but remy took being jumpy to a whole new level. like rocky, he's going to fly. >> i have to admit, i'm a little jealous. if i had those kind of skills, i would have done track and field. >> probably would have been a pretty good basketball player too. i know you can shoot, but you could have thrown it down. >> i would have loved to be able to dunk. if any cat could do it. >> did you ever do it on a kid's basketball rim? >> oh, all the time, just to lift my spirits when i'm having a bad day. especially if the kids are there. >> swat it out of there. >> there you go. >> probably said more than that. >> i did, yeah. thank you r watching, th >> this week, former president trump once again made the argument that presidents need immunity for anything they do in office. >> i am absolutely entitled to immunity. without presidential immunity, the president cannot function. without presidential immunity,

you have nothing. you don't have a president. >> and now, past presidents enjoying their immunity. >> we have nothing to fear but me. i'll murder all of you! >> we choose to go to the moon not because it is easy but because that's where i run my cockfighting ring. >> mr. gorbachev, i smoke crack! [cheers and applause] >> read my lips. i eat people! >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert"! tonight... jury up and wait! first, stephen welcomes orlando bloom! george takei! and musical guest maggie rogers. featuring louis cato and "the late show" band.

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> stephen: oh, my god. thank you for being here. [cheering] i like the blue. thank you, ladies and gentlemen. thank you, one at all. welcome, my friends in here, out there, all around the world. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. [cheering] it is day two of donald trump's manhattan criminal trial. what many are calling the trial of the "feels like a century." and as we watch the proceedings, we are reminded though the wheels of justice may turn slowly,

eventually a panel of impartial citizen jurors will do the indispensable public service of listening to testimony about donald trump's mushroom dong. [laughter] that's coming up. that's foreshadowing. that's called foreshadowing. well, the wheels of justice hit the nitrous button today, because as of this taping, six jurors have been chosen for trump's criminal trial. [cheers and applause] wow. zero yesterday. in the course of just 24 hours, they went from zero to six! you usually only see those kind of numbers in a kia sorrento! we don't know a lot about these half dozen folks so far, but they do include a person known as juror number one, who will serve as the foreperson during the trial. evidently he works in sales, enjoys the outdoors, and is originally from ireland.

i'm told we have a photo of the foreperson. he's magically impartial! even though they've got six, 18 with alternates. they need to get 12 more. in fact, anticipating a long process, new york sent out over 6,000 summonses, which is around 2,000 more than average. at that rate, they're gonna eventually burn through every available new yorker. by the end, the jury's gonna include a times square buzz lightyear, 40 rats in a trench coat, and lin-manuel miranda. ladies and gentlemen, hold on, order. order. order. order in the court, ladies and gentlemen of the jury once again will juror number seven please refrain from educational rapping?" yesterday, more than half the group was excused for telling the judge they could not be fair and impartial. that's pretty vague.

you might as well just ask, "who wants to leave?" i wouldn't blame them. after all, the job description is "wanted: impartial juror. 4 days a week, $40 a day. benefits include: free wifi and unlimited death threats" one prospective juror. [applause] death threats, sure. one prospective juror who was rejected yesterday for claiming she couldn't be impartial said that in her spare time, she likes to sing, watch tv, and "go to the club." court reporters described her as wearing "apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, with the fur." apparently, as she was walking out, the club-goer told a court officer, "i just couldn't do it." adding, "also, can i get a vodka soda? vodka soda!" no lime!

one of the possible jurors who made it through the vetting yesterday said his radio habits included listening to whatever was on when he was in the shower. but after he hears details of trump's sex life, i'm guessing he'll be listening to a toaster in the bathtub. [laughter] toaster in the bathtub. i like that, "whatever's on." oh, another prospective juror under consideration today was a woman who said "i don't really know what exactly this case is about," explaining that she was away in february and part of march living on a lake with no wifi. oh, my god. take me away to your magic lake where there's no news of donald trump! even though the judge did not allow it on the official questionnaire, trump's lawyer clearly was fishing for potential jurors to give their honest feelings about the former president, telling them "you're not going to offend the court

