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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 23, 2023 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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get started for $59.99 a month for 12 months. plus, ask how to get an $800 prepaid card with a qualifying internet bundle. comcast business, powering possibilities. all of us. we appreciate your time. terry bradshaw and howi lo previously on jimmy kimmel live. thank this >> i got it this time. oh my god .
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>> from hollywood, it's jimmy kimmel live tonight. terry bradshaw and howie long. >> ronnie chan and rashad jennings. >> plus, music from brothers osborne with cleto and the cletones. >> and now, jimmy kimmel jimmy, i'm the host of this show . thank you for watching at home . and thanks for joining us. please relax. >> i got to tell you, it's not a great night to be in a crowd. we're getting hit pretty hard by covid here at the show. three of the five members of our band, the cletones, are out sick tonight. we and i said it once, i've said it a hundred times. you shouldn't be sharing one trombone. you should each have your own. our bandleader cleto,
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our drummer jonathan, our bass player, ronda, are all out with covid. i guess what, you guys weren't invited to the orgy or what? the great jimmy earl and kevin stevens are filling in. welcome back, jimmy. >> how are you? we say hello to the paxlovid five, everybody, and. i also would like welcome those of you who are still conscious after the monday night football game. >> you know, the big story in the nfl this weekend, big story every weekend is did taylor swift go to the chiefs game and why? sure enough, she did show up in kansas city yesterday to cheer on travis kelce and also to reveal her new secret handshake with brittany mahomes. patrick mahomes wife, which i have to say is a bummer for us because that's our secret handshake. yeah, right. it's.
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>> yeah, i guess it works because travis kelce had his best game of the season yesterday. >> he finished with a touchdown. 12 catches 179 yards and 35 friendship bracelets. so what a haul. and then today, the world was treated to a photo of taylor kissing travis on the cheek. and surprisingly, her fans are being very levelheaded about it. the reaction was muted. just killed myself. reasonable height difference. i am screaming. and why wouldn't you be in my pants while screaming, crying and sobbing on the floor? of course, a perfectly normal reaction to a kiss on the cheek. i wonder if travis kelce knows that he ever tries to end this relationship. he's dead. he's. they'll kill him. it's the dating equivalent of asking the mafia to go in on a restaurant with you in less important news, we still don't have a speaker of the house, and it isn't likely they will elect
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one soon. there are now eight candidate s for speaker, seven white men and one black man, or as republicans call it, a very diverse slate of choices. it's like a the reunion of a college basketball team from 1955. you know, the reason they're in this mess is because matt gaetz and company ousted the speaker, kevin mccarthy. and then they found another guy, steve scalise. they voted. he couldn't get votes. then they went to the next guy, jim jordan. he wrestled his way in there. he couldn't get the votes, even though according to his fellow republicans, jim jordan is a super duper popular guy after, you know who he might even be, the second most popular guy in the party. >> what we need to do is elect jim jordan, who is the second most popular republican in the country, the second most popular republican is jim jordan, the second most popular republican in our conference, the second most popular republican in the country, the second most popular republican in the united states of america. >> the number two most popular republican in the entire country, arguably the most
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popular republican in the republican party. >> he is the most popular republican in the country. >> jim jordan is arguably one of the most republican popular republicans in us history, the most popular republican in the united states congress was just knifed by a secret ballot in a private meeting in the basement of the capitol. >> wow. that is tough. i mean, what do you do when your second most popular guy isn't popular? i mean, i guess you have to go back to the first most popular, not popular guy, donald trump challenged the election. >> so let's put him in jail for the rest of his life. okay. even though it was a crooked election, if you want to challenge the result of an election when they hound you, look what happened this weekend with two good people. they hound them and they scare them and they. but we don't get scared. we don't get scared. i'll tell you what. i don't mind being nelson mandela. >> more like nelson mandela.
