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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  February 16, 2024 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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yelp and try and snag a spot. >> i'm just stoked to know tony is real! >> you thought he was fictional? >> i don't know that i've seen him too often, so he's elusive. now you'll be looking for him on the street. >> he's busy cooking pies. >> it's there! hardman! jackpot, kansas city! ["closing time" melody] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ >> and watch "the late show." >> that's right, cheesy! ahhh! >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert!" tonight... "the late show" super postgame supershow super. first, stephen welcomes john krasinski and ryan gosling! with a special appearance by jon stewart. featuring louis cato and "the late show" band.
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and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hello, my friends. how are you? nice to see you. oh! right over there. that was a fun one. that was a fun one, baby. you feel that? you feel that electricity? it can only be one thing. it is super bowl night, baby! this is the night when all americans gather in front of the tv like one extended family to watch the premiere of "tracker." tracker: he's a human air tag. also the football game. and what a game it was. for the second time in super bowl history, we went to extra innings. so i think we all know the real
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winners were cbs ad sales. in overtime, san francisco got the ball first and put it through the uprights for 3 points. and between the two teams, is this true? they kicked seven field goals in this game. i'm sorry, but since when is football played with the feet? then, kansas city got the ball back and would lose the game if they did not score. and you could hear sphincters snapping shut all over the midwest. [popping] but patrick mahomes drove the chiefs down the field for this game-winning score. right there, boom! [cheering] come on! finally. >> louis: hey! >> stephen: fantastic. finally something good happened for taylor swift! now, in the lead-up to the game, taylor's beau, travis kelce, arrived dressed like a sparkly trashbag.
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oh, also before -- this was before the game started, right? before the game started, homeland security showed a bunch of counterfeit merchandise they had seized. okay? which is too bad, i for one was looking forward to getting a t-shirt celebrating "super bowel champs the canvas city chorfs!" go, chorfs! there was also a big betting opportunity during the commercials, and it involved retired tight end and gym teacher whose sex ed presentation just got really uncomfortable, rob gronkowski. you see, gronk has been appearing in an ad called the fanduel "kick of destiny 2" where fans could place a $5 bet on whether he will make it or miss a field goal. well, today was the big day. gronk lined up the kick and missed wide right. okay, it's embarrassing but not as embarrassing as doing that in the helmet they normally serve ice cream in. we also got our first look
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at the trailer for "wicked: part one." yeah! yeah! which is why at your super bowl party, that one nephew who doesn't care about the game suddenly started screaming and needed a minute to collect themselves. the first half did not have a lot of action. it was almost an hour into the game before we got our first glimpse of taylor celebrating a long completion by kansas city. but then the chiefs immediately fumbled, and travis kelce was seen yelling in frustration at coach andy reid. i'm a pretty good lip reader, jimmy. put that back up. i think he was saying "you're embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend! jeez louise!" you say "jeez louise"? did i get that right? [cheers] even though her boy toy was angry, tay-ay still had some fun. at one point, she was caught chugging her beer on the jumbotron. okay! [cheering]
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hey, please have fun, taylor. but please make sure you have a designated driver for your private jet. then the nfl tweeted her beer chug, accompanied simply with the word "icon." if that's what makes you an icon, then my aunt rita is an icon-a-holic. hi, rita! [cheering] there were, as usual, there were a lot of great ads. even martin scorsese directed an ad for square face -- squarespace. or square face. scorsese is the most brilliant director to do a super bowl ad since ingmar bergman's 1984 ad for wendy's. [speaking swedish]
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yeah, sure. sure. [applause] sven. there was also ads featuring the biggest celebrity of all, the lord, who was featured in two spots from the "he gets us" campaign. and "he gets us" i think is so appropriate, because we all remember that quote from the sermon on the mount, "i'll get you. i'll get you if it's the last thing i do." your little dog, too, i think he says at one point. language app duolingo bucked the celebrity trend with this just 5-second ad. yes, it looks weird, but his ass is now fluent in spanish. okay, the score was 10-3 at halftime when we were treated to an amazing performance by usher. [cheering] the theme was "help, i'm trapped
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in a jack-o-lantern." usher sang so many of his hits like... who cares what he sang? look at those abs, baby! bare nipples at the super bowl halftime show? cbs is back, baby! all is forgiven! [cheering] it was a great performance by usher. he was joined by some incredible artists, including alicia keyes, ludacris, h.e.r., and lil jon. how would you rate your performance, lil jon? >> what?! >> stephen: i said how would you rate your performance? >> okay! >> stephen: he is his own harshest critic. [applause] but... what? maybe the biggest news from the halftime show is how little it pays to be in it, because, while it does offer extraordinary levels of exposure, the gig comes with a $0 paycheck.