or even president trump by talking about your opinion of president trump." you're not gonna upset him. he's got thick skin. he's basically a hunk of beef jerky with a layer of bronzer. of course, yesterday, trump fell asleep during the proceedings. he took a little white power nap. but today... today. [applause] [humming] but today, he was sharp, focused, and he fell asleep again. and, and in a totally unrelated story, there's a national adderall shortage. trump... i don't know. that story, this story. no relation. trump must have snoozed for a while, because the court sketch artist had time to draw him. [laughter] well, i think we found the new mascot for celestial seasonings

sleepy crime tea. [cheers and applause] there you go. now, in a criminal trial, the thing is, the defendant must be there every day, as donald trump is starting to learn. yesterday, trump asked the judge for a couple of excused absences. first, he wanted to skip the trial next thursday to attend supreme court arguments about whether he's immune from special counsel jack smith's charges for trying to subvert the 2020 election, a request merchan rejected. that's gotta to be disappointing for trump. because he really wanted to be there in washington with the justices he appointed. "hey, gorsuch. i'm just saying that your neck looks itchy. and m finger is a knife, and my neck is your neck."

[applause] trump also got denied when he asked if he could be exempted from any proceedings that may arise on wednesdays. [laughter] what? no wednesdays? there's no possible better day for a porn star trial than hump day! [cheering] finally, trump asked if he "could attend his son's high school graduation on may 17?" with merchan responding, "it really depends on if we are on time and where we are in the trial." but he has to go the graduation. he already wrote the speech. "mr. valedictorian, you say the future is bright, but the truth is, our country is dying, there is no future, and valerie is not the true prom queen. the election was stolen

from me! stop the steal, crooked valerie!" now, to be clear, judge merchan never said trump couldn't attend his son's graduation, but that did not stop trump from pretending merchan had said that, truthing: "who will explain for me to my wonderful son barron, who is a great student at a fantastic school, that his dad will likely not be allowed to attend his graduation ceremony?" i don't blame him for wanting someone else to do that. "son, you know how right after you were born, i cheated on your mom by banging a porn star? oh, you didn't know that? you wanna be on my jury?" [laughter] a lot of people know that. [applause] trump doesn't like to travel too far from home without an angry mob. so, before the trial, he put out

a general call to the faithful to show up in numbers, truthing: "tomorrow morning i'll be in criminal court before a totally conflicted judge. maga 2024! see you tomorrow." classic maga mob invitation. he even sent cards. please select chicken, fish, or sharpen flagpole. trump's local supporters also put out the call, promoting a courthouse "rally for president trump" organized by the new york young republican club. yes, the new york young republicans. you know their motto: "i just got kicked out of the strip club." so let's see the maga mob that turned out on the first day to support their president. okay. that crowd is "whelming." one republican in attendance explain the turnout this way.

"i just think that people are kind of just tired of these trials." she's right. one guy's so tired, he keeps falling asleep in front of the judge. how are we doing on time? just a moment! i'm getting breaking monkey news! i've just learned that apparently every year a story pops up that some monkeys in florida could give you herpes, which i believe is also the motto on their state flag. officials are concerned because the monkeys in question tested positive for herpes b. that's spooky. on the other hand, kudos to whoever trained them to go to quest diagnostics and remember to bring their insurance card. now, specifically, these herpes-spreaders are rhesus macaques. so i'd like to give a public service message to all my florida viewers. jim? floridians, no matter how tempting it may be, do not touch macaque.

because, this is important. no! this is an important message. macaque is riddled with herpes. don't believe me? i could send you pictures of macaque that would make your skin crawl. i understand why you'd be tempted to, but remember: don't pet macaque. and for god's sake: don't kiss macaque. we got a great show for you tonight! [cheering] my guests are orlando bloom and george takei. but when we come back, i launch my own streaming service. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: "the late show with stephen colbert" sponsored by target.

