>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- nick offerman, jack antonoff, and music from bleachers. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone, thank you. thank you, thank you. that's very nice. thank you very much. hi, everybody, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. i thank you for watching at home, thank you for joining us here in the studio. welcome. another stormy day in new york in the new episode of "the orange people's court" today starring donald j. trump as the defendant. in his first of many criminal trials to come. we have a lot to look forward to. prosecutors kicked off day two filing documents saying trump violated the judge's gag order. for that, trump would be fined $1,000 per offense. that should stop him. you know, that's -- [ laughter ] ebenezer snooze was up bright and early today mashing those little fingers on his phone, lashing out at the judge. he wrote, "this conflicted,

trump-hating judge won't let me respond to people that are on tv lying and spewing hate all day long. he is running rough shod over my lawyers and legal team. bla bla bla election interference! rigged, unconstitutional trial! take off the gag order!!!" only donald trump would complain about being under a gag order while violating that very gag order. it's -- [ cheers and applause ] to the judge, now, will hold a hearing on whether to hold trump in contempt, which, you know, if he were any other defendant, this kind of stuff would likely get him up to 30 days of jail time. and whether that's on his mind or not was a question for or not was a question for trump legal adviser alina habba. >> is he concerned about the possibility of being sent to jail as a ramification -- >> no. >> he's not concerned about being sent to jail? >> i don't -- i think, like anybody, he's concerned about going to jail, but if they put him in jail for his first amendment right, he will be like nelson mandela. >> jimmy: just like him.

[ laughter ] last week, he was abe lincoln, this week he's nelson mandela. next week, maybe jesus, we'll see. the trump campaign also pushed back on reports that he fell asleep in court yesterday. they said that was fake snooze. but then today, according to a number of reporters in the room, he dozed off again. he's very sleepy. is it possible his lawyers are tranquilizing him to keep the outbursts at a minimum? the gags were off outside the courthouse this morning where he floated a new line of defense from the hallways of justice. >> i was paying a lawyer, and marked it down as a legal expense, some accountant, i didn't know, marked it down as a legal expense. that's exactly what it was. and you get indicted over that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. he claims he didn't have sex with stormy daniels -- he just paid her 130 grand out of the goodness of his heart. and the truth is, paying a woman

to keep her quiet about having sex with you while your wife is at home with your newborn baby isn't illegal. what's illegal is falsifying records to make it a business expense, which he made so his supporters wouldn't find out he's a lying, cheating scum bag. turns out, his supporters don't care that he's a lying, cheating scum bag. he could have saved himself a whole trial and 130 grand. >> first of all, you know him better than anybody, right? the man is a germ phone. you know where i'm going with this. if he had an affair, if, okay, services were paid for, services rendered, services paid for, right? so, what are we talking about? lots of men use prostitutes. >> that's alleged, and she even denied that affair, so, yeah, so -- >> the man is a germ phone. >> he's a professional, he's a gentleman. i don't see him getting tangled up in that in the first place. >> jimmy: right. much too much of a gentleman to

get tangled up with that. and i'm too much of an ass kisser to say otherwise, but -- what planet do these people live on? jury selection continued today. seven jurors have now been picked. they need 12 jurors and six alternates. both sides have been working to whittle out anyone who might be biased ain the other one's direction. one potential juror said she believes no one is above the law, and trump's lawyers were like, get her out of here right now, it's -- trump got a warning from the judge, because he was gesturing and muttering in the direction of a potential juror. one of the things they do, this is fascinating, they go through people's facebook pages to see if they posted anything. see if they posted anything about -- can you imagine having all your old social media posts about trump read aloud while he's sitting right in front of you there? might be my vision of heaven, but --

but trump gets all the support he needs from an aide named natalie harp. whose job it is to print out good news and nice comments about him from the internet and hand them to him. this is the internet printout assistant natalie harp. what a surprise, she's attractive. she's a former host from one america news. her current job is polishing trump's e go. according to a story from "the washington post," harp accompanies trump on his daily golf outings, riding the court in a golf cart equipped with a laptop and sometimes a printer to show him uplifting news articles, online posts, or other materials. she's like his mood caddy. [ laughter ] and he is not in a good one right now. liger woods doubled down on his claim that the judge won't let him go to his son's high school graj wags, even though the judge has not made a ruling on that. he wrote, "who will explain for me, to my wonderful son barron, who is a great student at a fantastic school, that his dad will likely not be allowed to attend his graduation ceremony." i don't nope, seems like maybe you should be the one --

