product of a recent crime scene. interesting. >> likely story. >> the tile is made of a type of natural limestone. that's is known to contain fossils. it is odd, isn't it? >> it is. >> how do they study that and know that? and if you came across that would you go hmm. i think i would just -- >> i'd wonder, hey, where's jimmy bob been? i haven't seen him in years. >> he came here for thanksgiving once. never left the house. >> that's right. >> what gives? >> anyway, thanks for watching. late show with stephen colbert is next. news c tinues stream >> south dakota governor kristi noem, considered to be in the running to become former president trump's pick for vice president, is responding to the backlash over a story in her upcoming memoir. in the book, noem said she shot and killed her 14-month-old puppy, named cricket, for bad behavior.

♪ ♪ mom! dad! ♪ ♪ kristi! kabluey! >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert"! tonight... in the doghouse! plus, stephen welcomes jean smart! and gayle rankin! featuring louis cato and "the late show" band. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

>> stephen: thanks. please have a seat come everybody. you're very kind. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. [cheering] we are just -- what are we now? approximately six months away from the 2024 presidential election, which, if the campaign so far is any indication, is roughly three years from now. but before the general election officially kicks in, of course, trump needs to pick a running mate. because his last one, for some reason, just didn't hang in there. one person who clearly wants this gig desperately is south dakota governor and woman who told her hair stylist, "give me the whole cast of friends," kristi noem. now, here's the thing about

noem. noem revealed something, uh, fascinating in her soon-to-be-released memoir. and warning: if you like puppies, you're not gonna like kristi noem. because in her new book, noem admitted to killing her dog. now, i know that sounds terrible. [booing] look, i know it sounds terrible. but it's much worse. 'cause this wasn't some rabid 90-pound hellhound on a meth bender. it was a 14-month-old wirehaired pointer named cricket. yes, a puppy named cricket. reminds me of stephen king's first draft of "cujo," "snuggles." and it is worth pointing out: no one made noem confess to puppy-snuffing. she volunteered this information, even saying: "i guess if i were a better politician, i wouldn't tell the story here." oh, i don't know. i remember william henry harrison's famed slogan,

"tippicanoe and i beat a raccoon to death with my bare hands." so why, why did cricket need to kick it? according to noem, the problem was that cricket was "untrainable." well, yeah. she was 14 months old! i can only imagine kristi noem with the dog trainer. "uh, so, governor, we've evaluated cricket, and i think we should --" "kill her?" "no, i was thinking a special collar --" "that would kill her slowly?" here's what happened, according to noem, again, in a story that no one asked her to tell us, she claims that she brought cricket on a pheasant hunt, but cricket ruined the hunt, going "out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life". but who among us hasn't seen a dog running through the fields, not a care in the world, and thought "you deserve to die"?

[laughter] stay hydrated 'cause there's a lot of these jokes coming. cricket made the fatal mistake of continuing to be a normal puppy on the way home, when, according to noem, they stopped at a local family's farm, where cricket attacked the family's chickens. governor noem, if you don't like untrainable animals that wolf down chicken, i have bad news about your party's nominee. [cheering] but noem had noem choice. because if there's one thing no one should ever have to witness, it's the loss of man's best friend, a chicken. becaue when you have a dead chicken, what can you possibly do? rub it with olive oil? maybe a sprig of thyme, some lemon, salt, pepper, herbs de provence? lightly cover in foil

and roast for an hour at 425? what? after cricket killed the chickens, noem writes, and i swear this is all from her book, cricket was "the picture of pure joy," adding, "i hated that dog." okay, this book is starting to sound less like a political memoir and more like the scrawled manifesto of a guy whose neighbors said "he just kinda kept to himself, you know?" something about that happy puppy clearly pushed noem over the edge. she writes, "at that moment, i realized i had to put her down." so, she got her gun and led cricket to a gravel pit. no! bad psycho governor! no! sit! down! bad! stay... stay away from dogs! [applause] ♪ ♪ by the way, the actual title

of noem's book where she tells this story is "no going back." better than her first drafts, "old yeller 2: he had it comin'" and "all dogs go to gravel pit." but it did not stop there. because shooting the dog just reminded noem that she had other animals that were shootable. according to her book, her family also owned a male goat, and noem decided to kill the goat the same way she had just killed cricket the dog. oh, my god! what kind of reverse john wick farm is she running out there? so why did she decide to kill a second innocent animal? noem writes that the goat was "nasty and mean", and smelled "disgusting, musky, and rancid." so...a goat. that's what they're like. there's a reason no one ever comes up to you and goes [sniffing] "mmm, you smell like a goat!" so just to recap.

