[ cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ] "jimmy fallon" happening right [ cheers and applause ]

>> from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. welcome. what a great crowd. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. let's get right to the news here. last night was the big results show on "dancing with the stars." that's right, and david hasselhoff was the first contestant voted off. [ cheers and applause ] that probably wasn't the reaction he wanted. [ laughter ] actually, hasselhoff said it wasn't so bad. after all, he's used to people telling him to get off the floor. it's like, "come on, buddy. you need help there? i'll let you finish your burger. i'll let you finish your burger, and we'll come back." everybody is talking about bob woodward's new book, "obama's wars." in the book, he says joe biden called middle east advisor richard holbrooke "the most egotistical bastard i've ever met." then rahm emanuel's like, "what am i, invisible? what, i mean --

what do i gotta do to get recognized?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] forget it. and listen to this. woodward's book also reveals that afghan president hamid karzai has severe mood swings. but karzai was like, "that is not true. i'm really offended that you would say something. and it's funny. it's funny, you know, it's hilarious how much i love you." [ laughter ] check this out. the airline industry expects to make $6 million more in profits this year than originally expected. yeah, mostly because eight more people plan to check their bags this year. that's what they say, "it's all" -- [ applause ] "it's all about checking -- how much is that? $10,000." i love how they charge you for it and then they make you lift it and put it on the thing. like, "that will be $150. do you mind lifting that and putting it on the conveyer belt? i just want to sit here and point at stuff."

speaking of air travel, i just read that the average price for a roundtrip ticket on thanksgiving is 10% higher this year than it was in 2009. however, lying to your relatives and saying you're too sick to make it -- still free. [ laughter ] so just think about that when you're making plans this thanksgiving. it will save you money. here's some tech news. google released a new online tool to track countries with severe online censorship. and you're not going to believe what i found out. it said the worst offender -- >> hello, the people's republic of china is so wonderful place to live. we hope that you have smiley day. >> jimmy: can you believe that? isn't that crazy? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] censorship. censorship, not cool, man. i don't know what to make of this. spencer pratt posted a video online yesterday -- spencer pratt -- of him shaving off his beard. and if you watched it, i'd just like to remind you that you can never get that time back. [ laughter ]

and finally, on november 9th, susan boyle is going to release her new album, "the gift." although you may know it by its more common title, "the regift." [ laughter ] i'm just kidding. but the first track is called "keep the receipt." it should be a good record. ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got a big, big show tonight, everybody. he's got two movies, not one, two movies coming out this the week. a great actor and a great guy, josh brolin is here. [ cheers and applause ] star of the new nbc show "outsourced," ben rappaport is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] and we've got my buddy, rock 'n' roll chef kerry simon stopping by to show us some of those high end munchies. we'll be cooking and doing

stuff. we also have animal expert and insane asylum member -- jeff musial is back with a whole bunch of cute little animals. got some nice little animals he's going to be bringing by. i love that dude. he's going to be out here soon. if you guys watch our show, you know that i use twitter a lot. and a lot of times on twitter, these weird lists get started. it's like a topic with a pound sign in front of it. on twitter, they call it a hashtag. now, on last night's show, i went on twitter and i started a hashtag called "if i had one wish," and i asked you guys at home to tweet out something weird that you would ask for if you had one wish. thousands of tweets came in. i was looking at them all night. it was great. but tonight, i thought i'd share some of my favorite "if i had one wish" tweets from you guys. it's time for "late night hashtags." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hashtag, hashtag hashtag, hashtag ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. this first one is from @danvan3. i guess there was two other danvans. [ light laughter ] he really wanted that name.

okay, @danvan3, he says, "i'd wish for one hand to be smaller so i could eat pringles without any problems." [ laughter ] "this is ridiculous, man!" what don't you just ask for pringles to make bigger containers, or put it a bowl or something? i don't know. that's probably easier. but -- i wouldn't wish for one hand to be smaller. this next one is from @ghummel. he says, "i wish pat sajak would berate contestants on 'wheel of fortune.' for example, yelling, 'lose a turn, biotch,' when they land on it." [ laughter ] [ applause ] i think he does do that now. i got to watch the show more. @rubenbowling, he says he'd wish, "that all the children of the world would gather together, hold hands and sing as one voice 'by mennen.'" that's the secret to world peace

right there. that's it. @pacmancerealrocks. she says, "i wish my dog would quit hating because i buy cheap dog food. if i got to eat from the dollar menu, that hooker ain't getting no iams." [ laughter and applause ] "if i got to eat from the dollar menu, that hooker ain't getting no iams." eukanuba. @jandytimsemlake. she says, "if i had one wish, i could eat anything i wanted and choose whose ass it went to." bang! >> this pizza's delicious. bang! >> jimmy: @johnwilcox. he says, "i would like to see waldo and carmen sandiego hook

up. it seems like they got a lot in common." [ laughter ] how would they find each other? [ laughter ] @thrillhouse1982, he says "i'd wish that, for the last episode of 'larry king live,' he would take off his suspenders and start stripping." be careful what you wish for. "all right, here we go." ♪ [ cheers ] the last one here, this is from @nebosid. he says, "if i had one wish, girls would like my man boobs as much as i like their lady boobs." there you go. those are tonight's "late night hashtag." to check out all of these and more, go to www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com . we'll be right back with animal expert jeff musial, everybody. come on back! ♪ ♪ i want a girl with the right allocations ♪