[ laughter ] to explain this, since you are the one who paid off the porn star, right? so, i vote you. again, even though the judge hasn't made any decision about whether trump can go to the graduation or not, the maga-fear is furious. >> obviously, he wants to be, i think it's may 17th is the graduation, caroline. that -- i almost think trump should call the judge's bluff and -- because i think people will rally around him. and if the judge holds him in contempt, i think people, especially the people that matter, independents, moderates, people in the middle, people still on the fence about who they're going to vote for, i think anybody can relate to wanting to go to your child's graduation, and this is a glorifi glorified, you know, error in paperwork. >> jimmy: paperwork error. you've never accidentally forgot to check a box or keep your pants on when a porn star comes to your hotel room? [ laughter ] it happens to all of us, okay? and let me tell you another thing. donald trump is about as bummed

out about potentially missing his son's high school graduation as he was about missing vietnam. he didn't want to go to either one. and of course, the whole trump clan is getting in on this graduation travesty. don jr. called the judge pure evil. eric wrote, "judge merchan is truly heartless in not letting a father attend his son's graduation." ivanka posted -- she doesn't care. i'm sure she'll get to it soon. she's busy with the motocross. the worst news for the trump kids is that daddy is running out of money. shares for his media company have plummeted down 70% since it went public a couple of weeks ago. they were down another 14% today. [ cheers and applause ] and, i don't know if you follow the stock market, i don't, but i thought this was interesting. this is the tracker for trump media and technology stock. this is truth social, et cetera. you can see, the big drop that occurred yesterday, but even weirder, if you take those peaks and valleys from the past week or so, and you flip them on

their side, and then add a little bit of color to them -- there's something there. there's something -- [ applause ] if you bought trump stock two weeks ago, and shame on you if you did, you lost half your money. but if you hold on just a little bit longer, you might be able to lose all of it, so -- [ laughter ] meanwhile, president biden is out courting voters. he was in scranton, pennsylvania, today, where he focused his thoughts on americans who have been hit hard financially. >> just the other day, a guy asked if i could help, he was drowning in debt. i said, i'm sorry, donald, but i can't help you. >> jimmy: that's what we need. pretty good one for a guy who can't put two sentences together. in greece today, they lit the olympic flame ahead of the summer games in paris.

they will then run that olympic flame all the way to paris. and boy, by the way, if this doesn't get you fired up for water polo, i don't know what will. this is -- so, then they figured out which of these women were virgins and threw them into mount vesuvius, and then released a sarn er er i'll be quiet here. just watch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, come on. you know what, she ruins everything. shameful. in arizona, the state supreme court last week banned nearly all abortions s by enforcing a w that was written back in 1864. it's so controversial, even

trump is trying to distance himself from it, but there's an interesting story about how the law came to be. during the civil war, abraham lincoln hired a lawyer named william t. howell to write the legal code for the new territory of arizona. his job was to make sure that the new laws abolished slavery, but he also worked on a number of other laws, including a ban on abortion, which is the law the supreme court decided to uphold last week, 160 years later. and the person we have to think about that is justin william t. howell, who is not with us anymore, but he is the person -- what? >> who dares sully the honor of i, arizona associate justice william t. howell, who wrote the law of which you jest. >> jimmy: um -- i do, i guess. >> prepare thy self for a spectral confrontation.