let's make sure i got this right. she killed a puppy for being happy and a goat for smelling bad. she's just killing animals for being animals! "that rooster just crowed at dawn." "that cat is licking its own butthole." you know what? "that elephant never forgets. he's gonna testify to the cops about how i killed these other animals." now, noem took this goat and, you guessed it, "dragged him to a gravel pit." but that's where the dead dog is! we actually have footage of the goat's reaction on seeing the gravel pit. [braying] so, then she shot the goat in the pit. and i don't want to get into semantics, but if there's two dead animals in there, it's no longer a gravel pit. it's a dead animal pit, featuring gravel. but governor noem says that, sad or not, this is all just part of farm life that any child can learn about from the classic see n' say.

>> "the cow says >> "please! i have a family! i'm beggin' you! my uncle has money!" >> stephen: donald trump's hush money trial took a break today to observe passover, but a lot happened while we were on break last week. specifically, there were unconfirmed allegations that donald trump was actually farting in the courtroom, and he was doing so while falling asleep. "that's right. farting while falling asleep, or, as i call it, multitasking. no, i do it a lot. i'm a great multitasker. i'm a great multitasker. sometimes, when i cough, i pee a little, and when i burp, i puke just a bit. sorry, ladies. i'm married. not that it's ever mattered." inside the courtroom, trump's lawyers argued that

the former president didn't pay off stormy daniels to help his election campaign, which would be illegal. he was merely fighting back to protect his family. the prosecution rebutted this claim with their ke witness. former "national enquirer" publisher and divorced pringles man, david pecker. pecker testified about how he used the "national enquirer" to buy and then never publish unflattering stories about trump, a practice known as "catch and kill." which is also another early title of kristi noem's book. [applause] pecker specifically testified that, when it came to the payments, trump's family was never mentioned. instead, he explicitly and repeatedly said that he had been trying to help trump's election chances, acting as trump's "eyes and ears." i gotta say, if you're gonna act as any of trump's body parts, eyes and ears are probably the safest choice. pecker explained after catching and killing a story about trump having sex with playboy playmate karen mcdougal,

pecker's lawyers warned him that it was potentially a crime and that pecker may have already broken campaign finance law by paying mcdougal. which of course asks the eternal question: if publisher pecker payed a playboy playmate, how many playboy playmates did publisher pecker pay? i don't think i got that right. playboy? so when it came time to pay off stormy daniels, pecker told trump's lawyer michael cohen, "i am not purchasing this story. i am not going to be involved with a porn star." so instead, michael cohen paid $130,000 in hush money to stormy daniels himself, and trump later repaid him with a series of checks. of course paying off a porn star in installments is technically called the "getting laid-away" plan. [cheering] if you only knew.

if you only knew what we just went through to get to that joke. beautiful people. but covering up for trump's affairs was just the tip of the pecker. he used the "national enquirer" to go after trump's campaign rivals with headlines like: "it's over for pervy ted. cruz's five secret mistresses!" that is shocking. also, completely unbelievable. if you're going to make up lies, about ted cruz, keep them realistic, like, "ted cruz caught dumpster diving for new beard." we got a great show for you tonight! my guests are jean smart and "cabaret" star gayle rankin. but when we come back, science! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: "the late show

with stephen colbert" sponsored by target. meet the new target circle, the best way to get more target.

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you are at increased risk for pneumococcal pneumonia. prevnar 20® is approved in adults to help prevent infections from 20 strains of the bacteria that cause pneumococcal pneumonia. in just one dose. don't get prevnar 20® if you've had a severe allergic reaction to the vaccine or its ingredients. adults with weakened immune systems may have a lower response to the vaccine. the most common side effects were pain and swelling at the injection site, muscle pain, fatigue, headache, and joint pain. i want to be able to keep my plans. i don't want to risk ending up in the hospital with pneumococcal pneumonia. that's why i chose prevnar 20®. ask your doctor or pharmacist about the pfizer vaccine for pneumococcal pneumonia. ♪ ♪ >> stephen: louis cato and "the late show" bands,

everybody, right there. right there. now, folks, science. science, folks. now that that's out of the way, it's time for my science-based science segment... >> the sound of science! ♪ hello, science ♪ ♪ my old friend ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: it brings hope to a worry world is what it does. first up, scientists recently employed tiny treadmills to show how fruit flies walk. and also how, like humans, they eventually just use the treadmill to hang their laundry. next up, new studies found that patients with female doctors have a lower risk of death and hospital readmission rates. to which your angriest uncle replied, "i need a man-doctor who i can have a beer with before he completely misdiagnoses my myocardial infarc."

