for the criminal than the victim that's all the woke bail reforms is and in their eyes oj as much of a victim as they are our which is stupid. >> greg: so let's say she doesn't know the story which is amazing in itself she couldn't be bothered to do a google search and this is the real

story she must be so unpopular with her staff that none of them bothered to tell her so someone says, hey, he have to mention that he died and she says he was a heisman trophy winner and for football he played. >> okay and then they all laugh. >> they set her up. >> then she came back or you sure this guy. >> he was in those naked gun films okay that guy. >> there's no way she doesn't know because i check to see how old she was and she was a freshman in college in 1994 so what are freshman college doing? there sitting around watching the bronco chase so my only theory is somebody actually asked the old coot in charge what they should say about oj and all of biden's point of reference are 40 to 50 years ago

because he has no short-term memory so he immediately goes to run juice run go jews go i used to love jumping over luggage in my house i love ford fairmont's give him thoughts and prayers and privacy he has no memory of anything that happened after like 85 that was my theory. >> i think you're giving joe too much credit i think he thinks o.j. simpson is bart's brother. >> greg: >> the laugh is about to be sucked out of the building. >> greg: i want to bring up marc lamont hill posting on ask he's a professor he used to do read years ago he said yes oj killed two people in cold blood but his acquittal for murder was

correct and necessary a necessary result of a criminal legal system he was still a monster not a murder meaning that yes he's a murderer but so what and i have to give him credit for saying what leftist won't say, at the same time he said something to me this morning that blew my mind you see this pattern. >> stop calling me at 6:00 in the morning. >> greg: about hamas. >> he was acquitted by a jury of his peers and he gave birth to between four hour media that we have today journalism was dead it became opinions and feelings but here's the thing the progressive agenda is anti- jew and pro- hamas and oj falls under the hamas mindset so the juice and newcomers get recognized in the white house but victims of murder the

goldman family have to relive [ bleep ] this stuff that jokes everything they lost family members sell the ground family if you say there thing is the reason why he killed was because of the oppressive whites oj was loved by white people okay he was loved by everybody white people really loved the juice okay he was on everything he had at that time the black community calling him a sellout they called him uncle tom and all of these things and when the [ bleep ] went down he went to a black church to meet with people and a little old ladies and why are you here and that's what it is they will support hamas and oj before they will support anyone named goldman she didn't forget anything she said it this is the narrative this is what we believe we won't break from the plan. >> greg: that parallel is that

win somebody is talking about hamas they will say yes, they did very bad thanks on october 7th but don't we all and he's doing that they say hamas did a very bad thing but it was against this terrible thing, hamas, they're doing that with oj killed these, these people but in the context of race those people deserved it, that is a scam it's a moral equivalence they're trying to draw they said when oj got off that the rodney king cops didn't go to jail but you understand the nicole brown didn't beat rodney king it doesn't really apply but the death is obviously significant because of who he was and also as a player he's the nfl all-time leader in fleeing yardage which is not nothing. >> greg: before i can i are just. >> annoying very awful shameful.

>> i don't mind her outfit tonight i'm only kidding i love you i find that she is so ignorant because of course she knows who is who does not know o.j. simpson let's not give her a pass on that she's stupid i won't give her a pass there but this was in 97 and he was acquitted on murderers and he was found responsible for the deaths of two people they didn't even acknowledge that whatsoever and i remember i was in college i walked the bronco chase everyone glued to the television set everyone in the world nose that if he was a white man and there were two black victims i guarantee you the white house response would have been very different today they would not even acknowledge him what they would have acknowledge the victims it's absolutely just. >> and i know where is going long but let me say one thing and i hate to disagree but we have to have to stop calling her ignorant and stupid we have to stop calling the left that they are committed to their cause period and then not stupid if someone is stupid and ignorant you can teach them you can debate them and educate them and have a conversation with them

anything we've said today they'll come back with we were all israel supporting racists toxic mail et cetera they are committed to the cause and they don't mind giving us the middle finger because they are in the seat right now. >> i get called a toxic mail every day. >> that's your hashtag. >> greg: we have to move on but i have to tell you the most interesting fact that i learned was from jesse believe it or not >> a fact? >> steve do these weiss is the woman in the hertz commercial that throws the keys to oj. >> is that true. >> greg: isn't that insane it's insane she dodged a nice pop next show tomorrow have to trade sexy skirts for oversized shirts. >> happy memories just comee easier oben the water mike mike and pontoon boats powered by mercury. proudly built in missouri and sold factory direct