p >> jimmy: okay. >> let that be a lesson to thee. >> jimmy: a lot of americans, i don't know if you know this, are very angry that your law's taking away women's rights. >> well, if these women didn't want to be with child, why did they not sneeze after being pistoned with a fully engorged giggle stick? why, tell me, did they not scrub their floral regions with barrel grease? >> jimmy: how did you become a judge? >> i studied at a very prestigious law academy and was the pupil who shot the most nickels off a >> jimmy: that made no sense. just like your law, which i think arizona should nullify -- >> nullify? nullify my law? >> jimmy: yeah. >> why, you soft-handed

mug-eared fat kidneyed onion-eyed rattlesnake fang on the scrotum. you bacon faced pipkin headed brisket beating rump fed hand sucked caper merchant. >> jimmy: i don't even know. >> you scotch fiddled, gore bellied, fox infested, son of a footless hedge pig. no! >> guillermo: it's okay, jimmy. busting makes me feel good. [ applause ] >> jimmy: beautiful. all right, we have a good show for you tonight. jack antonoff is here. we have music from his band bleachers. and we'll be right back with the ghost, nick offerman.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight, a ten-time grammy-winning singer, songwriter, you name it, jack antonoff is with us. this is his band's self-titled album. music from bleachers on the

don julio stage. tomorrow night, we'll be joined by rob mcelhenney and chris stapleton. so, please join us for that. [ applause ] our first guest is one of the very few emmy award-winning actors who can carve a canoe out of a tree. he plays a dystopian president in a dystopian america in the number one dystopian movie in the country, "civil war" is in theaters now. please welcome nick offerman. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: may i begin by saying, that was one of the finest portrayals of arizona territorial lawyer somebody t. howell i've ever seen.

>> that's right. thank you very much. [ applause ] >> jimmy: blessing with us. >> i'm classically trained at the university of illinois, so, i hope i did them proud. >> jimmy: you did, you certainly did. and i know that you come from a family of politicians, which is something i learned today. >> i do, i mean, they would argue it's a bit of a stretch, but my grandfather was the mayor of our small illinois town. back when i was a kid. and then my dad is now the mayor, so -- people always say to me, and, so, i say, my sister is a very powerful librarian. >> jimmy: is she? >> she will probably be next in line, hopefully. >> jimmy: is your sister really a librarian? >> a very powerful one. >> jimmy: and does she work in the library? she's there with the dewey decimal system and the whole deal? >> she worked her way up, so, now she's sort of like a mafia don. she oversees a region of illinois libraries, the three rivers public library system.

i hope i can say that. >> jimmy: i hope so, too. >> she's very intimidating. >> jimmy: so, your dad, your grandfather, et cetera, are involved in the town council or whatever, do you have to behave yourself? there are extra pressures on you as a young man? >> you would think. i mean, this is america, and so, what i've learned from the example of others, is that if your family is in power, you maybe get away with a little more. >> jimmy: oh, the opposite. >> yeah. saudi arabia might send you a couple billion dollars. [ laughter ] if you play your cards right. i -- i was the black sheep. i have this wonderful family, there are 40 of us, and megan and i are the only two that don't live there. >> jimmy: is that true? >> it's this incredible -- half of them are farmers on mom's side and then we have the mayor, we have schoolteachers, librarians, paramedics. and then there's one douche

bag -- and what about me? and so, i experimented with misdemeanors when i was young. >> jimmy: please, detail us. what did you do? and remember, you are among friends. >> i mean -- these were great lessons learned. when i was in college, my friend and i had a game, and talk about the privilege, we had a game where we'd go into a store and steal the dumbest thing we could to make each other laugh. so, it was shoplifting as diversion, and i got caught in a kmart, which is the -- place where they're watching for shoplifters the closest. >> jimmy: sure. >> shoving eight ronny millsap cassettes down the front of my jeans, and -- walking out,

just -- couldn't wait to see the look on joe faust's face when i was like, check this out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ronny millsap. were they all the same album? >> eight different records. >> jimmy: you got the whole catalog down there. >> it was the perfect crime. [ laughter ] until it wasn't. it was -- and it was scary. i went to jail. and i was terrified. >> jimmy: you went to jail for stealing ronny millsap? >> i was like, come on, you guys, clearly, this is a bit. [ laughter ] like -- but they wanted to teach me a lesson, and they did. it was opening night -- it was opening night of the first time i got cast in a play at the university of illinois, and i was in this production of "picnic," and so, if i hadn't made it to the play, i probably would have been kicked out of school. but a friend of mine, his name was rob, came and bailed me out, and my other friend was the