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caterson i think. but trump is in new hampshire today rallying the stoops. you know, there's a war going on. a terrible war. one of our closest allies was vicious, attacked and there are videos now of journalists saw today that show how unbelievably vicious the hamas attack was. and what's donny dum dum talking about this? >> remember when biden i'd like to take him to the back of the barn. i dream of that. you know what i do with him? oh, i do it. i'd hit him right in that fake nose. that fake nose. they'd have plastic lying all over the floor because he went from fake news to fake nose. >> now, later, joe biden has a fake nose. i know he has wooden teeth. i don't think i think the nose is real. by the way, how about that punching poof, poof.
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on thursday, one of the top election denying nuts on trump's legal team. sidney powell pled guilty to six charges, including plotting to gain illegal access to voting machines. powell was at that now infamous meeting on december in december of 2020 at the white house, spreading these banana headed conspiracy theories that trump found so delightful. he almost appointed her special counsel to investigate this imaginary voter fraud until the other lawyers talked him out of it. and you're not going to believe this, but trump is now distancing himself from sidney powell. he wrote, despite the fake news reports, the contrary, and without even reaching out to ask the trump campaign, ms. powell was not my attorney and never was the old. i didn't even know her defense back works every time except for the fact that trump himself tweeted in 2020, rudy giuliani, blah, blah, blah. sidney powell and jenna ellis, a truly great team, added to our other wonderful lawyers and representatives we know she was on his legal team. she was right
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there standing next to rudy on the day he had sideburn diarrhea . okay she was trump's lawyer. meanwhile trump's former vice president at the white shadow, mike pence, is having a tough run. he might not even make the cut for the republican debate next month. >> mr. vice president, if you don't qualify for this next debate, will you drop out of the race? >> well, we're working really hard to qualify for the debate and it's going to be down in miami and lots of people are going to mike pence, 2020 4.com. and making a contribution to give us the numbers in contributions that we need to qualify. >> are they though. i feel like they're not i feel like nobody's on that website at all. not only is the pence campaign in debt, mike's having trouble getting people to even show up at his events. when i'm about to show you is what i believe to be the saddest photo show in presidential campaign history. this is a mike pence event at a
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drug store in sydney, iowa. now this is i want you to look at this really closely because there are more multivitamins than people in this photograph. i mean, look at all the major side effects are represented here. you've got drowsiness. you've got thoughts of suicide and difficulty urinating problems, operating heavy machinery. three headache see the irritable bility. and of course, you have erectile dysfunction right there. but it's heartbreaking. it's really there are four there are four empty chairs. it's like they were hoping 20 people would show up and they only got 14. oh, man, it's the guy. this guy is so bored. he's he's staring at the cough drops on the shelf.
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the energy in this photograph, it doesn't say we're here because we're excited. the vice president is in our town. the energy says we were promised donuts and where are the donuts. speaking of embarrassing, this was going on around the internet last week. i don't know if you saw this. this is a clip from the nfl edition of celebrity wheel of fortune. the contestants were marcellus wiley, jared allen and former running back and dancing star rashad jennings, who had a little bit of trouble getting into the end zone. >> there are six ends which should help you out. let him come up. >> well, that's that's right. that's okay. >> okay. now now, you know what? >> this is bad, right? why don't i know that letter? i don't. i don't know. >> i don't know. i wish i could help. i really do. but if you can buy some time by spinning the wheel, i'm gonna spin it. >> chuck austin, 600 p no, no,
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no. >> i'm sorry. >> it's the great director, quentin tarantino. >> it's hard to fathom when you're sitting watching at home how something like that happens. so we thought we might go directly to the source to find out. so please welcome the most unfortunate wheel of fortune contestant for 2023, rashad jennings. rashad. coming. >> i appreciate it. and sean, i got to tell you, i've been thinking about you all weekend and what must have been going. >> what happened exactly? be there. >> well, what happened was i was wrong. i had i had one of the things we like to call a brain fart. and it happened at the most inopportune time, but i had a good time. it was for charity. it was a good call. >> had you heard of quentin tarantino? >> no, i have. i love his movies. >> oh, you've seen his movies? >> yes. i'm not oblivious to
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him. okay. but why when that happen, the not having the first letter, i was just like, uh, brain fart. and as soon as it popped up, i knew. >> yeah, well, we all knew once it popped up. yeah well, yeah, it was the only letter, but it was a good time. >> it was a good time. >> well, we thought it would be right to give you a chance to redeem yourself here. and give me another. so we have some puzzles on the wall, and each one's missing a letter. and are you ready to do this? i'm nervous, guillermo. come on in. guillermo you are our wheel spinner. this is a >> wow. great that's so was like everybody's favorite aunt at a wedding. >> all right. let's look at our first puzzle on the wall. the category is movies, titles, movie titles. rashad all right. >> am i think it's a g.