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with spring black friday savings, now at the home depot... you can power your spring. and only need one battery to do it all. gas—like power, endless possibilities, only at the home depot. your power source. ♪ ♪>> stephen: everybody, welcoe back. give it up for louis cato and "the late show" band right over there. folks, it is no way pandering to

say that i have the best audience in television. [cheers and applause] you know that. you know that. can we fact-check that? here's a reason why. here's the thing, it's not pandering when they are this physically attractive. i appreciate my audience now more than ever, because these days there are so many options of what they can watch. every time you turn around, it feels like there's a new streaming service. you've got your hulu, your netflix, your prime, your crackle, and even your acorn tv. i did not make that up. i'm not sure what it does. i assume it's the number one streaming service for squirrls? even "the late show" is streaming. you can watch us on paramount+. paramount+: a mountain of mostly "yellostone." with all these streaming services out there, i want in.

okay? that's why i'm proud to announce the launch of my new venture, stephen+. [cheering] you know our slogan. stephen+. "get soaked in our hot stream!" i was not involved in the creation of that slogan and i love it. and i promise stephen+ will have all sorts of original content that you are sure to love. for example, sport. as you know, this year the summer olympics are taking place in paris, the home of cycling, fencing, and the most challenging sport of all: trying to eat a croissant without making a huge mess. every four years, viewers get pumped up for the olympics with inspirational ads like this one. ♪ ♪ that man spent decades of his life training to use a big stick

to jump over a smaller stick and he did it. and now i feel like i could do it too! i know what you're wondering. will the summer olympics be on stephen+? absolutely... not. we could not afford them. and my lawyers have informed me i'm legally barred from even talking about them. but who needs the summer games? because we have something that is guaranteed to be even sooner. >> nbc may have the summer and winter games but only stephen plus has the spring olympics. by the way, lawyers, these art rings. they are triangles. totally different shape. witness the passion of events like cross-country running with high pollen count. the focus and coordination of synchronized lawn mowing.

cycling. through jackets to find the right one for today's weather. >> oh, no. the vast is to light. she is chilly. >> and team sports like the 100-meter when his next easter? >> the first sunday after the first full moon on or after the spring equinox. they had four years to prepare for this. >> the spring break triathlon. drinking. >> look at becky go. >> dancing. >> becky scott moves. oh, she's okay. >> looking for becky. >> she's wandered off again, folks. >> it's the joy of victory. >> they have done it. they have found becky. >> the spring olympics, only on stephen plus. stephen plus. all the tv that was left. >> stephen: we'll be right back with orlando bloom!

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doing okay? hey, everybody purges talking to my body. welcome back. ladies and gentlemen, you know my first guest from films such as "the lord of the rings," "pirates of the caribbean," and "gran turismo." you can now seem him in the limited docuseries, "orlando bloom: to the edge." ♪ ♪ >> hard, hard, hard, hard, hard, [bleep]. >> stephen: please welcome to "the late show," orlando bloom. [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ no, no, no. thank you. >> orlando: together. one, two, three. >> stephen: first of all, lovely to see you. >> orlando: you too. >> stephen: i like the chocolate. >> orlando: i liked it too. that's why i chose it. >> stephen: we just saw this clip. your show makes me nervous. i've seen some other little clips of things you've done and they make me nervous too. we'll talk about those in the second. what are all the dangerous pursuits you're doing? >> orlando: in the show. weighing-suiting. that's what that was. >> stephen: you looked like a flying squirrel. >> orlando: the second episode

is dive in my free dove to 37 meters in one breath. the third episode was climbing. i climbed in moab, a pinnacle. i stood on the top. it was like a lightning rod i felt. i was like "oh." >> stephen: i have seen clips of all of them. they all make me nervous. which once cured you the most? >> orlando: all of them individually and independently in their own special particular messed up way. it's totally unnatural to jump out of plane and skydive but once you learn that, you go this is fine. wing-suiting, it's like a knife edge. things can go south very, very quickly. >> stephen: you are going south very quickly. >> orlando: actually -- but free diving is terrifying

because emotionally and mentally you're kind of like, you're going down and the claustrophobia of what it feels like and then for me i was like, how do i come back up holding breath? >> stephen: this is that episode. coming up. how far down did you say you went? >> orlando: i think i got to 102 feet. 37 meters. >> stephen: you have to be an experienced scuba diver to go down to 100. dives are normally around 60 or 50 feet. how long down and how long up? >> orlando: i was probably about two and a half minutes underwater. >> stephen: okay. >> orlando: it's pretty wild. i also had about a five day window to do it. >> stephen: what do you mean? you had to learn the whole thing in five days? >> orlando: i was in the water doing that in a five day window but when i had done prior to that was these breath exercises learn to hold my breath for a long period of time so i could get comfortable with that. the thing i found most

