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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 4, 2024 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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time. jimmy kimmel is next >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- selena gomez. and ebon moss-bachrach. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. thank you very much.
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guillermo. thank you. hi, there. very nice, thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching on this friday. thank you for joining us on a night of scientific triumph. after more than 50 years, i don't know if you heard, we're back on the moon. the spacecraft odysseus, or "odie" as its friends call it, is the first vehicle launched from the united states to land on the moon since 1972. which is a big deal. this is basically the space equivalent of bell bottoms coming back. [ laughter ] odysseus is also the first commercial spacecraft to land on the moon. its mission was to deliver camera and radio equipment for nasa. nasa posted this today -- "your order was delivered -- to the moon!" [ laughter ] at long last, humanity has finally begun amazon-garbaging the surface of the moon. [ laughter ] congratulations, everybody. meanwhile, history is being made back here on earth too. kfc has unveiled their latest culinary monstrosity.
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it is a pizza made out of fried chicken. [ laughter ] called the "chizza." i know there are meetings, but there's no way the person who came up with this was not high, right? [ laughter ] i mean, this is the sharknado of food, the chizza. at a certain point kfc should just start packing a gun in its buckets if they're trying to kill its customers. the chizza is not on the vatican's approved list of foods for fridays during lent. you know that, right? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: many catholics eat fish on fridays during lent. or did i make you? i'm sorry. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: no, no, i'm okay, yeah. i was confused with the pizza. >> jimmy: okay, all right. but over the years, the church has started to loosen up on what specifically that means. when i was growing up, we never -- we would have fish or nothing, really, on fridays. in parts of south america now, the friday lent menu has been updated to include beavers, muskrats, and capybara. [ laughter ] apparently, the restriction isn't about cows or chickens
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versus fish. it's about land animals versus water animals. and these animals that i mentioned mostly live in the water. the capybara is a rodent. not only is it a rodent, it's a rodent with a theme song. ♪ capybara ♪ ♪ capybara capybara capybara capybara ♪ ♪ capybara ♪ ♪ capybara capybara capybara capybara ♪ >> jimmy: yeah. and now you can sing along while you eat them on fridays and jesus gives it a big thumbs-up. [ laughter ] they're even serving these newly cleared creatures at a popular fast food seafood place. >> where can you find lent-friendly meals for the whole family? right here at long john silver's. we've got dozens of delicious options that pope francis would flip for. dig into a hot and juicy beer-battered capybara. chewy deep fried muskrat tail. wet and furry boiled beaver. fresh from the everglades, gator-tots. why not have it all?
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a muskrat stuffed into a beaver crammed into a capybara, all wrapped up inside a florida favorite. whoo hee. enjoying your meal? >> as you can see, i hated my muskrat. >> let's just get lit at long john silver's. >> and don't forget a teaming beam of beaver penis. mm, that's good eating. >> make every friday a good friday. >> yum! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bringing everyone up to date -- gays can get married. masturbation still a sin. life begins at conception. and it's okay to eat an otter on friday night, all right? [ laughter ] in florida, where the capybara run wild, the state senate just passed a bill that would ban all social media for children under 16. it will soon be illegal for florida kids to go on tiktok, snapchat, or instagram. still legal in florida -- everything else. [ laughter ] the bill was sponsored by state
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senator erin grall. who is obviously someone who got bullied by teenagers online. [ laughter ] she introduced this. how they plan to enforce it, i do not know. these kids are going to go nuts. imagine not being allowed on tiktok until you're 16? does this mean at 15 you can get a twerker's permit? how does it work? [ laughter ] maybe it's a good idea. we should probably all be banned from social media, especially marjorie taylor greene. [ laughter ] this is a beauty. yesterday she wrote, "this might be an unpopular opinion and could hurt some feelings. there are many conservative christian women who are influencers or leaders that are selling themselves short and not being good role models by conforming to the world's sexualization of women. if you are conservative and a christian, you know you don't have to express yourself in sexual ways. and you know you are attractive by dressing nice and feminine. and you can be beautiful and modest at the same time. men will respect you more and think of you much more highly than just a sexual object for gratification. it's also good to not tempt your christian brothers and cause them to stumble.