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uh, lil jon, your thoughts? >> what?! >> stephen: after halftime, the game bogged down in a slow defensive back-and-forth, but the big news is that verizon released an ad featuring beyonce, and moments after it aired, she announced a country-themed "renaissance part ii" album. wow, that is incredible. i cannot wait for the album to drop. i'm a huge fan. but i do have to say, announcing your album during the super bowl has real "getting engaged during your sister's baby shower" energy. now, the stakes were not just high out on the field. this super bowl set a record for betting, with 1 in 4 americans betting on the game. to which americans responded, "one in four? i like those odds! where's the atm? no, i'm good. i'm doing a payout." gamblers also bet on the length of the national anthem, with an over/under of 90.5 seconds. now, technically, and i just found this out, betting on the national anthem
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is illegal here in the united states, which is why draft kings and fanduel only allowed it for canadian bettors. hey, canadians, bet on your own national anthem. and take the under on how many people know the words. ♪ o canada ♪ ♪ it's been one week since you looked at me! ♪ is that it? is that it? [applause] ♪ chickity china ♪ ♪ the chinese chicken ♪ ♪ you have a drumstick ♪ ♪ and your brain ♪ ♪ starts clicking ♪ gambling ads were all over the broadcast tonight. one for the sportsbook bet mgm featured vince vaughn, wayne gretzky, and a whole lot of tom brady. you know, after his crypto ad, you gotta respect tom's dedication to helping your uncle lose the rest of his money. now, if any of you out there if you actually really wanted to go to the game live, experts say this was the priciest super bowl ever, with some tickets on sale for $100,000.
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that's a lot. but, of course, the memories will last a lifetime. unless you're one of the players. now, if you're upset... if you're... what? if you're upset that your team lost tonight, you might be part of a growing trend: angry football fans who keep punching their tvs. this is true. let's go to the highlights, jim. >> oh, my god. [smashing] [bleep] >> stephen: but i don't want my audience destroying the device they use to watch my show. and now you won't have to, thanks to our new sponsor. >> second and 8, throw incomplete. >> oh! >> is your sports season being ruined by a loved one who can't handle it when their team loses? tired of cleaning up shrapnel, not being able to watch your shows, and what about the cost? >> there's gotta be a better way. >> introducing the samsung punchable tv.
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the first fully plush rage-resistant flat screen that is safe to punch, club, stab, knee, headbutt, slam, chew, drive over with a car or throw from a building into a dumpster. leaving you to enjoy your leisure time in peace. >> you're doing great, honey! >> punchable tv works no matter what brings you to the game. >> where's taylor? she was supposed to be in the box with blake lively. ahh! >> and it's not just for sports. >> wait! where's niles? >> it's not a real reboot without niles! >> plus, punchable tv saves you from addressing the root cause of your aggression. >> i wish i had more male friends. >> the samsung punchable tv. because you have no male friends. >> i didn't say that. shut up! >> the samsung punchable tv. get yours before the 2024 election. >> early exit polling results... >> stephen: we got a great show
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for you tonight! my guests are john krasinski and ryan gosling. but when we come back, we might have a visit from my old friend jon stewart. stick around. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: "the late show with stephen colbert" sponsored by mcdonald's. mcdonald's best classic burgers ever. they're hotter. they're juicier. they're... [hamburglar] robble robble. looks like we've been hamburgled. ♪♪ [hamburglar] robble robble. ♪ba da ba ba ba♪ wanna know how i get this glow?! i get ready with new olay indulgent moisture body wash. it smells amazing and gives my skin over the top moisture! from dull to visibly glowing in 14 days! ♪♪ see the difference with olay.