challenging about diving, free diving, i was wearing a mask and equalizing. i had a lot of challenges with equalizing which is typically something that can be an issue. >> stephen: i have a quick follow-up question. that is, why? [laughter] orlando bloom. why? why would you do this? why is this the thing that you're doing for our amusement? you're putting yourself in danger so we get our jollies out of it. where did this come from? have you always been like an adrenaline junkie? >> orlando: probably little bit for sure. i think kobe was a challenging time for everyone. i hate to bring up the c word. i was pretty aware and i felt the fear around me at the time, what am i going to do when i come out of this and what i wanted to do something that showed longevity in life and how to live really clean living life so you can live longer they were like, you can get any

advice on that from any studio. >> stephen: what if we dropped you out of a plane. >> orlando: throw you to the bottom of the ocean. see if you can climb this. >> stephen: how about something with your shirt off, orlando? how about that? what if we do that? [cheering] >> orlando: let's do it. so there was a unique time and i think so many people on the planet, i was like, what am i going to do? >> stephen: something outdoors, energetic. >> orlando: overcoming fear. what does that look like? for other people it was like, going to get through this day? >> stephen: you're like, let's dive to the bottom of the ocean. no covid down there. we have to take a break. please don't go. you don't go because we'll be right ck with more orlando bloom. stick around. serum hair mask with peptide complex. fortifies hair bonds at a molecular level.

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to improve joint comfort in 7 days, with significant improvement over time. ( ♪♪ ) >> stephen: while you were gone, orlando have the shirt off. we are back with the star of "orlando bloom: to the edge." orlando bloom. orlando bloom, your partner katy perry, you can see her in this as well. she appears in this as well. did you have to clear this idea with her or did she just find out about it later? because evie needs to give me approval to go to the top of a very large escalator. >> orlando: [laughs] obviously she's fully supportive.

we fully support one another and all of our ventures but i don't think she quite grasped what i would be doing until i came home from work and i was like, clearly under severe stress. physical, emotional, mental stress from some other things have been going through. she was like, are you okay? is ordinarily i'm super chill. >> stephen: was there anything that was pitched to you and you said i don't want to do that. >> orlando: no but we thought about sharks, great whites out of the cage. >> stephen: out of the cage? like wearing a lucky ham or something? what? >> orlando: just for the show. >> stephen: you said no? no great whites. >> orlando: they said no. it's interesting because there were so many, you see 15 seconds of the clip on social media and it feels like you're seeing, it's like somebody has become an expert to achieve that but it feels like you're seeing 15

seconds so anyone can do it. from my experience, the people in the show, these experts that showed me what to do. they are fully committed to this lifestyle. they are geniuses at what they do and they have studied and worked to follow protocol. the takeaway was there super capable, super remarkable. how do i do that question marks. how did you do about the climbing? >> orlando: terrified. the exposure was so much. 400 feet in the air. nothing around me. >> stephen: you are climbing like you've got your toes on something. >> orlando: is not going to hold? i felt super challenged by the climb. mostly the physical aspect of it as well. aside from the exposure. did you find muscles --

oh, i have a muscle here. >> stephen: my legs which is go elvis on me. i was so nervous. it was not my idea. evie booked the trip and said have a good time. she goes, i'm going to the beach. your fully insured. >> orlando: i made sure the life insurance was up-to-date. >> stephen: you've always been a little rough-and-tumble. you broke your back when you were 19. if i'm not mistaken you are cast 19. three to 20. >> stephen: how much longer after you broke your back? >> orlando: months. >> stephen: were you doing this. >> orlando: [laughs] >> stephen: that's you riding a horse. these things, these things feel like they should be further apart in time. did you tell peter jackson you had a broken back when he hired you? >> orlando: i might not have mentioned that. i'm not sure that would've been wise. >> stephen: orlando. [applause] please take care of yourself. >> orlando: i'll do my best. >> stephen: your treasure. please do not hurt herself.