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as conservative christian women, let us always be an example to girls and young women by displaying actions that our faith believes and not conform to the patterns of this fallen world. be the light, don't fall into the darkness." marjorie taylor greene. i think she's just jealous none of the men in town want to take her to see "beetlejuice." i don't know. [ laughter ] i love that the woman who looks like a high school linebacker in a dress is telling other women to be "feminine." [ audience moaning ] and this is good too. an hour before klan mom posted that, she called for the judge that fined donald trump in new york to be "disrobed." [ laughter ] "judge engoron should be disrobed and thrown out." yeah, get him naked and throw him out! [ laughter ] marge is still working hard trying to be trump's running mate. even though he doesn't seem to be interested in that. she even followed him to south carolina today. >> you can hear the excitement here in the crowd. they're cheering, and they're excited to see president come -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes. excited to see president come.
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she learned to speak english from cookie monster. [ laughter ] meanwhile, donald trump has been getting around. he popped into the national religious broadcasters international christian media convention. and i like when he shows up to religious events, because he does such a good job of convincing the crowd he's one of them. >> as you know, the left is trying to shame christians. they try and shame us. us. i'm a very proud christian, actually. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sure you are. i mean -- can't get that guy out of church. [ laughter ] people don't know. the "j" in donald j. trump stands for jesus. [ laughter ] meanwhile, the clock is ticking on that $454 million trump owes the state of new york. yesterday, the judge rejected trump's request to delay the appeals process. he wrote, "you have failed to explain, much less justify, any basis for a stay." which is exactly what trump says
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every time don jr. wants to visit mar-a-lago. [ laughter ] to hear trump tell it, our economy is a mess. and a lot of people believe that, even though it isn't true. the stock markets had their best day in over a year yesterday, and today, the dow hit a new all-time record. which makes life very difficult for fox news. they know trump is always watching, like santa claus. so, they have to vacillate between telling us how devastating "bidenomics" is for the economy and simultaneously reporting what is actually going on. >> how far down will the biden regime allow our economy to fall before it breaks the bank on every single american? >> in the meantime, watching something you might have noticed in the corner of your screen, the dow has never been higher than this. that is a new record. >> biden shouldn't be running a victory lap or running for re-election because he's put a bullet in the head of the american dream. >> meanwhile, the u.s. labor market starting this year red-hot. employers adding a surprisingly strong 353,000 jobs last month. >> the economy is in an inflationary nightmare.
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>> 3.3% gpd growth in the fourth quarter. an incredible gangbusters employment number this past friday. inflation has been slashed. >> everything is better under trump. by ever measurement, every barometer. >> the dow closing at another record high, its seventh record of the year. >> he's bringing back bidenomics. of course, he didn't have much to say because there's very little good news on the economy to share -- >> well, there is good news in the economy. inflation has indeed moderated. growth has been strong. the stock market is hitting records. >> it's as if the biden administration burps out statistics, everything's great. >> the economy's not just good, it's great. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i think fox might be bipolar. the whole country might be bipolar. we don't agree on anything anymore. even facts now are a matter of opinion. everything is colored red or blue. we decided to conduct a social experiment. we sent a camera crew to south carolina ahead of the primary there tomorrow.
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we asked people who identified themselves as supporters of donald trump for their take on some of joe biden's more controversial actions and quotes. but what we didn't tell them at first is that what we said wasn't from joe biden, it was actually from donald trump. ♪ >> do you mind if i ask you who you voted for in the last election? >> trump. >> trump. i'm going to guess you voted for trump? >> this is donald trump. >> do you mind if i ask you a few questions about the things biden has done in his administration and you can give me your opinion? >> okay. >> what did you think when joe biden suggested that covid could be cured by shining a bright light inside the body? >> um -- it is very sad that joe biden is clearly a dementia patient. >> supposedly you hit the body with a tremendous -- whether it's ultraviolet or just very powerful light -- >> what do you think about joe biden saying that getting through the '80s without getting hiv was his own personal vietnam?
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>> again, it's very sad, his mental capacity, and that is a very uneducated statement. >> okay. i'm so sorry. these are not -- i got my notes mixed up. can we start over? >> yeah. >> okay. what did you think when donald trump suggested that covid could be cured by shining a bright light into the body? >> it depends what that technology is. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> that's a broad spectrum. because, you know, you have mri machines and ct machines and infrared. >> yeah. >> different things. so it just depends, the context of that. >> what did you think of donald trump saying that getting through the '80s without getting hiv was his own personal vietnam? >> um -- >> dementia patient? [ laughter ] >> no, no, i don't believe that.