[applause] next up, "the moon brought a wild but precarious fish orgy to california's beaches." okay, are we just taking headlines straight from bjork lyrics now? "the moon brought a wild and precarious fish orgy to california's beaches. they whisper their secrets! [whispers] ahhhhhh!" ahhh! [laughter] i love her. it's all part of a unique mating ritual called the grunion run. i've had the grunion runs. it is not pleasant. next up, "some bumblebees can survive underwater for up to a week, a new study has shown." reached for comment, the bumblebees said, "oh, you ran on tiny treadmills? that's cute. for a week!" they tried to drown me." according to one of the study's authors, the result was surprising because, quote

"these are terrestrial organisms. they're not really designed to be underwater." thank you. not sure we needed science to point that out. looking forward to the next research paper, "huh, i guess koalas aren't3 supposed to go in the freezer." ahhh! nex up, in sketchy medical diagnosis news, an app that claims to detect stds with photos accidentally diagnosed a penis cake. without a doubt, the most upsetting episode of "is it cake?" this is a little off-topic. this is a little off-topic. but tat is not a penis cake. if you see on the side right here, that is a stick. technically that's a penis

fritter. the app is called calmara and here's how it works. first, a user concerned about their partner's sexual health status just snaps a photo of the partner's penis and uploads it to calmara. i'm sure that really sets the mood. you know you light a scented candle, dim the lights, and then your junk is photographed by someone you met at a bar two hours ago and uploaded to an app you've never heard of. diagnosis. diagnosis. your penis has the grunion runs. just keep going. that is not worth going back for. once uploaded, in seconds, the site scans the image and returns one of two messages: "clear! no visible signs of stis spotted for now." or "hold! we spotted something sus." sus? well, at least the app uses standard medical terminology. "uh, yo dawg, your blood pressure is totally goated. 210 over 123? holla!"

now, not-even-a-little shockingly, privacy and public health experts have pointed with alarm to a number of significant oversights in calmara's design. yes, this is way beyond hackers getting your social security number. "uh, mr. wilson, yes. this is chase bank. did your testicles recently open up a credit card at williams sonoma? 'cause they just bought ten stand mixers and a 1,000 bucks worth of peppermint bark. merry christmas." next up, "for the first time in nearly a century, physicists have identified a brand-new type of magnetic material" called altermagnets, adding that "they are already here with us. they were just hidden to us." that's a little ominous. "the altermagnets have always been here. hidden, watching.

and they are displeased." evidently, "materials get their magnetism from their atoms. the atoms have spin, a quantum mechanical property bestowed by the atoms' electrons. in altermagnets, the atoms' spins alternate. but not only are the spins of neighboring atoms opposite, but the atoms are also rotated." that's a little hard to follow. thankfully, the researchers have also announced the discovery in layman's terms. ♪ water, fire, air and dirt [bleep] magnets how do they work? ♪ until next time, this has been... ♪ the sound of science ♪ we'll be right back with jean smart. i'm a bird stuck in larry bird's attic. and i'm goin' cuckoo.

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♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody. welcome back. [cheers and applause] welcome back, everybody. ladies and gentlemen, my first guest is an emmy-winning actor you know from "mare of eastown,"

"fargo," and "designing women." she now stars in "hacks." >> okay, you're insane. look at this. >> i am. that's the problem. >> it's gorgeous. the crinoline detailing alone. >> i don't know what to tell you. it's fugly ass. it's giving big bird. >> you know nothing about fashion. >> you can wear whatever you want. >> i can and i will. everybody loves this dress. damien, marcus, my stylist. >> everyone on your payroll. >> okay. all right. i'm going to prove you wrong. hi. can you please send up a bellhop? a gay one. >> my god.