assistant director, nobody knew, nobody told anymore. 12 minutes before curtain, i got to the theater and, like -- put on my stuff and went out and gave the most tearful performance. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was that the -- that's a pretty good crime. >> my mom and dad don't know about this, so -- >> jimmy: was that the end of it, or did joe keep going, or? >> well, no, there was one other time. in the urbana jail station. some friends and i, we can say this now in california, we were smoking marijuana out behind a community theater, late one night. and some flashlights came along the creek where we were hanging out, and we realized it was police. and so, we began to tiptoe away. and they gave chase and we wisely ran. [ laughter ] and they tackled us. incredibly tough woman who, i

think, may have been holly hunter -- [ laughter ] i couldn't tell, because she had her boot on my head and her -- she had her gun on me. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> so, they tackled us in a parking lot and it got incredibly real. and we said, i don't think we did whatever you think we did. this is -- suddenly gotten out of hand. it turned out that a restaurant had been robbed of a bunch of cash up the creek. and so, they naturally -- they saw these kids running and we spent the whole night in jail, and -- >> jimmy: oh. >> and the thing is, we were just these innocent dumb theater kids and we were saying, no, we were out there smoking and talking, officer. and i'm -- i'm too [ bleep ] to drunk. usually gets you off, you know, they love that joke. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> and thankfully, we put up enough of a collective front

that they decided we weren't the thieves, they let us go in the morning, so they kept us all night. and as the sun was coming up, we walked out and on the front lawn of this sheriff's station, my friend greg, who had the one hitter, the pot smoking paraphernalia, we said, it's a bummer you had to throw that in the creek, and he reached into his crouch and pulled it out and was like, i think i'm going to throw this thing away? [ laughter ] and so -- >> jimmy: wow. you really -- >> so, we smoked marijuana first thing in the morning in urbana in front of the sheriff's station and now here i am. >> jimmy: wow, that's, i mean -- [ applause ] >> if you want to make it in showbiz -- you can do a lot worse. >> jimmy: you reached down into the pants, you pull out a one hitter, maybe there an extra ronny millsap cassette in there. >> millsap and weed. >> jimmy: nick offerman is with

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citizens of america. we are now closer than ever to a historic victory. as we eliminate the final pockets of resistance, god bless you all, and god bless america. >> jimmy: that is "civil war" in

theaters now. this is nick offerman, in our studio right now. you have the number one movie in the country. is that something that registers with you? >> it's kind of my thing. >> jimmy: yeah? [ laughter ] >> no, i -- i am over the moon, especially because i love this filmmaker so much, alex garland. he's really underappreciated. we did a tv show together called "devs." and now -- i think he's an exquisite filmmaker. so, i'm so glad that everybody's going to see this, i you this it's imperative. >> jimmy: besides, obviously, it's a compliment to be asked to be in a film that somebody is making, do you feel extra good about yourself when they ask you to play the president of the united states? >> well, i mean, it depends. it really depends. but sure. i don't -- i don't look at it that way, like, because it's not -- it's not that big of a role. i'm kind of like sauron in "the

lord of the rings." he doesn't get a lot of screen time. >> jimmy: yes, yes. he's not a good president -- he's not a -- >> i mean -- >> jimmy: a good guy. >> he's not necessarily a good guy. i mean, he's just trying to pay his mortgage like anybody, you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is he based on any of our recent former presidents? >> no. i mean, there are some details about him that, you know -- he does lean towards fascism, but no. [ laughter ] alex -- alex is very clear, and it's an important part of the movie, actually, that there are no political echoes of real life, it's a very fictional america, and you actually don't know who the -- are on the sides of the war, and you don't know, my president, you don't know what his politics are other than he's full of [ bleep ], which, i mean -- that could be anybody. and so, that's important to the film, because you come out of it