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>> there are accusations that joe biden cheated on his wife with a porn star after his son was born, and there's actually a paper trail showing he paid the sex worker $130,000 to keep quiet about it. >> who did that? joe biden. >> joe biden. >> he was making i think less than $100,000 a year at that time. >> that's right. >> as a congressman. i mean, a senator. how does he do that? >> you tell me. would you vote for someone that -- >> of course not. >> okay. so trump did do that. >> trump -- had a fling with stormy daniels. >> and paid her $130,000. >> hush money, yes. >> and you're voting for him? >> i am. [ laughter ] my father had affairs, too, and i still respect him. [ audience moaning ] >> how do you feel about joe biden using bone spurs to dodge the vietnam draft? >> joe biden has a problem. he isn't an american, he isn't a patriot. >> i'm sorry, i said biden, i meant trump. those were things that -- >> trump?
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>> yes, can i ask you the question with the right name? >> yes, you may. >> i'm so sorry. how do you feel about donald trump using his bone spurs to dodge the vietnam draft? >> my brother-in-law had flat feet. [ laughter ] i'm sure you cannot go into a military zone, a vietnam zone, or any of the other zones with bad feet. you just can't do the job. >> i agree. >> it actually impacts the other soldiers. puts them in danger. >> yeah. >> so, no. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, thank you, everyone. first-ever flat-footed flip-flop. chizzas for everybody! we are going to take a break, but when we come back we have something a little bit different. selena gomez will go head-to-head with a superfan to see who knows more about selena gomez. so stick around. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by pet smart. ♪dear anything♪
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ibrance may cause low white blood cell counts that may lead to serious infections. ibrance may cause severe inflammation of the lungs. both of these can lead to death. tell your doctor if you have new or worsening chest pain, cough, or trouble breathing. before taking ibrance, tell your doctor if you have fever, chills, or other signs of infection, liver or kidney problems, are or plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding. for more information about side effects talk to your doctor. thanks, mom. be in your moment. ask your doctor about ibrance. a pfizer product. >> jimmy: hi, there, we're back. ebon moss-bachrach and selena gomez are here. most americans know a little something about selena gomez, but is there a fan out there who knows more about selena gomez than selena gomez herself? it's time to find out. let's find out it's time to play
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"who knows selena gomez?" our first contestant is a college student whose bedroom walls are littered from ceiling to floor with all things selena. she is a superfan among superfans. some might even call her mentally disturbed. please welcome ashley mendoza! hello, ashley, how are you? >> i'm good, and you? >> jimmy: ashley, that's your room in college? >> yes. >> jimmy: when did this fascination with selena gomez begin? >> since childhood, since "wizards of waverly place." i love this. >> jimmy: "wizards of waverly place." and you know a lot about her, personally, professionally, all the stuff? >> yes. >> jimmy: tonight we're going to put your obsession to the ultimate test. your opponent tonight is a 17-time teen choice award winner, did you know that? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: who knows selena gomez very well, because she is her. say hello to selena gomez! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> i love you. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. selena -- we know who you are. you don't have to put that on. [ cheers and applause ] >> sorry about the nametag. >> jimmy: ashley, are you okay? i feel like you're already in tears. >> oh, god. i'm close. i'm close to tears. >> don't worry. >> jimmy: have you ever met selena before? >> yeah, i've waited a few hours at 8:00 a.m. to see you at coach papa. >> oh, really? that's so sweet. i'm so happy. sorry you waited that long. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ashley, i feel selena has softened you up. you have to remember, she may be your all-time favorite but she's also your competition tonight. [ laughter ] okay? here's how the game works. i will ask a series of questions
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about selena gomez. if you know the answer, either of you, buzz in. you answer. a correct answer is worth ten points. if you get it wrong, your opponent gets a chance to steal. whoever has a higher score at the end wins not just a valuable prize, but a valuable prized possession. lou, tell us what our contestants have put on the line tonight. >> lou: if selena gomez wins, she'll walk away with a selena gomez-themed iphone case that ashley spent countless hours making by hand. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you made that by hand, ashley? i hope you don't lose it. and if ashley wins? >> lou: if ashley wins, she'll win all the contents of selena gomez's junk drawer. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. selena's actual junk drawer. there's so much at stake. contestants are you ready? >> i don't know, but let's go for it. >> ready. >> jimmy: all right. it's time to find out "who knows selena gomez?" [ cheers and applause ] >> i don't know anything about myself. >> jimmy: first question.