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activist, and author you know as hikaru sulu from "star trek." he has just written a new children's book: "my lost freedom." please welcome back to "the late show," george takei. [cheers and applause] good to see you, as always. nice to see you. >> george: live long and prosper. >> stephen: before we get started, this is a tuesday and we have a tradition here at "the late show" called tea for tuesday. during rehearsal we have a new tea everywhere can we like to do tea for tuesday with you tonight because i understand you drink tea every day. >> george: i'm an addict, yes. >> stephen: do have a favorite style? >> george: green tea, lots of antioxidants. >> stephen: we have our tea for tuesday tea. we have this little box. here's the tea which i'll serve in just a moment. okay. here we go. we have two different cups for us. your choice. >> george: property caps. >> stephen: which would you like, sir? >> george: i'll take the ceramic.

>> stephen: i will take the silver black porcelain one. we have a spoon every week. this week's spoon is not very firm. >> george: california. >> stephen: this week's tea is, i'll pour you a little this is micro oxidized kamairicha from sayama, japan. and if you wouldn't mind my pronunciation. >> george: i think if you take a sip of that, i will give you the proper pronunciation in japanese. >> stephen: what is that word? >> george: kamairicha. it comes from sayama, japan. let me taste a little. >> stephen: have you been watching that "shogun." we had anna sawei last night. >> george: i didn't see it

last night. i was peddling books. [laughs] >> stephen: "my lost freedom." george takei. what did your parents think of your wanting to pursue a life enacting? >> george: and let them know in gradual steps. you know, as a child, as the book will tell you, we were incarcerated simply because we looked like this. like the people who bombed pearl harbor. >> stephen: world war ii internment camp for the japanese. >> george: america was swept up by war hysteria. racism. that's what it was, that combination. even the president of the united states got swept up in that, franklin delano roosevelt. signed an executive order 9066 which ordered all japanese

americans on the west coast, approximately 125,000 of us to be summarily rounded up with no charge, no trial, no due pro process. an imprisoned in ten hardware prison camps and some of the most god-awful places, the most desolate. we were sent to the swamps of arkansas. others were sent to the blistering hot desert of arizona, living in black tarpaper barracks. others were on the cold wind swept high plains of wyoming, idaho, utah, colorado. and two of the most desolate places in california. and it was there in that camp that -- well, read the book and you'll learn all about it. it's called "my lost freedom." >> stephen: don't tell them the whole story. >> george: we want you to buy and have it as part of your

library collection. this is meant for two generations. it's a children's picture book. so the parents can read to their little ones, and introduce them to this chapter of american history. but there are so many adults that know very little about that chapter of american history. and so i hope the parents reading the book to their kiddies will have their curiosity piqued. >> stephen: i love this photograph. a cyprus knee that was your father's. he acquired this while you were in the camps. what's the significance of this? >> george: we were incarcerated in the swamps of arkansas. there is a barbed wire fence. they had cleared off some of the land and chop the trees down.

beyond the fence was the swamp. these huge trees rising up out of black murky water and their roots came out of the water nd twisted and turned in and out like a snake. my father's philosophy was endurance isn't just teeth gritting muscle flexing strength for its divine beauty under harsh circumstances, to know why you are enduring. we are enduring to survive and to find beauty or create our own. he got permission to go outside the barbed wire fence. he waited out and got this tree knee i guess and sawed it off, brought it back, boiled it in the huge oil drum, and soften the bark and peeled it off. lo and behold, mother nature's

sculpture. in many ways, this sort of looks like our family. there are five knots. the biggest one, i see my father there. the next big one is my mother. i was the oldest in the family. i was 5 years old at the time. my brother henry was 4 years old. so the next two bulbs are henry and me. and the small bump near the second to the tall bump is our baby sister being carried by our mother. and we brought the tree not with us. and then we, after the war when we were released, we brought it back to los angeles with us. and it was always in the living room where we lived. and after my father passed, i thought i would drop it on my mother and see how she's doing,

walked into the living room, and where that sculpture was was empty. i said, mama where is daddy's kobu and she said it reminds me too much of camp. i put it in the garage. i said mama, you don't want it? if you don't, can i have it? she said take it. take it. it's in my home in the library still there is the part of my father that's still with me from the prison camp. [applause] >> stephen: thank you so much for being here. "my lost freedom" is on sale now. george takei, everybody. we'll be right back with a performance by maggie rogers.