having a conversation about, should we -- should we head towards war versus the divisive conversations of, like, red versus blue, decency versus red or, you know -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. [ applause ] you know, i have to say, i feel like -- and i hope you think this is a compliment, i feel like you could be the actual president, if you decided -- >> i don't take that as a compliment. >> jimmy: because i think that you have, like, you have the jsh just kind of like the real life credentials, like, with your woodworking and what not, and -- >> woodworking. >> jimmy: you're like a regular man. intelligent -- >> done time. >> jimmy: punctual. what would a nick offerman presidency be like? have you thought about that? >> i -- well, i mean, i have thought about that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh-huh, sure. >> i would pay a lot of

attention to our agriculture. i'm going to answer earnestly. i would urge our government to pass a new farm bill that pays attention to our farmers who are providing all the food that we eat, and who we've come to ignore in this industrial time. [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. >> yeah, it's not super sexy tv to talk about soil health, but i would also reinstate woodworking and kitchens and sewing in our schools and teach our kids -- >> jimmy: sewing. >> how to make things with their hands. >> jimmy: do they not have wood shop and metal shop in school anymore? >> most schools have done away with all of their shops and their home economics, like learning to cook, i mean, all of those things, i loved across the board. i loved learning to make casserole, and i loved learning to build a table. all of those things, you need. if you want to serve casserole, you need a table. >> jimmy: 100%. you can't eat a casserole on the

floor. >> no. >> jimmy: you would be such a good president. i don't think it's too late. i think we can get you on some ballots, you know? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: going to -- >> now, i had a sister who is a very powerful librarian. >> jimmy: i'd vote for your sister. >> i would, too. because i'm a pushover, but -- >> jimmy: she is not. she doesn't kid around. when she says shh, people get quiet? >> you don't need to be shushed when she's around. >> jimmy: this is nick offerman, everybody. vote for his sister. his movie is "civil war." it's in theaters and imax now. thank you, nick. we'll be back with jack antonoff. with my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms. with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq is different and may help.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. our next guest is a

hugely successful and prolific songwriter, producer, and recording artist with as many grammys as he has fingers. count it up yourself if you like. his band's new album is the self-titled "bleachers." please say hello to jack antonoff. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good, how you doing? j. >> jimmy: i'm doing well. you played coachella over the weekend. was it fun? >> what did you hear? >> jimmy: i heard you played. i didn't get a review from anybody, really. but my daughter was there. i didn't ask her how it went, yeah. >> no, it was fantastic. >> jimmy: it was? >> yeah, yeah, i -- i like playing festivals, they're opposite the headlining show. >> jimmy: why do you like playing a festival? >> it's just -- we're more ic

isolated, all of us bands. so, when we go to the festival, it's nice. everyone's trailers are around each other, you say hi to people, sometimes you say, "i like your band" and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and they say, i like your band, or, they don't, or? >> most people are niese, ce, b is this how you feel when you go to the comedy club, jimmy? >> jimmy: no, no. i don't really go to the comedy clubs that much. >> you people see each other more. >> jimmy: yeah, well, you can't say you people. it's offensive to comedians. >> you people have, like -- [ laughter ] there's more, like, i feel like, events. >> jimmy: yeah. a lot of charity events. i will say that i love being around a group of comedians, and if i'm even -- if i'm at a party and there are a couple of comedians there, i will gravitate into the corner with those comedians and we'll talk the whole night and not talk to other people. >> i saw you at a party last week.