>> stephen: please welcome jean smart! ♪ ♪ hello, jean. [cheers and applause] it's so lovely to have you on. >> jean: thank you. >> stephen: i have been a longtime fan. >> jean: thank you. right back at you. to be only try to do this before but i got over that one point. we had to postpone. very excited for "hacks" season three. may 2nd. you have a storied career, broadway, five emmys. i understand that you started off in more humble, homey conditions as an actress. >> jean: i was always the family ham. my older sister was an

organizer. we would put on plays in the neighbors garage. who would sell popcorn and sell tickets. >> stephen: in the neighbors garage? >> jean: the next-door neighbor garage. >> stephen: why there is not yours? >> jean: their house was bigger. >> stephen: did you charge for the popcorn? did you charge for the tickets? >> jean: yes. we are scottish. >> stephen: how much would you charge? >> jean: $0.25 or something. my sister was in charge. >> stephen: would you do originals? or classics? >> jean: [laughs] "streetcar." "12 angry men." >> stephen: your one-woman show of "12 angry men." >> jean: there was something, a weird one act about cinderella or something. >> stephen: who was the audience? neighborhood kids or parents? >> jean: and parents.

it was great. this was before cell phones and game boys. we would put on parades. i was a bride in one parade. my sister. i had a veil. i was pulled in a way again. >> stephen: so instead of santa claus at the end of the parade, the bride. >> jean: i wanted to marry bobby sawyer but he wanted to be the master. so i married billy ferguson. >> stephen: where those guys? >> jean: seattle. >> stephen: is that where you grew up? seattle? i do know that. this season, your character deborah vance is vying for possibly getting a position as a host of a late-night show. do i have that correct? >> jean: yours, actually. >> stephen: my show? [laughter] i could use a break. did you do any ride along? what have you learned about the

gig doing this part? >> jean: no, i haven't done any ride longs but i love watching late-night shows. guests. pretty always expect guests. a mug or a good story, some something. >> stephen: if the guests bring their own mug, i'm pretty insulted. >> jean: i actually have brought you a treat. spoon you brought me something? very few people bring me presents. >> jean: it's not a treat treat. it's not edible. i'm going to for the first time ever do impressions on national television on your show. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: it's always nice, it's always nice when the guest has a bit. impression is a bit. i do know you did impressions. >> jean: can you say you do impressions if you only do two? >> stephen: yes, impressions, plural. >> jean: isn't it like saying that you're a cook annually make

spaghetti and toast or something? >> stephen: depends on how good the spaghetti is. >> jean: i do dame maggie smith. and woody woodpecker. [laughter] i have a wide array. [laughter] >> stephen: you run the gamut. which one do you want to do first? >> jean: oh, god, why did i say this? dame maggie smith from "downton abbey." >> stephen: okay. >> jean: oh, god. i'm going to blow this. [british accent] i've never insulted anyone. i've merely described them accurately. [cheering] >> stephen: and now, bring it home with woody woodpecker. >> jean: i do this sometimes

on the set. i've done it on the set to wake everybody up like it when i am or something. >> stphen: everyone is trying to get the lighting right. >> jean: [raucous cackling] [cheers and applause] that one was not good. i've had better ones. >> stephen: that is half funny and half terrifying. that's what you don't want to hear from the dark figure rushed over your bed in the middle of the night. we have to take a quick break. don't go away. we'll be right back with more jean smart, everybody. stick around. feeling sluggish or weighed down? could be a sign that your digestive system isn't at its best. but a little metamucil everyday can help. metamucil's psyllium fiber gels to trap and remove the waste that weighs you down and also helps lower cholesterol and slows sugar absorption to promote healthy blood sugar levels. so you can feel lighter and more energetic. lighten everyday the metamucil way.

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>> stephen: hey, look at this. we are back with the star of "hacks." it's jean smart, everybody. now, now then. your costar in "hacks" is the lovely and talented hannah einbinder. she made her late-night debut on the stage. >> jean: that was the first time i ever saw her. the night before i was going to meet her and audition with her, i googled her and saw her on your show. i said, this is the girl. she's got to be the one. >> stephen: she was on my show and you saw her. don't you think we should get a little -- a little something. >> jean: my scottish

grandmother. 5% each? 5105. >> stephen: daddy should get his beak wet, that's all i'm saying. that's a scottish phrase, isn't it? you guys, you're always slinging insults at each other. do you enjoy the playful confrontation between the characters? >> jean: i do. we do it offstage too. i'm always texting her rude, awful things. >> stephen: and h.r. knows nothing about this. >> jean: abusing her as a part of the fun of the job. >> stephen: its back story. i understand you had to get physical with her at one point. >> jean: oh, yeah, that was hard. it was season one. now it would be easy. i had to slap her. i had to slap her hard and i've never slapped anybody in the face. so that was really upsetting. she is so dear. of course i only made it worse by having to slap her 27 times the things i couldn't get it right. >> stephen: you are holding back.

she had tears in her eyes. she is finally going "jean, just hit me." bam. >> stephen: more practice? >> jean: can i hit you? no! i'm not going to hate you. >> stephen: what? okay. >> jean: seriously. [cheers and applause] i can't hate you. >> stephen: you know this one, you hit here? >> jean: i have nails. >> stephen: oh! >> jean: is this mine or yours? still mine is over here. mine is hot. did you ever do stand up? >> jean: no, too scary. >> stephen: i admire the people who do it but i never did. do enjoy pretending? >> jean: it's my favorite part of the show. we have these wonderful extras who are paid to laugh, so it's fantastic. >> stephen: just like these people, paid to laugh.