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what raw men you item is mentioned in selena's new single "love on"? ashley? >> steak tartare. >> jimmy: that's correct. [ cheers and applause ] >> okay, i'm ready. >> jimmy: yeah, you've got to get right in there, selena. ashley knows what she's doing here. ashley, you've got 10 points. the next question, to the nearest million, how many instagram followers does selena have? ashley? >> 429 million? >> jimmy: that is exactly right. [ cheers and applause ] >> i thought it was 418. >> jimmy: i just wonder, before we proceed, no one gave you any of the answers to these questions, right? >> no. >> jimmy: this is in your head? >> yes, 100%. >> jimmy: you're one of the 429 million? >> yes. >> jimmy: you might be 9 million of the 429 million. [ laughter ] all right. >> i'm embarrassed. >> jimmy: ashley's up 20-0. next question. what does selena mean in greek? ashley? >> moon? >> jimmy: that's right. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> what? oh, no. i didn't know that. >> jimmy: that's news to you? >> that's kind of pretty, that's cool. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know, we landed the selena today. [ laughter ] all right. you've got a commanding lead, ashley. selena, get ready. get that buzzer hand going. >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: what was the name of the clothing line selena launched in 2010? selena? >> dream out loud. >> jimmy: that's right, selena! [ cheers and applause ] you're on the board. >> i needed one. >> i had some of those pieces. >> jimmy: okay, next question. who was selena's first on-screen kiss? ashley? >> dylan sprouse. >> jimmy: and in an episode of what show? >> "the sweet life"? >> jimmy: that is correct. [ cheers and applause ] >> it was actually my first kiss ever, really. >> jimmy: do you remember what happened in that episode?
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>> there was a play? >> yes. >> jimmy: is that right? okay, there was a play. [ laughter ] all right. well, ashley. you've got a lot of points. selena, here we go. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: what was the first concert selena attended? selena? >> britney spears. >> jimmy: that is correct, selena, britney spears. [ cheers and applause ] actually, that was a little condescending, giving her a high five. the game is closer, 40-20. next question. selena currently lives in the former home of what legendary rock star? selena? >> tom petty. >> jimmy: tom petty is correct. [ cheers and applause ] now we've got a game here. did you know that, ashley? you didn't know that? do you know who tom petty is? you do not. [ laughter ] >> i'm sorry. >> that's all right. >> jimmy: tom, we want to send our apologies, wherever you are. [ laughter ] next question.
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you could tie this. who was the musical guest on "saturday night live" when selena hosted? ashley? >> post malone. >> oh, that's right. >> jimmy: post malone is right. [ laughter ] >> i don't know anything about myself. >> jimmy: all right. next question. what other name was selena almost given at birth? ashley? >> priscilla? >> jimmy: priscilla is right. [ cheers and applause ] how do you know that, ashley? >> because it was at -- her cousin is named priscilla, and i also have a cousin named priscilla as well. >> jimmy: you guys have so much in common. [ laughter ] >> i don't know. >> jimmy: let's keep going, just for the hell of it, even though this game is out of hand. >> okay. >> jimmy: what is the name of the tattoo artist selena uses? >> oh. >> jimmy: selena? >> bang bang. >> jimmy: that is absolutely correct. [ cheers and applause ]
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oh, perhaps we have a competition here. what is selena's favorite snack chip? >> flaming hot cheetos. >> jimmy: i didn't even finish the question! [ laughter ] that is correct, ashley. >> i don't even know what i was going to say. >> jimmy: how did you -- i didn't even just said, you knew it was going to be snack chip? selena, i don't think i have even enough questions for you to make a comeback here. >> i don't -- this is embarrassing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who lives with selena in her l.a. home? ashley? >> nana and papa? >> jimmy: that's right. [ cheers and applause ] what is selena's little sister, gracie's, middle name? >> elliot. >> jimmy: that's right, selena. >> gracie ellie. >> jimmy: actually, if you knew that one, we were going to have you arrested. [ laughter ] one more question. this is a bonus question. how old is selena's little
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sister? >> 10? >> jimmy: no, i'm sorry. no, yeah, that's right. [ laughter ] but still, we have a winner here. congratulations, ashley. [ cheers and applause ] you know selena gomez better than even selena gomez. you are going home with selena' junk drawer full of all her stuff. selena, would you mind signing that junk drawer? yes, so when the junk is identified, they will know it is from you. thank you, selena. thank you, ashley. well done. you both know -- that's nice. selena and ashley, everybody. we'll be right back to talk to selena gomez! ♪ r summers? when it came to helping people... ...the gecko was born ready. and his parents argued with me; they wanted him to become a doctor. i said, “no, he wants to do insurance and he's good at it.” -oh sure, he's the geico gecko. but, i mean, he's my best friend.