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>> greg: it five words mom is too hot for fred it, a woman looking for advice online says her teenage son asked her to dress more modestly because his friends think she is hot, the sun is embarrassed by his mom's attractiveness, is that really is mom's problem? >> she said i don't wear anything too flashy or revealing but i do like to enhance my features with makeup, i'm guessing this mom addresses like a horror and it is i'm thinking what jeff bezos soon to be ex-wife or future ex-wife dressed like at the white house where she either has side to cleavage or butt cleavage or just a giant curved ass in the front she's trying to act like it's my son's problem and it's

like know everyone is hypnotized by your you know again i'm looking down to see if there are any new blitz of corn that fell down in there after dinner. >> i think we lived in a different time then when i was growing up i never noticed my friends mom's, they were kind of a different species. >> but they wore mom jeans back than that's why. >> they didn't even have jeans they were wearing house coats. >> being over 40 and being hot and social media is all the rage but all defend this mom heaps she probably does dress like a horrible what's wrong with that i think more power to her as a mom who was fat as replete at at some point in my life i mean i've peed myself every time i laugh or sneeze or smell something so i had three kids i would not so great naked, i don't know if you ever imagined

it but it's not pretty. >> greg: if i even answered that question i would go to hr. >> i'll walk you and there let's go hello tyrus know it's not me actually this time it's him. >> i have done a little bit of transfer -- transformation of myself and i finally have, i've lost 40 pounds thank you and i actually can see there are muscles under the layers of fat, they call them sixpacks of got to get to pack but i'm working on it. >> greg: rip tupac. >> mom is not sleeping around she just looks like a war. >> greg: that's a great t-shirt. >> greg: buy the way a lot of moms in their thirties, maybe they're just dressing their age. >> it's weird if your mom is

stacking your friends mom is not in dollar 99 a month you can get bosoms and your mom can dress like a slot to. >> greg: we love it. >> greg: we have to do this do you know how much money we could make. >> forget the money how may lives we can change it's not just young girls some of you silver foxes in the crowd, ladies let's get that sag on and get our brag on. >> this is going to end with tyrus having a reality show in the villages called golden girls gone wild. >> greg: did you have hot moms when you were a child in the

sixties. >> everyone will watching will appreciate this my friend vinnie's mom and this is the point i want to make to this kid if his mom starts covering up those friends don't come over anymore being the hot mom guy is like being the guy who suddenly has a car you are attractive for reasons that you aren't, imagine the awkwardness of this conversation i felt awkward asking my mom for money for a baseball bat imagine being like a can you put your kids away but i do relate because my son has asked me not to show so much of my breasts when we walk around and i worked out. >> i have some nipple covers in my office. >> we must move on i think we've really covered that coming up responses never fail when we answer you were male

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in the five we have time for i think one question from boomer 61 who asks what is the best decade for music and why. >> eighties all day i like the eighties the best. >> greg: why. >> give it up for everybody over 45 in all honesty popped 40 in the eighties was immigrated you might here run dmc but then hear madonna i think it had more range and i liked eighties hairbands, def leppard pour some sugar on me that their ages pour some stuff when not sugar about i specifically like eighties music and i think it's also because the coming-of-age of mtv parallel with the videos the thriller videos that was amazing although can we agree that looking back now the most shocking -- shocking part of the thriller video was that michael had a girlfriend.