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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! give it up for louis cato and "the late show" band! [cheering] >> louis: [laughs] >> stephen: in just a few minutes, ladies and gentlemen, just a few minutes, our dear friends mr. john krasinski and ryan gosling will be out here right there. and following the show, stick around for an all-new "after midnight" with our dear friend, the very talented taylor tomlinson will be right after this. folks, you know, it is super bowl sunday. we've got a huge audience, a show packed full of incredible guests, which means now is the perfect time to walk you through the recipe for my patented seven layer dip. okay?
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bottom layer: cushed-up florescent tubes. now, the -- i'm sorry. i don't know what that's about. second layer, mercury from -- what? jim, what is -- what the hell is going on down there? [cheering] what's going on? good to see you. oh, my god. it's jon stewart, everybody. look at that. jon. jon, hold on. hold on. i've got to do the thing. jon, please. everybody please have a seat. jon, i'm doing the -- what are you doing here? >> jon: well, you know i've obviously lived under your desk ever since i left "the daily show." >> stephen: i know that. of course i know that, but why are are you interrupting right now? >> jon: well, you may have heard. there is some exciting news. >> stephen: exciting news? hold on, hold on. if there's exciting news, let me just get a mouthful of water
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first. mm-hmm. >> jon: uh, starting tomorrow, i'm gonna be back hosting "the daily show"! [cheering] >> stephen: wow. i didn't know that. i just swallowed it. yeah, i did. that's amazing. jon stewart hosting "the daily show" at 11:00 p.m. on comedy central. we're gonna watch every weeknight, right, everybody? [cheering] >> jon: very kind of you. actually there's one more piece of news. and you should probably take a big sip of water first. there you go. news? >> jon: i'm only doing it mondays. >> stephen: okay. okay. only mondays? that's interesting. >> jon: yeah! okay!
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what? >> stephen: jon, you famously hate mondays and love lasagna. >> jon: that's garfield. look, point is, i've got to move out of this desk and back underneath "the daily show" desk. i probably shouldn't have picked while you were taping. that was probably stupid of me. >> stephen: can i have my keys back? >> jon: gosh, yes. >> that sounds like all of them. >> jon: you've been awfully nice to me, thank you so much. this has been great. so this is good-bye. >> stephen: wait, jon, wait, no! jon, no! >> jon: stop, stop. >> stephen: no, listen, jon. you can't just leave. no, no. >> jon: i have to move on, stephen! >> stephen: no, i'm fine with you moving on. i mean you can't leave until i inspect your living space. otherwise i'm not giving you back your security deposit. >> jon: that's reasonable. let's go. >> stephen: should i take the water with me? >> jon: sure, take the water with you. watch out for the ladder!
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don't step on the -- god. that's a drop. >> stephen: wow, i like we've done to the place. >> jon: i did not do anything to the place. >> stephen: that's what i like. what's that scratch on the wall? >> jon: those were here before. >> stephen: well this all looks good. i was afraid you would try to bring down one of your rescue strict no llama policy. >> jon: stephen, i am a grown man. i'm not going to betray our trust. bring down some llama for god sakes. >> stephen: i believe you. you know why? you have a book called "how not to hide your llama" by jon stewart. i want to read that. >> jon: i would not touch -- [alarm sounding] >> stephen: i knew it! you're not getting your security deposit back, stewart. mr. llama hider. >> jon: that is so not true. i was not hiding a llama. in fact, this is not a llama. this is an alpaca.
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>> stephen: oh, really? >> jon: do you know the difference between an alapaca and a llama? >> stephen: no, i don't. >> jon: then this is definitely an alpaca. >> stephen: okay, then here's your security deposit. >> jon: oh, my goodness, thank you so much. so helpful. these guys are so expensive to feed. >> stephen: well, i guess this really is goodbye, jon. >> jon: yeah. we had fun, though, didn't we? >> stephen: we sure did. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jon: you know, there is one more thing, stephen. and it's a bit of a surprise. >> stephen: really? you know how surprises make me thirsty, jon. excuse me one second while i get
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a glass of water here and wet my whistle. >> jon: ready? you're my best friend. >> stephen: [burbling] [crying] jon stewart, everybody. you can see him back on "the daily show" tomorrow. we'll be right back with john krasinski and ryan gosling. >> jon: both? wow. looking for a smarter way to mop? try the swiffer powermop. ♪♪ an all-in-one cleaning tool, with a 360-degree swivel head that goes places a regular mop just can't. ♪♪ mop smarter with the swiffer powermop. ♪ ♪ mopnext.ter next. stop. we got it? no. keep going. aga... [ sigh ] next. next. if you don't pick one...