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i see my husband... the father of our girls. i see a public servant. a man who served under secretary clinton
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democrats agree. conservative republican steve garvey is the wrong choice for the senate. ...our republican opponent here on this stage has voted for donald trump twice. mr. garvey, you voted for him twice... as your own man, what is your decision? garvey is wrong for california. but garvey's surging in the polls. fox news says garvey would be a boost to republican control of the senate. stop garvey.
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adam schiff for senate. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back to the show. tonight, you know him as cousin richie from "the bear." ebon moss-bachrach is with us. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we are back to work. we have new shows with with jennifer hudson, eugene levy, theo james, matty matheson, david cross, anna sawai, and david spade. with music from sheryl crow, jenny lewis, dhruv and the kid laroi. so please join us for all that. our first guest is a multi-talented grammy-nominated person who helped to launch the careers of steve martin and martin short. [ laughter ] and she's singing, too. her new single is called "love on." ♪ ♪ ♪ if you think about falling ♪
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♪ keeping you up late so i can't see straight ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "love on" is out now. please welcome selena gomez. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how are you? thanks for doing that, that was fun. i think ashley's pretty excited. she's pretty psyched. >> i know. i don't know myself at all. >> jimmy: did you learn anything new about yourself? >> no, because i felt like i knew it, but -- but i -- kind of blanked, you scared me on my sister, like she's going to be so embarrassed. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> that was mean. >> jimmy: that's what i do, i'm a cruel individual. [ laughter ] but thank you for doing that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you -- congratulations on your single. who was your selena gomez growing up? was there somebody you were kind
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of obsessed with? >> yeah, kurt cobain. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kurt cobain, that was a good one. >> obviously all kinds of music for me growing up. i kind of got obsessed and dyed my hair, cut my hair like him. i know a little too much. >> jimmy: did you have the posters and the -- >> yeah, i would rewatch his interviews, i'd watch his performances, i'd seen his documentary like 12 times. >> wow. i did not know that about you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so "love on" came out yesterday. >> yes. >> jimmy: and your fans have been a little -- there's a zillion views already. they seem to have really latched on to this steak tartare thing. may i read the line here? >> sure. >> jimmy: "why are we conversing over the steak tartare when we could be somewhere making out in the back of a car." [ applause ] does that mean you love steak tartare? or maybe don't like it that much? >> i actually hate steak tartare.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you hate steak tartare. >> it just sang so well. >> jimmy: it rhymed perfectly. >> tuna tartare, that would sound weird. >> jimmy: tuna tartare, yeah, a little weirder. there's a fish smell when you're making out in the car. [ laughter ] do you remember -- >> well, i definitely give julia michaels credit for that one. >> reporter: the first time you ever heard one of your songs on the radio, do you have a memory of that? >> yeah, it was a song i did called "naturally." and i remember -- [ cheers and applause ] it went number one on the club charts that i wasn't even allowed to get into a club when it came out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you in the kids' club, yeah. you heard it where? >> i was in my dad's like -- i think it was a honda at the time. we were just listening to kiss fm. >> jimmy: do you ever have a moment of excitement that much excitement, anymore in your life? or did it peak right there? [ laughter ] >> no, no.
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>> jimmy: no, right? >> god, no, life's awesome, it's been great. >> jimmy: okay. maybe i'm just projecting. >> a little bit. [ laughter ] we can talk about that later. >> jimmy: "only murders in the building." [ cheers and applause ] you just got picked up for a fourth season of the show, i know. i enjoy not only your on-screen dynamic with steve martin and martin short but also the off-screen dynamic is entertaining as well. >> very. >> jimmy: you love those guys, right? >> i do, i do. because our dynamic is actually very truthful in a way. they just -- they're hilarious. everything i do with them is -- is just a fun experience. >> jimmy: so you really -- when you started working with them, you didn't know -- you didn't go back to sctv or -- >> "saturday night live," i watched it all. >> jimmy: you watched it owl all now. do you talk about it with them? >> yeah, they tell me the craziest stories about just how different, you know, life was back then. and it seemed a lot less chaotic than it is now.