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>> is it a g? it >> it's yes. all right. next one category is snack book. >> that's tough. that's tough, jimmy. but i do love some milk and cookies. i'm gonna go with an m, it is milk and cookies. >> that is exactly right. >> we also would have accepted milk and cookies. no, we wouldn't have. all right. okay. next puzzle. all right. okay. this is you got to get two letters here, but they're the same letter. all right. tv shows the category is there a k? >> is there a k? >> is there a k? >> vanna. >> all right. i think you've
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proved your point. and show congratulations. >> we do have some gifts for you . okay? yes. would you mind? yes. bringing us. if you redeemed yourself, you solved all the puzzles and you've won the grand prize, which is a box set of every quentin tarantino movie. wow. the wheel of fortune board game and a crossword puzzle book with almost all the letters already filled in. all right, that's for you. >> congratulations. thank you very much. >> so, jimmy, it's a pleasure being on this show with you, man. you actually i'm humbled to meet you because when i was on dancing with the stars, you had guests that i was going to win. yeah. before oh, that's right. one, i want to say thank you so much. hey, thanks. >> i'm glad you won once. there you go. >> one time. and i got a free shot. danny, everybody. don't you have a podcast? rashawn? i do. >> i do. i'm starting a podcast just because we make mistakes, but i always land on my feet right. okay. one of the things
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about this podcast, putin excuse me, the quentin tarantino. >> no, putin is the leader of russia. yeah, yeah. >> let me let me see. >> he's not the guy that you're looking for. >> yet another mistake. but seriously, on my podcast, we have fun and talk about mistakes that people have in life and how they land back. good. all right. >> so you actually have parlayed this on youtube. all right. very good. check it out. jenny everybody have a good show. >> ronny chang is here. >> the brothers osborne are here. we'll be right back with terry bradshaw and howie long. abc jimmy kimmel live brought to you by allstate. >> some people just know there's a podcast about that. those are the people who know to choose allstate. >> big tea drinker. yeah, there's a podcast about tea. >> he knows and he wants you to know too. >> i was listening to a podcast on if dogs know their dogs. >> there's a podcast about that, just like he'd want you to know about allstate. >> there's a podcast about fly
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on abc and stream on hulu there. welcome back to the show tonight. >> he is the senior correspondent on the daily show. you can see him live on the love to hate it tour. ronnie chang is with us and then later, is their new self-titled album, music from brothers osborne. hey, we got new shows this week with tiffany haddish, meg ryan, david duchovny, eric andre, jeff ross, joe walsh, olivia rodrigo and tate mcrae too. so please join us for all that. our first guest tonight have been on fox together for almost as long as homer and marge. they have a whole handful of super bowl rings and are celebrating 30 seasons of fox nfl sunday.