[applause] >> jean: [laughs] all of the fun, none of the risk. >> stephen: you have a lovely laugh. >> jean: thank you. >> stephen: do you get that often? >> jean: i don't know if it's lovely. it's sort of like woody woodpecker. >> stephen: it's clear. he would stand out in the crowd. >> jean: my darling late husband, when i met him he was doing a play and so he invited me to come and see the play. it was a terrible romantic comedy but he was very, very good in it. i went a few times. when i would laugh, it kind of got the audience going. his producer came to me and said that i had to come every time there was a critic. so i went about seven more times. >> stephen: i know the feeling. there's a seat out there, e1 in the audience and that is for evie, my wife. that's her seat. >> jean: seriously? i love that! >> stephen: so i can see her. >> jean: and she still thinks you're funny? >> stephen: she does. >> jean: how many years has it

been? >> stephen: still thinks i'm funny. the drugs are working. edibles are amazing. >> jean: [laughs] >> stephen: is a stage actress, one of the things about film as you can break and you can recover. but on stage, you can't. what you do that night is with the audience gets. paid once the hardest? i try to be professional but i have broken hard several times. >> jean: it's scary. actually the only time i've gone up on stage right just didn't remember my lines, the only time. i was with another actor and all of a sudden i just stopped in the middle of the speech and i thought, your adrenaline goes in such a rush, i can't tell you the name of the play or the plot or anything. but i did note the kitchen was off stage left and my character always had a drink in her hand so i thought i'll just tell him i'm going to go fresh in my drink and refill it. the stage manager is there. i will just walk then go back

out. i'm just going to get another drink and i go offstage and the stage managers playing solitaire on his laptop. he is not anywhere near the scene. [screaming] my life flashed before my eyes. >> stephen: have you ever fallen asleep on stage? >> jean: no. i know actors who have had replaying dead? >> stephen: no. it was the second act of the show. it was a second act of the show and it starts in darkness and the lights would come up very, very, very very slowly with soft music playing because it was supposed to be don. lights coming up. we are just on the play in vienna for ten days and come back to chicago and i had jet lag. in my mind was like 4:00 in the morning. the lights came upon the second act and i was sitting in the middle of the stage i'm supposed to start during this monologue. as dawn came, the lights came up

and they just went back down again. >> jean: [laughs] oh, my god. did somebody kick you? >> stephen: jean, so lovely to have you here. >> jean: thank you. pleasure. >> stephen: season three of "hacks" premieres thursday on max. it's jean smart, everybody. we'll be right back with the star of "cabaret" on broadway, gayle rankin. -remember when i said we need to screen for colon cancer? -was that after i texted the age to screen was now 45? [both] because i said cologuard®! -hey there! -where did he come from? -yup, with me you can screen at home. just talk to your provider. [both] we'll screen with cologuard and do it my way. cologuard is a one-of-a-kind way to screen for colon cancer that's effective and non-invasive. it's for people 45+ at average risk, not high risk. false positive and negative results may occur. ask your provider for me, cologuard. ♪ upbeat music ♪♪

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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey, welcome back, everybody. ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an actor you know from "the greatest showman," "glow," and "perry mason." she now stars as sally bowles in "cabaret at the kit kat club" on broadway. please welcome to "the late show," gayle rankin. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ i love it. may i? the red leather, very nice. >> gayle: you know, it's freezing out. it's 83 degrees. >> stephen: it's always freezing in here. comedy weather. so nice to have you on the show. congratulations on your reception as sally bowles in