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>> jimmy: than it is now. natalie portman was here a few week is ago. she told me she nearly attacked martin short at the golden globes. did you witness that? >> i did. >> jimmy: you did. >> basically, marty took a picture with natalie portman, then he turns around and he goes, "that was a lovely girl." [ laughter ] and i go -- i was like," that was natalie portman." he goes, "oh, she's fantastic, where did she go?" they're -- just their sweetness and their innocence, it's just so pure. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you do that for steve too? >> steve and i are on the same page. when we go to events, queer kind of like "20 more minutes left." he's relieved. >> jimmy: does steve recognize everybody? do you have to tell him who everyone is? >> i remember one time, you know, i was telling him about a song and he said, "what's a dua lipa?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: may i ask, how do you answer that question? what is a dua lipa?
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>> i said, "well, an icon." >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> basically. >> jimmy: is there anybody when you go to a show like that, somebody that you met that oh my god, for me this is somebody exciting to meet? >> yeah, this is kind of embarrassing. at the emmys -- every night -- this is such a weird -- every night i fall asleep to the same show. and it will be either be "friends" or something comfy, but lately "how i met your mother." i fall asleep every night watching the show and i'm a fan. jason segal happened to be at the emmys. he looked at me and he started waving. and i was like -- oh, likely! [ laughter ] i slowly realized he was waving to someone behind me. and i went -- i was like -- oh, gosh. and he felt awkward and inclined to then come over, and then my boyfriend goes, "she falls asleep to you every night." [ laughter ] i'm like, that's weird. but i do.
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>> jimmy: just being honest, i guess. they announced "wizards of waverly place" reboot. [ cheers and applause ] will you be involved in that? >> yeah, it's -- it's going to be really fun. i was excited to bring the characters back. it's not a reboot, it's going to be a different version, i guess. so i'm excited for you guys. >> jimmy: will there be wizards in it? >> well, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. i didn't know how different it would be. >> i am the family wizard. >> jimmy: we talked about how many instagram followers you have. i added it up. i think it's like three times more than watched the super bowl. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's a lot of power to have in your telephone. it's a dangerous amount the power. >> yeah, but i feel like that's not real. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what part of it is not real? >> i don't know, like that's such a big number. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a really big number. it's hard to wrap your head around. >> no, i don't think it's -- i don't know. i have my theories.
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>> jimmy: the reason i bring it up is because there's a brother and sister here, and the brother is a third grade special needs teacher in the bronx. he was telling me that his students love you, and they will never believe that he was here with you. so, i mean, i know you got -- i think one way to prove that you were here and he was here is if he was on instagram with you. [ laughter ] in some way. >> okay. >> jimmy: would that be possible? >> yeah, for sure. >> jimmy: okay. brother and sister, come on down. [ cheers and applause ] >> where do they sit? >> jimmy: they'll just stand up. >> okay. >> jimmy: i'll take the picture, actually. >> how are you? hold this for a second. that's good, that's good. >> jimmy: ashley, don't get jealous. [ laughter ] >> i'm going to be so nervous. i listened to you the day i went through my first breakup, and it really got me through that. >> jimmy: we're on television. [ laughter ] get in that picture right there.
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all right, put that mic down. it looks too weird. it looks like you're hosting a karaoke show. i'm going to take a few pictures. there, that should be proof, right? >> inspiration to me always, my entire life. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. appreciate you. thank you. >> jimmy: nice to meet you too. thank you. well, that's a very -- look at that. look how many people you've made happy tonight. it really is -- >> that's the best feeling. >> jimmy: that's maybe even better than hearing your song on the radio, right? >> it actually is. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. tell steve and marty i said hello. >> i will. i will definitely do that. >> jimmy: selena gomez, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "love on" is the song. we'll be back with ebon moss-bachrach. ♪ plthat the best rate for you is a rate based on you, with allstate. because you know that just because it fits in the cupholder doesn't make it 'to-go'. and you know how to brake, without breaking everything.