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please welcome hall of famers terry bradshaw and howie long. was already hurting people. >> terry, you're too strong. >> you don't realize how strong you are. you i know you're being friendly. you love you're like an orangutan. you hit me in the head and i was like, dude, like, it's heavy. you're looking. yeah, he's heavy. hand. let me ask you a question before you get into your notes that you have right there. put those aside. >> show's not doing well, evidently, because you're dressed in black. are you doing a funeral afterwards? i mean, what are you doing? >> a child's magic show after aids. i mean, what what are you wearing? >> you've got a yeah. >> so you thought you were this
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funny when you were with us. >> so we actually ran. >> you did a skit of terry. >> i saw that we're going to show that a little later. yeah i thought i enjoyed seeing that. i really i loved were. i know you guys hated me when i was there, but i loved working with you guys for me, too. strong word. but it is. i do want to start off seriously and say that it is remarkable that you guys have been doing this for 30 years. you were number one the day you started and you're still number 130 years later, consist lee the whole time. and i know many people have come after you guys it it's special. >> it really is. you're 20 years on this show so you know what is that how many years you've been here? >> 20. >> almost 21. yeah it's been a long time. yeah. >> time flies, doesn't it? >> yeah. i mean, you guys and you've been the nucleus of this show. you guys have been there since the beginning. really? together >> i actually auditioned. i was hired first. right and then brought in to put the show
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together. the david hill wanted. and this was the first guy i auditioned. i brought i flew out. howie came on with a stack of notes, which is only howie would do because he's so well prepared. >> howie is well prepared. >> and that did not go well for type of show that david hill wanted to work. >> you know, as a player, you never watch the shows at that time. i never watched a pre game show. you're getting ready. i thought, well you know, this is the kind of show they're going to do. and no one told you the kind of show and what they were looking to do is something totally different. i spoke to the commissioner, five coaches. i'd watched five games. you know, i had this much. meanwhile, terry can't even read ten. >> hey, is that not true? >> i got my ged. come on, man. all right. my man. >> trust me, he's. he's road that jed clampett, beverly hillbillies thing all the way to the bank. >> hey, what you folks don't realize kimmel's a big star. >> oh, no, no, no, no >> six, the hosted the academy
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awards. and when we knew him. you gotta be kidding. he was in the back seat of our just goes to show we would tell him shut up. >> it just goes it just goes to show you be careful how you treat people. i mean that guy with the electric mower, he could be hosting the grammys in five years. hey where is that guy? >> yeah. >> i love you. >> yeah, he might well be. who knows? yeah. there he is. >> there's jim. yeah uncle jimmy . >> now that jim's a tv star, do you feel differently about him? i think the answer is no. yeah but let's get back to you guys, because it is a very special relationship you have. when i was working there, you guys shared a dressing room. do you still share a dressing room? they split us up to go, oh, they split up because of cover. yeah. all right. but you never, like said, hey, i want my own dressing room. i've been here ten years. >> no, i like we. >> we enjoy feeling's mutual.
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yeah, i saw things in that room that nobody should see. >> it's nice knowing that as you strip down, you got to worry about anybody bothering you, you know, because you got the big guy there. >> he's attracted all the attention. >> yeah, we've been together a long, long time. i mean, you know, my boys were nine, five and four when i first got there. and two of them ended up playing in the nfl. and terry and i covered one in the super bowl, and we nfc championship game. you have great sons, too. >> they're they're really good guys. >> they take after their mama. yeah >> no, they take after both parents but do they think of terry are you like an uncle to them? are you. >> he is as i was when they were younger. >> i mean, they got kids now except for little howie who just recently got married. he just got married. but the other two. yeah. you john candy and uncle buck. >> think think uncle buck with a shreveport accent. and a great