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♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey! welcome back to our special super bowl show, everybody. welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. my first guest this evening is an actor and director you know from "the office," "jack ryan," and "a quiet place." [cheering] he has just written, directed, and stars in the upcoming movie "if." please welcome back to "the late show," john krasinski! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]
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look at that. [cheering] >> john: my god. wow, that's pretty good. [cheering] >> stephen: very nice. thank you very much. it's always just absolutely lovely to have you here. thanks for being here. >> john: venmo clearly works. i paid each and every one of them. thank you, guys. that was amazing. >> stephen: happy super bowl. >> john: thank you. happy super bowl to you. >> stephen: thank you very much. we're enjoying our super bowl show here tonight. did you have a chance to watch the game? >> john: i did.& yep. >> stephen: how about that game? >> john: those teams. >> stephen: yep. the team that had red and white in their uniform? >> john: they just -- and so much. >> stephen: yep. it is awards season. i don't know if you know this, but those of us in hollywood, you have got the best date to this awards season this year. you and your lovely wife, emily blunt.
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this is the two of you. golden globes, right? just look radiant. absolutely incandescent. >> john: she sure does. >> stephen: she's so beautiful. >> john: it's getting a little weird. but yeah. no, yeah. >> stephen: a man can appreciate a beautiful woman. that's nothing wrong. >> john: no, there's nothing wrong. >> stephen: okay. your outfit... [laughter] she's nominated for an incredible performance as kitty oppenheimer in "oppenheimer." did you hang out on the set? were you there with the oppenheimer gang? >> john: did not go to set. no, i was on the press tour for a while. >> stephen: why did you wink at me when you did that? >> john: 'cause it's away from the camera. oh, they got it on that one. okay. >> stephen: it sounds like you weren't on the press tour. on the "press tour" for a while. >> john: i was just taking credit for the movie when i was out there.
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"guys, we did it. we all did it. chris, i'm so glad you listened to what i said because it worked." >> stephen: you're a director. >> john: i'm a director. you're british. i'm not. it works. >> stephen: he's only half british. he grewup in evanston, illinois. >> john: yes, that is true. >> stephen: the accent is completely made up. >> john: yeah, i just realized that. when he was on the show a few days ago. >> stephen: yes. did you see when he was on the show a few days ago? [bleep] [bleep] >> john: white team, red team! >> stephen: your favorite play in the game tonight. what was your favorite play in tonight's game? >> john: oh, my god! when that guy and he. >> stephen: oh! it was good. it was good. unbelievable. >> john: oh, play that back in slo-mo. >> stephen: you have and i'm very excited about this because i saw early clips of this because i'm special. you've got a new movie coming out this spring
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called "if," which you wrote, directed, produced. and you're in it. are you also the gaffer and the caterer? >> john: i tried. they wouldn't let me. i did, because imaginary friends, there's a lot of visual effects so we didn't have actual ifs onset. imaginary friends. so i would puppet the imaginary friends to the other actors. >> stephen: is that what this is? there's ryan reynolds in the background. you holding a puppet unicorn. >> john: that's a puppet unicorn, and that's my wife. emily blunt is the voice -- >> stephen: she is so versatile. >> john: i know, rght? she was wearing that suit. >> stephen: what's going on here? >> john: that's a pink alligator named allie. i would interact with the actors for them, like they needed that. they were like, "honestly, just stand back." it's very intimidating. that is my daughter's real imaginary friend. i wrote the movie for my kids. oh, it's very -- thank you.