>> jimmy: who was i talking to? >> the guy to played elvis. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, austin butler. yeah, i remember that. [ laughter ] >> but i did notice at -- i think there's more parties in l.a., there's no parties in new york, that i get invited to, when i come here, i sometimes do things. >> jimmy: what do you mean do things? >> i feel like in california, there's more, like, there's things going on. people it's because i live in new york, i've cut out everyone who i know. >> jimmy: okay. >> you mean do things, like, you will do things, you'll do things. i thought you meant when you get to the party, you'll do things. i'm like, what things are you doing? >> does all this part get cut? do we just start over? [ laughter ] watch this, ready? >> jimmy: we will cut none of this. this is all going to be on. yes. >> if you don't cut it, then the transition works, because out's funny, it's -- great. >> jimmy: you're always producing. [ laughter ]

[ applause ] okay, so, you're at coachella, and you have -- you are -- to be serious for a moment, and maybe this is embarrassing to you, but i know you won a grammy, best producer -- >> why the [ bleep ] would that be embarrassing? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a little bit -- >> no, it is. >> jimmy: i get a sense that might embarrass you. when you go to a festival and there's bands there, you must have artists all the time come up to you and say they would love you to produce their record. and you obviously can't do that for everybody, so, how do you handle that? how do you let them down gently or do you? >> well, you know what the truth is? not to give, like, a joke answer, my time is, like, when i'm working on the bleachers records and we're touring, that's a huge part of my life that a lot of the time i'm just there. it's very easy to be like, oh, i do get asked to do stuff and, it's like, i would love to, but i just don't have tons of time. a lot of the records i produce have been ones that have been

long relationships that have been in motion for a long period of time, and -- >> jimmy: for instance, obviously, you worked with taylor swift, you worked with lana del rey, you worked with lourde, with florence and the machine. what do you have against men? there aren't many men on that list. is there something about you that -- you're more inclined to work with female artists? >> i feel like -- no, and i do work with a lot of monen, too, don't know why they never make the list on these things. there's a lot of men out there. but i do feel like men in general have reached this point where they think admitting they're, like, dissans is the final buck -- you know what i mean? >> jimmy: i have no idea. [ laughter ] >> i feel like a lot of men are, like, i'm a disaster! whew, i did it. you know? >> jimmy: i still don't know.

>> i feel like -- around? >> my dad, alive? yeah he is. >> has he had, like, a renaissance about emotions and stuff? >> jimmy: no. it's more like -- it's more about knee surgeries and -- >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ankle casts. guillermo knows. he's latching too hard. for my father, it's painkillers. >> got it. i feel like a lot of -- i was just talking to my partner about this, how a lot of men are, like, i'm so [ bleep ] up and i did this and i feel this way, and, whew, i did it, i said it, and sort of miss the next part, so, i find men to be very oversensitive. >> jimmy: the next part being the working on it part and -- or just admitting it, they think is enough? >> i think i'm talking about a certain kind of dad, not my dad. [ laughter ] your dad. >> jimmy: definitely not my dad.

>> i guess -- okay, so, i do work with men, but what i'm trying to -- >> jimmy: will you lay down while you do this? >> okay. >> jimmy: we're going to go a little bit long. in fact, you're watching on tv, there is going to be an edit, because we -- because i want to go through this whole thing, but if you're watching on youtube, you're getting the whole damn thing. go ahead. >> here's what i mean. i think men -- there's two people that i think are almost too oversensitive to even function, and it's men and members of the music industry. it's the -- the amount of sensitivity -- it's sort of like watching kanye, it's like -- which, by the way, jimmy, i know you have your own relationship with sort of the right and how you interact with them and you're much closer to how i see these things than other people. i don't like going to people, you do this, you do this, blah, blah, because that's what they want, you know, this sort of type of oversensitive man, so, i just do more of this, like, if i saw kanye, i would be like,

the -- your diaper, we have to change your diaper, your diaper needs to be changed, it's a huge problem. and i think you do a little bit of this with some of your trump work, where, like -- because the truth is, it's like, i'm not that offended, right? and so, i mean, i'm offended, but i'm not that offended, so, i don't like to play this character of overly offended. i like to up the trolling. so, i think of -- there was a man at the delta lounge with one of those shirts that was like, you know, really the stupid, had one of those bleeding american flags. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> i don't know why a flag would bleed, you know what i mean? and i wanted to -- in my head, i was like, i wanted to rush up to him and start touching him, be like, there is an amazing diaper room over there, we can make sure it doesn't get caked up and it will be better on the plane. >> jimmy: you are absolutely right. and by the way -- if we star