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story is we were doing a bowl game down in louisiana. yeah, yeah. notre dame lsu. and i'm up in the room, you know, studying, doing what i do and studying and low and behold, i get a call from the bar. yeah. terry's guy, jeff, and he says, look, you've got to come down here, you know, there's trouble. and i said, you know, not only is there trouble, but my kids are in the bar and he's feeding them beers. >> how old are the boys at this time? >> their boys are teenagers. yeah yeah, they're teenagers. and it's not a eight and nine. >> it's not a level. i did that for you. >> it's not a level three offense, but yeah, so it turns out the guy guy in the bar had said to terry, you know, who's the best quarterback in louisiana? and he said, well, who? he said, bert jones. and he said, with a little more graphic language. and terry goes up and hugs him and takes a little nibble out of his ear. big nibble. yeah big nibble. so here i am. i'm walking in, thankfully
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, the guy, i think it was a walk on at lsu or something and you know, he was kind of wasn't a civil person. so we could kind of you bite him and it would be okay, brush it under the rug. >> yeah, right. >> hey, he deserved it. and i said, what are you doing? >> giving the kids beers? yeah right. >> and biting people around the children. >> by the way, the funny thing about that, that's the first time howie had ever broadcasted a football game from the booth. yeah, so we're up there in howie. >> it was funny. totally prepared. >> and i am to look, i do my work. and so we're up there and david hill, the chairman of the board of fox sports, is there, and ed gordon, who's the head of talent, and howie are in the booth and, howie, we figured it out. howie has never done a game. so how will you do defense and i'll do offense. we'll get out of the sugar bowl here and we're going to be great. so howie, does defense i'm offense in the first half goes by we look at each other oh, high five, man. that's great. you did great, howie. oh, man. yeah, it was fabulous. and comes there. ed gordon, head of broadcasting
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teams. you got to be kidding me. that is the worst. i have ever heard in my life. and he used language that you really don't want to use. and i'm over there going, look, i've done this before. it wasn't that bad. but that's ed gordon. you just let him. he chews our out. so i'm like, how is how he's sensitive, how he goes, wow, are we that we're in trouble? are we in trouble? i said it wasn't that bad, big guy. it wasn't that bad . it comes. david hill, chairman of the board, ed gordon's boss. fantastic you guys are great. fantastic you guys are amazing. we. i told. >> i tell howie, let's go with that. >> that's what you got to do. yeah, i'm going with the big guy. >> jerry bradshaw and howie long are here from fox nfl sunday. we'll be right back. >> portions of jimmy kimmel live
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>> got a prize? >> me or go by the name of daryl. so i'm going to go with dee that your final answer? >> yes siree, it is. >> oh, i'm sorry, terry, but the correct answer is b, paris. >> aw, shucks. what in tarnation, who is writing these questions, alfred
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einstein? >> jimmy: alfred einstein. >> gronk says is that terry? [ laughter ] >> that's the late regis philbin and the late jimmy kimmel. you guys are going to be on his show. he pioneered the company here. >> i was going to be on his show. i'm not going now. >> jimmy: well, thank you for changing your mind. by the way, you're wearing the same suit you were wearing yesterday on the show. >> yeah, i am. i'm not ashamed. this is a nice suit. it cost $500, and i'm going to wear it ten times whether you like it or not and get my money's worth. you got a problem with it, let me know this is a nice suit. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: the suit's fine, yeah. what a thrill, though, for you to have somebody like gronk on the show to make you appear like the wise elder statesman. i mean, really. he thought that was you for real?
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that's insane. >> i can't explain that one. >> that's just wrong. that's wrong what you're doing right now. >> gronk's great. >> jimmy: oh, see a lot of fun for sure. >> he really is. >> jimmy: i don't think terry an gronk can co-exist, you know what i'm saying? >> of course we can. >> nasa calls once a week. >> jimmy: you guys have been all over the country, all over the world. you go on these trips. you go to military bases, et cetera. >> over the years, we've been everywhere. >> jimmy: everywhere. and gronk can't go on those with you. it's too much crazy. he must be, what is it like baby-sitting terry on one of these trips? >> well, we've been on so many of them. we've been aircraft carriers. >> i don't know why they stick us together. >> they always bunk us up. he is in the top bunk. and you don't really know what that looks like until you're in it. and there is a little tv in the corner. it's a 6 by 9. >> yeah, yeah. >> it is a bunk bed. he said i want the top bunk. okay. you want the top bunk, great.