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completing the mission, and making sure his marines came home. and we all did. pete's always fought for what he believes in, and i know he'll do the same in congress for affordable housing, the rights of women, and the democracy he swore to protect. because helping people who need it has always been pete's mission. and i know he'll get it done. next generation veteran fund is responsible for the content of this ad. ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. our next guest won an emmy for playing cousin richie on the best tv show about a restaurant since "alice." it is called "the bear." you can see it on hulu now. please welcome ebon moss-bachrach. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how are you? >> good, good. >> jimmy: thanks for coming. you came in from chicago? >> yep, yep. >> jimmy: shooting the third season right now? >> yep, just starting up, yep. >> jimmy: have you read the whole thing? do you know what's happening? >> um -- yeah, i've read the whole thing. it's just, yeah, the restaurant works and it's peaceful. [ laughter ] it's just kind of like ten hours of just, you know, a well-functioning restaurant. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i accosted you at the emmys. and i would imagine you get that a lot. though i am a very big fan. i think you're a great actor and i love the show. >> thanks, man, thanks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i was very happy to see you there at the emmys. >> i'm glad you're saying accosted -- i felt like i acompaniesed you. >> jimmy: no, not true. i made a beeline for you, as you might recall.
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you didn't accost me. i don't get accosted. [ laughter ] >> we were talking -- talking a little brooklyn stuff, right? i was asked -- if i tell you that i got jabbed in mill basin? >> jimmy: yes, you did tell me that. yeah, you got your covid shot in mill basin, yeah. >> at the caribe country club? >> jimmy: that i don't know. we weren't -- our family, we weren't in the country club. >> okay. >> jimmy: we would play in the vacant lot across from the milk and stuff. [ laughter ] >> this was an unusual -- i haven't been to many country clubs. this had unique qualities. >> jimmy: no, my dad is not a country club kind of guy, or country, or clubs, or really anything. yeah nothing at all. >> okay. >> jimmy: but yeah, mill basin's where i grew up, yeah. i was born there. we moved to las vegas relatively quickly. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we had different kinds of clubs. [ laughter ] oh, i want to ask you about this. while we're on the subject of
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you being cornered, not that this was a cornering, but there's you, jeremy, ayo talking to steven spielberg. >> correct. >> jimmy: can you share what the discussion was about? >> so he came up to is. this is at this afi luncheon. this was an amazing day. we just started to walk in. he came right up to us, accosted us, maybe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> he was telling us how much he loved the show. >> jimmy: oh, that's great. >> and then he, you know -- he's talking about how it made him hungry, which i found a little unusual. this was the first season, the food wasn't so great, you know. but then he said to me, and he goes, "ebon, did you -- did jake tell you that i texted him about the show?" so i guess we have a mutual friend. and my friend, who i thought was my friend, decided not to tell me that steven spielberg texted him to say how much he loved this tv show i'm working on. he just kind of kept it to himself. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: jake did not pass that message -- a compliment from steven spielberg? >> steven spielberg said this. i'm kind of looking at him, just sort of with a blank stare. kind of went internal and sort of was just questioning my relationship with my friend jake. [ laughter ] maybe all of my relationships. you don't know what friends are holding out. and then -- then so the next day or later that day, i called or texted my friend. i was like, "did this really happen, did spielberg tell you to tell me that he loves the show and loved my performance?" and he said, "oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." [ laughter ] and i said, "why didn't you tell me?" and he said, "well, i thought it would be better if maybe he told you himself." and i was like -- when did you think i was going to run into -- [ laughter ] i don't know what kind of life you think -- i'm also not at the country club. [ laughter ] i don't swim in these circles, you know. >> jimmy: i hope jake is now out of your life. [ laughter ] >> yeah. i've -- yeah.
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>> jimmy: he's gone, yeah, good. you need fewer jakes in your life and more stevens is what it is. >> that's right. no, no. he's still a friend. but it did -- it does give you sort of pause. i would encourage everybody to sort of check in with your friends and see maybe if anyone -- scorsese, you know, who's texted them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, if anyone who's directed, say, "e.t." or "jaws" says anything nice about you, pass it along. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] i hope, yeah, i hope all my friends that might be watching this, you know, from going here on out, please let me know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, seems like they're more inclined to tell you when somebody said something not nice about you, right? that goes like lightning. >> yeah, that can get all the time. >> jimmy: you had a moment with matty matheson, who by the way is going to be here next week, who's on "the bear" with you, is a real chef. he's acting and cheffing as well. >> yeah.