"cabaret." nominated for five awards, incluing you for outstanding lead performance in a musical. how are you feeling? >> gayle: thank you so much. [chees and applause] i mean, it's a surreal, surreal moment. i never thought this was going to happen. i'm very alive, very, very alive. >> stephen: that's good. >> gayle: rather than -- >> stephen: it's much better than the opposite. no one wants to go to the gravel pit. that's one of the rules of show business. stay away from the gravel pit. you had some incredible guests come see you. next to eddie redmayne, jewel gray. john kander next to you who wrote the music for "cabaret." isn't intimidating to sing to john kander? >> gayle: yes. i was not informed he was in the audience. >> stephen: you walked on

stage and john kander is right there? that's not fair. >> gayle: i have a line in the show, you you can tell my uncle here and now because he's my agent. there is john kander! for the rest of the show, i was like, all i could do was sing to john. to be able to sing "cabaret" to john kander. and to say it to the man who is the old chum of the old chums. we had met ten years ago when i did the first production. >> stephen: here you are. 2014. it's very different. >> gayle: some armpit hair. >> stephen: good for you. >> gayle: was at? >> stephen: during berlin. 1930s. you already know, the music is already in your bones. how was the shift to sally? did you always want to play

sally? >> gayle: deep down inside of me, like a private dream that i didn't want to play sally. >> stephen: like a wish he can't say out loud. otherwise it won't happen. >> gayle: yeah, it was quite secret. i didn't believe it was going to happen. even after my audition i had a call back and i was flying to berlin with a friend just on a track. >> stephen: for this production, call back. cgs, to play sally. i was going to berlin. on a friend's trip. we ended up in a bar with a composer friend. he was like all right, here we go. we're going to play some of the songs in your biasing them. if you don't get this part of lease you will have gone to play sally bowles in berlin. i think it's very good, it's a good trade-off. it was one of the more special moments in my life. >> stephen: went to find out you got it? >> gayle: a few weeks later.

i got a team phone call. i was not wearing pants. i was like, stay up here, team. >> stephen: would sally have state appear? did you call your composer friend and say guess what? >> gayle: there were so many people who were just so beautifully support of journey. i have never cried so much of my life. i am crying on stage as well. i'm dehydrated. >> stephen: you have something to keep your energy up on stage. i have something back here i want you to explain to me. your character. i did notice this, i have seen "cabaret" multiple times. you have a prairie oyster it's called. >> gayle: not a rocky mountain oyster. >> stephen: that's right. what's prairie oyster? >> gayle: a prairie oyster a raw egg with worcestershire sauce and it is supposed to be heaven for a hangover. have you ever had one? stu and i have the ingredients.

>> gayle: we should do it. i am going to take off the hermes because we have to get comfortable. [cheers and applause] here we go. >> stephen: i don't know why i'm doing it too. it's just polite to a guest. just plain old raw egg. i will give you your water back later. >> gayle: blow on it for comedy. beautiful. i don't dare to do that. >> stephen: egg yolk or the whole egg? >> gayle: the whole egg. you're ready. go for a period >> stephen: how much worse to share? >> gayle: however much you want. i like to make it pretty dark. and go like this. i usually use my finger. [laughter]

cheers. good, no? do you like it? >> stephen: i'm alive! >> gayle: you are alive! >> stephen: i've never done that with a guest. >> gayle: with other people, not a guest. >> stephen: i hear the scottish accent but you went to julliard. how did you get from scotland to julliard? how did you even know about it? >> gayle: i didn't. >> stephen: they hijacked you and made you go there? >> gayle: kidnapped me. no, i come here on holiday with my parents and taken the uptown bus tour, which is lincoln center. there's an amazing -- >> stephen: like a double-decker bus tour? on your left, this is times square praise be to this person when here. this turner person went there. i should go there. >> stephen: for those of us who didn't go there, i'm not

angry at all. then it just happened. >> gayle: i auditioned. i did a call back. my dad came st. patric's day weekend. it snowed. it just happened. they have an international quota to fill. [laughter] >> stephen: your young kid living in new york. did you like it? did it overwhelm you? >> gayle: i loved it. i was so young. it kind of reminds me of glasgow, from here the architecture is similar. sometimes they shoot new york in lascaux. they shot some of batman. >> stephen: in glasgow? i do not know we had glaswegian architecture here. >> gayle: and we are on grid system too pray kind of feels like home. >> stephen: welcome home. thank you so much for being here. lovely to meet you. you can see "cabaret at the kit kat club" at the august wilson theater. it's gayle rankin, everybody. we'll be right back.

>> stephen: that's it for "the late show," everybody! tune in tomorrow when my guests will be jeff daniels and the star of "hacks," hannah einbinder. now stick around for "after midnight" with our dear friend taylor tomlinson. good night!