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so unbeknownst to me, he is watching black and white movies all night on this one tv that has a vhs in it. and he puts a vhs in, he starts to climb up, and he's got your dad's tighty-whitey bvds. that image is seared in my head. >> hey why are you staring now? why you staring? there must be -- [ applause ] >> there must be more to this than i know. >> the other is we were on a c-17 headed over the afghanistan. and they've got these crates that are four feet tall, seven feet, eight feet long. and we don't know what's in the crates, and we don't know know why they're in there. here we are in the back of the plane. we got on the back of the plane purposely and are sitting next to each other, very back. >> very back. >> the back of the plane opens up. we're over afghanistan. the whole back of the plane opens up, and all of the sudden
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this hand comes over. he's holding my hand. he's in a kevlar helmet and a kevlar vest. why are we in kevlar helmets and vests? snipers. no one told us this before the flight. and now they're going to shoot these things out of the back of the plane. he is holding my hand. michael is looking over at us like there is something wrong with these two. who couldn't be any more different. >> didn't you guys go to the vatican once? >> we did. >> the vatican. if you have not been to the vatican, you can't -- hey, young man that mows that lady's garden, look, you can't take the train, all right. the train won't get you to the vatican, if you know what i'm saying. >> so we fly to rome. >> yeah we fly to rome. i've never been to rome now. >> if we're in rome, before we take the van down to south to hop on the chopper to go out to the mediterranean on the uss harry s. truman, we've got see
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st. peters and we've got to see the coliseum. terry says all right. we'll go see st. peters. we're in line. he's got his hat on. >> i'm not catholic. >> yeah, the whole guilt thing. you got all that it's built in. so we're in line. and we get close to the door, look, you got to take your hat off. he says okay, guy tot take my hat off. take my hat off. we get into the building in st. peters. and i look up. >> he wasn't even there. >> seriously you go see him, dude didn't even show up. >> jimmy: the pope you mean? >> st. peter. >> jimmy: oh, st. peter. >> i'm looking at the room. i'm look at the room. >> come on, work with me! [ laughter ] >> it's like trumpets are playing in your head. it's the most magnificent. >> it was. >> and all of the sudden i hear water splashing behind me. he is playing with the holy water. [ laughter ] >> washing my hands. >> i said terry. >> i'm going into a holy place. i thought it was to wash your hands.
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>> the guy up front with the uzi is part of the vatican's private police. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> hey, someone clue me in before these things. i wouldn't do it. >> look at this, this man for all his tomfoolery has a statue, a statue that was erected. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: at louisiana tech. >> hey, you never thought i'd have a stat you. >> jimmy: that's pretty good, terry. i have to say. >> peyton manning is not the only quarterback that has a statue. >> jimmy: did you pose for this sta statue? this is an old pose. >> it's a college photo. >> jimmy: the hair. >> i'm 21 years old there. >> jimmy: wow. >> my brother, gary, took that picture. >> how great is that? >> and i never had a football picture. and so i just got drafted by the steelers, and i need people wanting pictures. [ cheering ] so i -- i asked my brother who
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is a good photographer, hey, will you take a picture of me in the football uniform? i went and got the uniform, put it on. there is this guy, i call him gaddis, a mark here, mark there, one two, three, and he would take the picture. and he had you all set up for that. all i did is going out there, kick my left leg up, put my arm up. my brother goes click, and that's the picture. >> jimmy: nice! your brother took the picture. >> i had to call and tell him. he didn't know anything about that. >> jimmy: how cool is that. it's great to you guys here. >> we love seeing you. >> every five years works for howie. it won't work for me because i'll be 80 in five years. >> jimmy: i have a feeling you're going to be just fine. >> you think so? >> jimmy: yes. i really do. i think you're going to be 112 and still on this show. fox nfl sunday, every week, 12 noon eastern on fox. terry bradshaw and howie long, everybody! we'll be back with ronny chieng. if your moderate to severe crohn's disease