started -- [ laughter ] >> that was nice. >> jimmy: i'm inspired by this. and i will tell you that i am -- each night, i'm going to try to work some comment about trump wearing diapers into the conversation. and eventually it will become part of the fabric of this country. and he will get -- he will not be happy with it when it happens. in fact, we may even get him to the point where he drops his pants to prove he isn't wearing a diaper. >> doesn't have a diaper, yeah. [ applause ] that would be great. >> jimmy: wouldn't that be a vict victory? >> i do -- i'm not gassing you here, because i've talked about it with friends when you're not around, and you are never around, except for today. >> jimmy: almost never, yeah. >> you are one of the only people that i feel like is just sort of, like, you know, like we are funnier, so, let's be funnier. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. just get him. yeah, well, i appreciate that. very nice of you to say. but i do take pleasure in the idea that he might be hearing

some of this stuff and it might make him crazy, which i know it does. >> yeah, yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and i also -- i hope that if god forbid he wins in november, you will come visit me in prison. >> i would love to you, we'll do a big tetelethon. we'll have a big -- then we'll all two to jail, too, i guess. >> jimmy: yeah, well, we'll have fun. listen, we can talk all night, but we got to hear some music from you. you do have an album, and this is it right here, and i love the cover, by the way, it's excellent. that's -- i mean, that's like a vacation photo right there. >> there's a reason for it. >> jimmy: why? >> because it's the first picture -- not a joke, the first picture i've ever seen of myself where i just recognized myself. and i was doing a more serious shoot and at one point i just waved, and when we got the contact sheets back, i was like, oh, that's me, which isn't common, should be, but it isn't, and so, i thought, that should

be the cover. >> jimmy: this is like the neighbor you want to have. [ applause ] right there. jack antonoff. >> the neighbor you want to have. come over and troll you about your big dirty diaper tantrum. jack j jack antonoff. "bleachers" is the name of the album, from the band bleachers. and we'll be right back with music from bleachers. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by tequila don julio, an icon of modern mexico. at exactly the same time. look at all that. we're all on the same page. (♪) hulu on disney+ is here.

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>> jimmy: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by tequila don julio, an icon of modern mexico. >> jimmy: thanks to nick offerman and jack antonoff. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, this is their self-title album. here with the song "tiny moves," bleachers! ♪ ♪ the tiniest moves you make the whole damn world shakes ♪

♪ call it a bloodlust crisis of faith ♪ ♪ been changing enough for us both babe ♪ ♪ woah-oh-oh watchin' it all come down ♪ ♪ watch it go round and round ♪ ♪ the tiniest moves you make watchin my whole world shake ♪ ♪ look who's on the edge again on the edge again ♪ ♪ call it american football chic ♪ ♪ breaking your neck for no reason ♪ ♪ the little brush right down the avenue ♪ ♪ a tiny twist of faith will come and shake you

you can believe ♪ ♪ woah-oh-oh watchin it all come down watch it go round and round ♪ ♪ the tiniest moves you make watchin my whole world shake ♪ ♪ look who's on the edge again on the edge again woo ♪ ♪ on your own again on your own again what yeah what oh ♪ ♪ the tiniest moves you make watchin the whole world shake ♪ ♪ watchin my whole world change ♪ ♪ tiniest twist of faith watchin the

whole world shake ♪ ♪ watchin my whole world change oh oh oh ♪ ♪ the tiniest moves you make tiniest moves you make ♪ ♪ watchin the whole world shake ♪ ♪ tiniest twist of faith the tiniest moves you make let's go let's go ♪ ♪ tiniest moves you make the tiniest moves you make ♪ ♪ the tiniest twist of faith watchin my whole world change ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ this is "nightline." tonight, abortion showdown. we're on the ground in arizona, in a race against time. >> i didn't go to medical school to go to jail. >> bracing for possible total ban on abortion. >> it's prey