>> stephen: and now, performing "the kill" from her new album "don't forget me," maggie rogers. ♪ ♪ ♪ one of these days ♪ ♪ i'm gonna wake up smiling ♪ ♪ one of these days ♪

♪ i'm gonna cry ♪ ♪ when all of the years ♪ ♪ start to blend in together ♪ ♪ i watch 'em disappear ♪ ♪ in your eyes ♪ ♪ remember the days we used to ♪ ♪ drive upstate ♪ ♪ singing indie-rock songs ♪ ♪ in the car ♪ ♪ you wore your fresh leather ♪ ♪ and blamed it on the weather ♪ ♪ for being the reason ♪ ♪ you were so difficult ♪ ♪ but so invincible ♪ ♪ irresistible ♪ ♪ but i loved you still ♪ ♪ you kept my secrets ♪ ♪ and stole my weaknesses ♪ ♪ in your white t-shirt ♪ ♪ but i couldn't ♪ ♪ fill the shoes ♪ ♪ you laid down for me ♪ ♪ from the girls ♪ ♪ that came before ♪ ♪ i was all the way in ♪ ♪ you were halfway out ♪ ♪ the door ♪ ♪ oh, i was an animal ♪ ♪ making my way up the hill ♪ ♪ and you were going in ♪ ♪ for the kill ♪

♪ and you were going in ♪ ♪ for the kill ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ one of these days i'm gonna ♪ ♪ wake up fresh ♪ ♪ and wipe all the past ♪ ♪ from my eyes ♪ ♪ curl up next to you ♪ ♪ in tall grass, sunshine ♪ ♪ and wrap my body's shape ♪ ♪ 'round your side ♪ ♪ remember the days ♪ ♪ we used to ideate ♪ ♪ about what we would do ♪ ♪ all our lives ♪ ♪ i'd be a singer ♪ ♪ and an old bourbon drinker ♪ ♪ oh, and we'd have a band ♪ ♪ on the side ♪ ♪ i know i was so difficult ♪ ♪ but so invincible ♪ ♪ irresistible ♪ ♪ but you loved me still ♪ ♪ i kept your secrets ♪ ♪ and sole your weaknesses ♪

♪ in your white t-shirt ♪ ♪ but you couldn't ♪ ♪ fill the shoes ♪ ♪ i laid down for you ♪ ♪ from the guys ♪ ♪ that came before ♪ ♪ you were all the way in ♪ ♪ i was halfway out the door ♪ ♪ oh, you were an animal ♪ ♪ making your way up the hill ♪ ♪ and i was going in ♪ ♪ for the kill ♪ ♪ oh, all of our lives ♪ ♪ was it worth it? ♪ ♪ ooh ♪ ♪ or were we just ♪ ♪ wasting time? ♪ ♪ 'cause we were hurting ♪ ♪ but i know that you know ♪ ♪ that i know you best ♪ ♪ and i know that we both ♪ ♪ could forget all the rest ♪ ♪ if we just can admit ♪ ♪ that we both were ♪ ♪ so difficult ♪ ♪ but so invincible ♪ ♪ irresistible ♪

♪ but i loved you still ♪ ♪ you kept my secrets ♪ ♪ and stole my weaknesses ♪ ♪ in your white t-shirt ♪ ♪ but i couldn't ♪ ♪ fill the shoes ♪ ♪ you laid down for me ♪ ♪ from the ones ♪ ♪ that came before ♪ ♪ i was all the way in ♪ ♪ you were halfway ♪ ♪ out the door ♪ ♪ oh, i was an animal ♪ ♪ making my way up the hill ♪ ♪ and you were going in ♪ ♪ for the kill ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah! oh, oh, oh, oh! yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪ oh, we were going in ♪ ♪ for the kill ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: maggie rogers, everybody. that's it for "the late show." good night!