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before that, i think they thought i was an account. i was like, "i'm going to work." and they were like "yeah, right." they couldn't see "jack ryan" or "a quiet place." so i don't think they knew where i was going. >> stephen: so they don't know what daddy does? >> john: no. they do now. what happened was, i'd had this idea for a long time, but during the pandemic, i saw the light going out in my kids, and i saw them sort of trying to figure out life and figure what was going on. and i wrote a movie to show them that there's always hope. there's always someone there behind you that has your back and you can always turn to. [applause] there you go. >> stephen: that's lovely, really lovely. >> john: thank you. >> stephen: there was a teaser in the super bowl tonight. >> john: there was. we did a fun little bit. >> stephen: that's a pricey little ad. i want to get you your money's worth out of it. so i thought we would show a little bit of it again. >> john: hey, thank you very much. >> stephen: jim, show the folks, please. >> hi, i'm john krasinski, director of the upcoming film "if." now "if" is a movie about... >> you're not john krasinski. >> something's happening.
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>> hi. >> hi. >> hi! >> i'm not going to ask you again. put some pants on. you're freaking everyone out. [applause] >> stephen: i recognize a few voices. it's got a stacked cast. obviously, emily blunt. it's got steve carell, matt damon, jon stewart, ryan reynolds, sebastian maniscalco. phoebe waller-bridge, fiona shaw, richard jenkins, awkwafina, vince vaughn, stephen colbert. oh, wait, that's -- i'm not in it. i'm not... that's weird. >> john: do we have a mic? we can do a quick voice-over. no? we could. i could try to get you in the movie right now. >> stephen: i love you, cindy. >> john: all right, let's go again. >> stephen: i didn't have an imaginary friend. >> john: we've got to talk about cindy. that's all i want to know about now. >> stephen: i think i am the imaginary friend of -- the girl named cindy. i just chose a child. is there a child named cindy in this movie?
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>> john: no. >> stephen: never too late. have you finished the movie? >> john: i have not. i have a couple more days. >> stephen: there. >> john: you know what? we already got it, right? we have "i love you, cindy?" that's all i need. >> stephen: did you have an imaginary friend growing up? >> john: this is all imaginary. this is... you're my imaginary friend. >> stephen: so none of this is real? this isn't even the super bowl night? you are saying we are not actually here on super bowl night? tell me? is that what you're trying to tell me? >> john: that's why we don't know who's playing. >> stephen: oh, i know who's playing. it's kansas city versus the 49ers. how long ago do you think we recorded this? >> john: wait a minute. wait a minute. >> stephen: it's the new york knickerbockers versus the chicago balloons. it says here bonus question. should we do the bonus question? >> john: oh. do we have a wheel we can spin? >> stephen: sure. there we go, here's your bonus question. that's what you get: action. action. ryan gosling is going to be on the show right after you.
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he's the next guest after you. he's promoting a movie with your lovely and talented wife, emily. >> john: oh! it's gross when you do it. it's grosser. >> stephen: it's more gross when you stick your finger in my mouth it's not gross? but if i wipe away just nothing special. nothing bad. >> john: it's getting worse. >> stephen: okay. it's called "the fall guy." how do you feel about your wife in a rom-com with ken? he's got that kenergy. >> john: yeah. i know i'm kenough. >> stephen: you got the johnergy? in a fight, who would win? jack ryan or ken? >> john: is ryan playing a role or is he himself? if he's playing a role, jack ryan's gonna roll him. but if he is playing himself, he would hand me my lunch. >> stephen: ryan gosling would hand you your ass? >> john: yeah, i think he would kick. >> stephen: you're a big guy, man. >> john: am i? >> stephen: what? you're a big guy. >> john: have i ever proven it to you?
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>> stephen: what? you tried. oh, let's do it right now. no, [bleep] you. right now. right now, damn it. right now. right now. all right, here we go, baby. here we go. i am going to warn our affiliates we might be going long. tell gosling! >> john: i am warning our affiliates, turn away now. turn away. >> stephen: you've gone soft. look at that, you've gone soft. come on, let's do it. ready? >> john: i am, like, twisted. my back. one, two, three. [cheering] >> stephen: "if" opens in theaters on may 17. john krasinski, everybody. we'll be right back with ryan gosling. ♪ ♪
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the economy is simply not working for millions of hard working families. use with caution in dogs with a history of these disorders. they're working harder than ever and they still can't make enough to get by to afford food and medicine to even keep a roof over their heads. we need to build more housing that's truly affordable. we need to address this terrible epidemic of homelessness. we need to invest in good paying jobs, union jobs and investments in our future. this, this is why i'm running for the us senate. i'm adam schiff and i approve this message.