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♪ brothers osborne is coming up. our next guest is senior correspondent on the "the daily show," and you can see him live, tickets for his "love to hate it tour" go on tour tomorrow. please welcome ronny chieng! [ cheering ] ♪ >> jimmy: how's it going? >> it's good. >> jimmy: ronny, do you have your own face your honor socks? >> yeah, i got my face on my socks. >> jimmy: wow, you're not kidding around. that's something. are those available? or is that the only pair? >> it can be any asian you want. but this is technically me. my in-laws make socks in australia. >> jimmy: is that right? >> so this is my in-law's family's business. >> jimmy: you married into a
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sock family? wow. >> all the socks are made in australia by happy human adults. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you take the night off from "the daily show" tonight? >> yeah. i quit the job to come and be on this show. >> jimmy: oh, thank you, thank you. turkey, come and visit. i really appreciate. >> jimmy: we had a lot of fun last time you were here. last time, i don't know if you remember, this you had just gone to singapore for i think 48 hours just to visit your mom. you went -- and singapore is very, very far away. >> yep. >> jimmy: and your mother refused to take two days off while you were there from her job. >> yeah, she wouldn't. it was the pandemic and singapore just opened back up. >> went to go see her. i had two days. i went there for two days. and she kept working through the two days. so i didn't even get to see her. >> jimmy: i hope she at least got employee of the month or something like that for that. >> they love her. she is indispensable. i got to see her again recently. >> jimmy: how is she doing? >> she had a little bit of a health issue, but she is doing
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okay, luckily, because thank goodness. singapore has a great health care system. they have the best doctors. shout out to the singapore doctors, my mom. singapore is -- singapore is technically a blue zone. >> jimmy: it is? >> that's what they call places where it's really, really hard to die. you have to try really hard to die there. it's almost impossible. the only way you can die in singapore is if you bring drugs into the country, then the government will kill you. but the government will keep you alive if you don't bring drugs into the country. i don't know, any agents out there who have troublesome clients they want to get rid of, book them a tour. >> jimmy: do you perform in singapore when you're there? >> yeah, i just did a show. i haven't done a show in singapore in four years. i did a show in singapore last month. i didn't know how it would go, but the tickets sold really well. >> jimmy: great. >> and my mom was really excited. i haven't been back to do -- perform there in so long. and my mom, she is not in show
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business. she basically asked me for 100 comps. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> for the show. oh, you're coming back? i need 100 comp tickets. and i'm like well, this all costs money, you know. yeah, yeah, but it's for everyone i work with. i work so hard, i want to bring all my colleagues there. >> jimmy: 100 people? >> you don't have 100 friends. >> jimmy: right. >> who are these hundred people? and comedy is the thing you want people who want to be there. she was inviting people, they didn't even like me. they didn't want the hear it. and because my mom invited them, they peld felt obligated to go. i gave 100 comps. >> jimmy: you did? >> i did. she is my mom. have to do whatever she asks. all right. now you're going to meet them before the show, right? i'm not meeting 100 strangers before the show. it's not a wedding. it's not a wedding. i'm not greeting people coming in, doing the show. i'm not going to greet them when they leave. like stand-up comedy, the one i
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do is very one-way. i love my audience in the aggregate. >> jimmy: yeah. >> individually, they're terrible. [ laughter ] >> too many dumb questions. >> jimmy: is it possible, i don't know if you've entertained this thought, is it possible your mother is a ticket scalper? >> if she scalped, that means she made money off it. she gave it out. >> jimmy: you didn't catch her driving a new car or anything? >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: over the summer, you threw out the first pitch at the mets game, the new york mets game. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which is an honor. it's something -- you a mets fan? >> i am now. i'm a fan of anyone who lets me throw out the first pitch. and so i get to the stadium, and it's like have you ever thrown a baseball before? i'm like no. and everyone starts getting really worried. you warm up, warm up with the catcher right now. and you don't want to do a 50 cent.