>> the seventies just for the band's not so much the genres of music but the allman brothers and the band for me but also just this dude is. >> the seventies you had metal, full, punk and ten years. >> and disco and the jams and funk of disco. >> this is going to go over well at this group, the nineties but specifically wall, hey, i didn't say it this is when gangster rap was born into the way i skew and when you can talk about stuff i was like, yeah, i'm in it i'm down with that. >> i'm been a goal with the seventies a little different new

music selection i liked christopher cross and the bee gees that's all i listen to i'm like a much older women. >> greg: did you hang out all around a lot of dental offices. >> a lot of time in the elevator >> it's romantic and i feel like it was much easier to be alive back then, i was alive but it was like a grownup. >> greg: some more like nostalgic for childhood. >> well being a woman they weren't really into shaving back then i don't think. >> are we talking about having the same seventies music where every other song was about being with an underage girl okay. >> greg: buy the way the seventies of those people were still alive they would all be me

to, all of them, their songs were bragging that they were underage. >> one of the greatest songs of the seventies on the cover of the rolling stone he says we have a little teenaged blue-eyed groupie who does everything we say that's an actual confession. >> greg: that would hold up in a court of law. >> buy the way don't google that lyric at work. >> greg: i may be different go to thousands because that was kind of the birth of electronic remover when that kind of came in and i'm lying it's actually the seventies. >> five we have time okay how about this if you're a ghost who would you haunt. >> oh, god i don't know haydn i would haunt joe biden and i would creepily give him a little

taste of his own medicine by whispering in his ear while he tries to give speeches just to further confuse him you have to be careful if you flip it on do you and do it to you because he's dead to. >> greg: you can't haunt the dead person. >> who would i haunt which baby mama, that's where my money went who is that, i wouldn't haunt anybody i just go away i'm dead i'm going on leave and you know what i'm gonna haunt? a seat at one my favourite sports teams and disconnects that and then someone's going to get up glycol my god that courtside seat with the floating beer it's haunted. >> greg: haunt a place you would like to be. >> no i would haunt all of the

ex-boyfriend that i have taxes on right now. >> greg: that's a lot. >> i kinda feel like this person is a stocker what is haunting, would you want to spy on, you know what i mean? >> is not spying its torture. >> well for sticking with the presidential theme i would haunt trump, nothing against him but i just want to be around monia. >> greg: i think i'll go with tyrus all just find a place i'll just haunt like a locker room. >> greg: stop it. >> stop at. >> he would be at some musical somewhere. >> i do have migraines all day definitely a locker room but i walk or fly these animals caught ri

>> i'll go with the raccoon i love animals i have so many my house many of them are actually humans but look at this he is not making a mess he is not doing anything wrong look at this little raccoon precious and he looks like he just got out of jail which reminds me a lot he just likes to lay androids and get pat's. >> greg: is in a drawer where did this video come from. >> the internet were all videos come from. >> greg: generally i want to know about what's going on with this raccoons you want to think i read the article. >> to be honest look like he was being harassed a bit he's raising his hand like seriously i said the shoulder. >> greg: story. >> mine is a squirrel that

politely asks for a drink of water at grand canyon national park watch how nice the squirrel is look looking waving grabbing and i just want to complement how good-looking the squirrels are at national park have you gone to central park our squirrels have gang tattoos, you know what i'm saying they will take the bottle right from you i didn't know you were doing this segmented means a lot to me as an animal guy we recently put a cat to sleep in my house don't feel bad i actually made the other cat watch so it knows were not afraid to make some changes in this administration, interact together. >> greg: i knew that was coming somewhere. >> i don't know those dogs name but i'm calling him captain. >> kevin just letting his humans no they have a garbage sofa with cracks in it it's ripped and he's just helping in them out

and reminding them go buy a new dam sofa. >> homeboy not even helping them. >> looks like they're going to the beach together is that green carpeting. >> that's the guts of the couch. >> oh wow i have to get new glasses all right tyrus. >> some of my new additions to my exotic flower collection came in so pretty excited about those guys all the way from thailand. >> greg: i know that feeling. >> come here. >> greg: these are amazing. >> organ had used to write here,. [ please stand by ]

>> these are cool, these are fun >> are they flown in tanks? >> i have a whole tank in my mini jet my star trek cruiser is not working. they stick him in a bag with some air and say good luck. >> i wonder if they know they flew. these are clearly being ordered from thailand and... we will be right back

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