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♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody. welcome back. welcome back to the super bowl show, everybody! folks, my next guest tonight is a movie star who just earned an oscar nomination for being way more than kenough. please welcome back to "the late show,"
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ryan gosling! [cheering] ♪ ♪ thank you very much. thank you for being here. thank you for being here. >> ryan: hi, barbies. hi, kens. >> stephen: happy super bowl. i've got to ask you a question. you grew up in canada. super bowl is not as big a deal there i imagine. you seem sporty, but what was your sport? obviously not american football. what'd you do? >> ryan: i was positive i would be in the nba. >> stephen: really? really? what do you top out at? >> ryan: well, that was the
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problem. that wasn't the only problem. it was the '90s. there was the bulls, it was dream team. it felt like it was shaq's shoe was doing, like, a mall circuit. it came to my town. >> stephen: one shoe or two shoes? >> ryan: one shoe. and you could buy tickets. i waited in line and i saw shaq's shoe, and i saw destiny staring me straight in the face. >> stephen: you saw the size of shaq's shoe and you went, "yes." that's me. >> ryan: i'm going to be that& big. i'm gonna be in the nba and anyone who thinks otherwise is a damn fool. >> stephen: you play a stuntman in the new movie "the fall guy" with the lovely emily blunt. [applause] obviously the -- sure, why not? i'll join you on that one. i have to ask the obvious question. ryan gosling, do you do your own stunts? >> ryan: well, i was prepared to be the first actor to say i have
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done none of my own stunts. i would be very happy to say that. but the film is honoring stunt performers. it has some of the greatest stunt performers in the business today. it's directed by a former stunt performer so they weren't gonna let that happen. i had to do a few things. they dropped me 12 stories off of a building and then they drugged me across the sydney harbor bridge. >> stephen: is that what this is? 'cause i was given this photo and i'm not sure what the context is. >> ryan: that's it. that's just me on a shovel getting drug across the sydney harbor bridge. >> stephen: on the back of a truck as it drives across. and how did that feel? did it feel like a good idea? >> ryan: they shot it very early. because it was the sydney harbor bridge so we didn't want to disrupt traffic. so it was very early. i wasn't fully caffeinated. i just sort of grabbed a shovel and suddenly it happened. we did it a few times. i went back to my trailer and
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slept and i thought, "that was a weird dream." >> stephen: we have a clip here. do you need to tell us what's going on? >> ryan: um. >> stephen: something big. >> ryan: yeah. just -- i don't really know. >> stephen: let's discover it together. this will be fun. jim? >> just wondering after this movie if i don't go to prison and you're not busy, maybe we could go to a beach somewhere. wear a couple of swimming costumes. >> just drink a spicy margarita or something? >> yeah, make some bad decisions. >> okay, sure, yes. >> sound like a plan? >> it's a better plan than this. please be careful! okay, swing him around, go! [cheering] >> stephen: i was hoping you would miss. [laughter] that would have been funny. i've got to talk about the elephant in the room. congratulations on your oscar
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nom for "barbie." what an extraordinary movie. what a fantastic performance. soup to nuts, everybody in this movie is amazing. greta gerwig, when she was here, she said that -- we were talking about you and your fantastic fur coat right there that you wear as ken. fantastic fur coat. she said that you pitched the idea of you doing sort of like a dream ballet with all of this fur and you're wrestling with it and it becomes your coat? i would have paid money to see that. what happened to that? >> ryan: that came to me in a dream. >> stephen: seriously? >> ryan: yes. and it became, i think, a nightmare for greta. we were trying to figure it out. it felt like, you know, the mink was his identity, and so he was having this death of the ego and being reborn out of it. and as soon as i was being reborn, i thought, this is a terrible idea.
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>> stephen: so you were born -- >> ryan: i was born out of the mink. i thought, "this isn't going to work," but it was a placeholder for what became this ken song. >> stephen: "i'm just ken." what does that mean to you? it means, seems to mean so many different things to different people. what does "i'm just ken" mean to you? >> ryan: i would be more curious what -- i wouldn't want to kensplain. you know. yeah. what do you think? >> stephen: "i'm just ken" is accepting yourself for who you are and not needing the approval of others in order to be your best self. >> ryan: that's better. >> stephen: great. i understand you had other suggestions that did make it into the movie. for instance, this right here. can you explain what's going on here? >> ryan: oh, god. >> stephen: what part of this is you? >> ryan: my underpants. >> stephen: i love this.