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>> jimmy: at the emmys. let's roll that clip here. tell us what you can about this. >> yeah, i just want to thank restaurants as a whole, hospitality as a whole -- [ laughter ] >> i like ayo, ayo's eyes got really big. >> i just love restaurants so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how does matty taste? delicious? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, not like hot dogs. [ laughter ] which is, you know -- you might think. >> jimmy: you guys have the s.a.g. awards on saturday. >> yes. >> jimmy: cast is nominated for that event? >> yeah, that's right, that's right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: up the ante a little bit. where do you take it after kiss like that? >> second base? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at least a little bit of tongue, something like that. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you -- i want to talk
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about marvel. and i know that this is going to be a situation where you can't say a whole lot. >> sure. >> jimmy: but you are playing ben grimm, the thing, in "the fantastic four." [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: that we can say. which is -- i mean, i was -- i had an hour-long discussion with one of our writers about this today. >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm interested in it. these are the characters from my youth. to play ben grimm, it's clobbering time. >> it's clobbering time. that's what he says, "it's clobbering time." >> jimmy: it's clobbering time. >> ben grimm from yancey street. >> jimmy: that's it, yancey street. >> lower east side. phonically similar to delancey. but it's sort of an imaginary street. >> jimmy: how long have you known you were going to play the thing? >> all my life. no. i found out a long time ago. i think i found out in the beginning of august. i was walking -- i was taking a walk in the city.
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i was on -- i went to eatily to pick up stuff for dinner. on 23rd street over there. i was talking a walk. this was in the middle of the writers' strike. i think i got -- yeah. so they -- so i got a call from my agent. i was just, you know, i wasn't thinking about work at all. because writers are striking. actors were probably going to strike. they said, "yeah, they asked you to play the thing." and i remember i was on fifth avenue and 21st street. and i was so shocked and was walking. by the next day i realized i was right in front of astor wines. so i went in and bought a bunch of mezcal. >> jimmy: will it be set in the '60s? when they posted this happy valentine's day announcement, it seems to be '60s themed. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can't say? >> it does -- that image is -- does seem to be '60s. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you know the details of the film itself? >> i have read it.
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>> jimmy: oh, oh, wow. that's awesome. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pedro pascal will be playing mr. fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] vanessa kirby is the invisible woman. joseph quinn is johnny storm, the human torch. you're the thing. do you know all these people? have you met them all? >> i have not met vanessa. there is a group text. >> jimmy: there is? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you've not met vanessa. maybe you have, she's invisible, you just don't know you've met. >> oh. you know what? >> jimmy: it's possible. >> it is. pedro started a group text a couple of days ago. >> jimmy: does it have a fun name? >> it has -- i have his number, so it says "pedro pascal." there's 2 plus 4 numbers. i don't know which is which. >> jimmy: you're going to need a name. >> everybody said something. everyone's put a little image or a sticker or a gif or something. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so people are invested, i guess. >> jimmy: yeah, well sure. [ laughter ] that's very exciting. congratulations. that's just unbelievable.
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[ cheers and applause ] and well deserved. and good luck at the s.a.g. awards this weekend. if you want -- if you laugh vent haven't seen "the bear," you should watch it. all episodes of "the bear" are on hulu right now. ebon moss-bachrach, everybody. we'll be right back. i'm jimmy kimmel, and this year the oscars are starting one hour earlier, because bradley cooper has a yoga class. >> jimmy kimmel returns to host the os
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i see my husband... the father of our girls. i see a public servant. a man who served under secretary clinton in the state department... where he took on the epidemic of violence against women in the congo. i see a fighter, a tenacious problem-solver... who will go to congress and protect abortion rights and our democracy. because he sees a better future for all of us. i'm peter dixon and i approved this message. i launched our campaign at this union hall. let's go win this thing! then we hit the road and never stopped. you shared with me your frustration at working harder to barely get by and afford a place to live. your fears for our democracy and freedoms and your dreams for yourself, your family, and the future. it is not too late to realize those dreams. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message because together we can still get big things done.
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>> jimmy: ebon moss-bachrach, everybody. thank you to selena gomez. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next thank you for watching. have a great weekend. we'll see you on monday. good night. this is "nightline." >> tonight, the one and only rupaul. ♪ ♪ wet your lips and make love to the camera ♪ >> supermodel of the world. the lgbtq trailblazer. >> hello, hello, hello. >> rupaul's drag rac

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