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what does that mean? apparently 50 cent did a first pitch where it went so bad it went all the way to delaware. >> jimmy: it was very bad, yeah. it was a very bad pitch. >> embarrassing. so now i started getting stressed. this is the most natural motion humans know. >> jimmy: pretty good. you look all right. >> but everyone start freaking out. i'm practicing how to throw a ball beforehand like i was warming up to interest game. and i told the mets that i have this torn labrum in my right shoulder from doing martial arts. >> was that a lie? >> no, it's true. so i'm going to throw through the pain here. i got to show up for this team that was nice enough to get me to throw a first pitch in a part of the season that doesn't matter whatsoever. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah yeah. which for the mets is a lot of the season usually. >> right. and so i went out to throw it, and but i made the mets make it clear to everyone watching that i am throwing injured through
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this. >> jimmy: how did they make that clear? >> the announcer. the announcer. >> jimmy: oh, you worked your injury into your -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. well, let's take a look at the video here. >> ronny is pitching with a torn labrum in his right shoulder. so please be careful, ronny. our ceremonial catcher is tim la castro. all right, ronny, it's your pitch. >> jimmy: okay. oh, no! is that real pain? >> that is -- that is all real pain, man. >> jimmy: wow. >> i got to tell [ cheering ] >> jimmy: i think in a way, i'm a mets fan perfectly sums up what it's like to be a part of the mets organization. you go in with high hopes. you also go in with excuses. you suffer a catastrophic injury
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of some kind. but at the end, you're smiling. yeah. >> glad to be part of the team. >> jimmy: well, its great to have you here. ronny chieng, everybody. go see ronny's tour. tickets on sale for "love to hate it" tour. tickets go on sell tomorrow and "the daily show" too. we'll be back with more. if you're like me, one of the millions suffering from pain caused by migraine, nurtec odt may help. it's the only medication that can treat a migraine when it strikes and prevent migraine attacks. treat and prevent, all in one. don't take if allergic to nurtec. allergic reactions can occur, even days after using. most common side effects were nausea, indigestion, and stomach pain. relief is possible. talk to a doctor about nurtec odt. (vo) ultimate endless shrimp is here relief is possible. with a limited time flavor drop. new crispy dragon shrimp.
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>> jimmy: this is their self-titled album. here with the song “goodbyes kickin' in”, brothers osborne! [ cheering and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ the echo of the front door slam drowns out i don't give a damn ♪ ♪ wasn't losin' sleep at all mm heard that song a hundred times ninety-nine, i didn't mind ♪ ♪ but this time it just set me off ♪ ♪ i've been gettin' over you just fine but somehow somethin' must've flipped a switch tonight ♪ ♪ like that first cigarette like that second shot of whiskey ♪ ♪ then chase it with regret yeah the goodbye's kickin' in went from feelin' right ♪ ♪ just the right amount of tipsy to the wishin' you were with me ♪
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♪ yeah the goodbye's kickin' in ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah the goodby?s kickin' in ♪ ♪ i keep lookin' at my phone thinkin' you will but bettin' you won't be the one who breaks down first ♪ ♪ had one too many two drinks ago it just hit me i'm alone ♪ ♪ it's about to go from bad to worse ♪ ♪ burn like that first cigarette like that second shot of whiskey ♪ ♪ then chase it with regret yeah the goodbye's kickin' in ♪ ♪ went from feelin' right just the right amount of tipsy ♪ ♪ to the wishin' you were with me yeah the goodbye's kickin' in ♪
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♪ woah woah oh woah i'm sayin' goodbye sayin' goodbye sayin' goodbye ♪ ♪ i've been getting over you just fine ♪ ♪ but somehow somethin' must've flipped the switch tonight ♪ ♪ like that first cigarette like that second shot of whiskey ♪ ♪ then chase it with regret yeah the goodbye's kickin' in went from feelin' right ♪ ♪ just the right amount of tipsy to the wishin' you were with me ♪ ♪ yeah the goodbye's kickin' in ♪ ♪ yeah, the goodbye's kicking in ♪
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♪ [ cheering and applause ]
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>> jimmy: thanks to terry bradshaw, howie long, ronny cheing, rashad jennings and brothers osborne. that was fun. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. nightline is next, thank you for watching, goodnight. this is "nightline." >> tonight, hostages released. two israeli women set free just hours ago. hamas video of the handover. what could this

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