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this is your idea and the fact that your underwear says ken on it, which i did not notice in the movie. >> ryan: everything was just trying to get barbie to notice me. so i thought if i wrote ken on my underwear, she might say, you know, "nice underwear, ken." and then i would say under where? anything to have a conversation with barbie. >> stephen: sure. we're going to take a quick break here. we'll be right back with more ryan gosling, everybody. stick around. two (luke) so... i hear some of you are concerned about the fact that i'm taking over the company from my great-uncle. well, rest-assured, company's in great hands. hit the vid', marci. (marci) now? (luke) yeah, now. we're bringing together the nation's agents in a super-comprehensive agent directory. (dave) did you know he bought a helicopter? (luke) gathering up-close, detailed info on neighborhoods. and hiring top experts to get you
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this ad? typical. politicians... "he's bad. i'm good." blah, blah. let's shake things up. with katie porter. porter refuses corporate pac money. and leads the fight to ban congressional stock trading. katie porter. taking on big banks to make housing more affordable. and drug company ceos to stop their price gouging. most politicians just fight each other. while katie porter fights for you. for senate - democrat katie porter. i'm katie porter and i approve this message.
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>> stephen: hey, everybody. look at this. we're back with the star of the upcoming "fall guy," mr. ryan gosling. the phrase "i'm kenough" is showing up, this is everywhere. you see this right here. i'm kenough. what i love about this is that it works for any name that ends with -en. it could be i'm kenough, i'm benough, i'm ellenough. we made something for you to wear. it's "i am stephenough." you can take. this is for you. just put that right over there. put that in your collection. very nice. i understand. >> ryan: i have something for you. >> stephen: what? >> ryan: can i give you something as well? >> stephen: of course you may. all right.
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what is it? >> ryan: i have a... where should we put it? >> stephen: right here. right here. [applause] [laughter] thank you! i love it. i have always wanted, i have always wanted my own mojo dojo casa desk. you're the person to ask. these days, there's only one measure by which a man can be ruled and it's do they have kenergy? since you are here and you are the ken. i'm just curious, do you believe -- do i deserve this? do i have the kenergy?
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>> ryan: can i just say something? the kenergy coming off of you is nuclear, bro. [cheering] right? it is nuclear, bro. >> stephen: wow. >> ryan: and i talked to the kens, and we feel it needs to be acknowledged, your kenergy. so we want to knight you into the kendom. release the mink! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [cheering] >> stephen: is this --
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is this... is this the actual coat? >> ryan: this is the actual mink. i'm going to knight you stephen "ken" colbert. >> stephen: my liege. >> ryan: do you solemnly swear to make yourself as smooth and shiny as possible so that you might reflect the awesomeness of barbie? >> stephen: i will be as smooth and shiny as this man here. >> ryan: reach into your pocket. [applause] [cheering] >> stephen: "the fall guy" is in theaters this may. ryan gosling, everybody! we'll be right back!
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you want to see who we are as americans? i'm peter dixon and in kenya...
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we built a hospital that provides maternal care. as a marine... we fought against the taliban and their crimes against women. and in hillary clinton's state department... we took on gender-based violence in the congo. now extremists are banning abortion and contraception right here at home. so, i'm running for congress to help stop them. for your family... and mine. i approved this message because this is who we are.
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democrats agree. conservative republican steve garvey is the wrong choice for the senate. ...our republican opponent here on this stage has voted for donald trump twice. mr. garvey, you voted for him twice... as your own man, what is your decision? garvey is wrong for california. but garvey's surging in the polls. fox news says garvey would be a boost to republican control of the senate. stop garvey. adam schiff for senate. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message.
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>> stephen: good night! ♪ ♪ >> taylor: welcome to "after midnight," the smartest comedy show about the dumbest things on the internet. every night, three comedians tell jokes and compete for points on a fake game show that's really a comedy show.

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