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buy a samsung fascinate and any other phone is free. only at verizon. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our first guest is an animal expert and psychopath who has been kind enough to stop by with some of his friends. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my friend jeff musial, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, wow. >> how are you, jimmy? how are you? >> jimmy: i'm good. she's screaming. this thing's screaming at me. >> no, she's awesome. this is nala. look at her diamond necklace. [ audience aws ]

it's beautiful. >> jimmy: what is she? >> she's a cougar, mountain lion, catamount, screamer. they got a lot of different names. it's all the same animal. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> 12 weeks old. and she's beautiful. do you see her diamond necklace? look at that. diamond collar. [ light laughter ] look at that. >> jimmy: a little bling there, yeah. >> yeah, bling for my ladies. happy wife, happy life, you know that, jimmy? boo-yah. [ laughter ] now, they -- yeah, she's cool. give her her frog. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> right here, stuffed frog. i got it. this right here. [ laughter ] she needed a stuffed animal on the way down. i won this at the crane machine at the stop and go. >> jimmy: you're a talented guy. >> yeah, i did. it only cost me $1. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: is that is? >> yeah, you ever play those? >> jimmy: no. >> you'd probably be horrible at it. [ laughter ] now -- >> jimmy: i was gonna say, why would i be horrible? now, can i pet it? >> yeah, you can feel if you want. just feel her back. but i wouldn't go, like, too close near her head because her teeth are huge. [ laughter ] and if she doesn't get you with her teeth, check this out. retractable claws. like, i don't know if she'll let me show you. look at -- see those claws?

>> jimmy: oh, man. >> yeah, look it. you can see them on the back. they're unbelievable. but her name is nala. >> jimmy: nala. now, why nala? >> like, after "the lion king." yeah, looks like a -- >> jimmy: is that the name the lion king? >> well, that's lion king's wife, i believe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so then, i would say it's probably named after the lion king's wife. am i wrong? >> ooh, touche. ooh! [ laughter ] now -- >> jimmy: she doesn't seem interested in froggie anymore. >> no. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: bored. >> so beautiful. look at her, though. she's just gorgeous to look at. >> jimmy: that is beautiful, buddy. >> she's got spots. she'll get rid of the spots as she grows. she'll get about 65 to 70 pounds. >> jimmy: yeah. >> high-percentage florida panther. you know, there's only 50 florida panthers left in the wild today? >> jimmy: no. great. >> now -- >> jimmy: i didn't know that. [ laughter ] >> you weren't -- it wasn't even like a, "whoa, wow!" you were just like, "no. who really cares?" >> jimmy: no, no, i do care. that's why i have you on. what else did you bring? you brought -- >> i know. i'm going to bring on the next animal. i'll bring this one -- [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: man. man, i got so scared. i saw those retractable claws coming out, i go -- there you go. >> it happens. there, you're good. you're good. now, next animal. this one's going to be incredible. they -- here he goes. takes a little bit of -- here we go.

>> jimmy: right, no problem. what do we got coming out? >> this one -- [ audience groans ] thank you, steve-o. look at that this guy. now, that's impressive. [ light laughter ] this is called a rhinoceros iguana, from haiti. you can find them in cuba, dominican republic. they're an endangered species. go ahead, like, feel those bumps on his head. feel that. >> jimmy: are you sure? >> feel the skin. yeah, go ahead. feel him. [ light laughter ] now, do this. like, bob your head like this -- go like this -- do it. [ laughter ] that's a threat behavior. that's territorial display. and what they do is -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why would you make me threaten him? >> no, it's cool because then he'll blow out his dewlap. and you gotta watch out, because you know who had these as pets? slash, from guns n' roses, like -- ♪ sweet child o mine you know what i mean? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kind of. >> that guy, yeah. >> jimmy: kind of, yeah. >> well, they -- he had one as a pets. but he had someone else take care of them because their bite can actually take a finger off. how do you play a guitar with missing fingers, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: well, jerry garcia did it. >> yeah, true. [ laughter ] now, they -- yeah, it's unbelievable, but these guys are one of my favorites. >> jimmy: why do you call them "rhino iguanas?"

>> because of the horns on his nose, like a rhino horn. >> jimmy: oh, duh. >> see -- no, i wouldn't say that to you guys. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry, buddy. >> but he's very cool. he'll live to be 75 to 80 years old. >> jimmy: and how old is this guy? >> about 8 years old. >> jimmy: oh, wow! >> yeah, his name is roger. >> jimmy: he's just fantastic. >> sweet. [ light laughter ] chicks love him. >> jimmy: prehistoric. it just looks like a dinosaur. >> super-neat. you want to see the next animal? >> jimmy: sure. >> all right, steve-o. >> jimmy: thank you, buddy. >> this is my boy, steve-o. >> jimmy: there's steve-o in the house. bye, buddy. >> steve-o, in the house. there we go. now, check these guys out. >> jimmy: i thought steve-o was the next animal. [ laughter ] >> no. well, he kind of is. look at these. >> jimmy: what? >> now, hold it. don't let it go, but hold it, like, on the side. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: wait. ahh! >> they're three-banded. hold them like this. look, they fold up into a ball. look at that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is this thing? >> this is called a three-banded armadillo. look at their feet. they look like the shoes lady gaga wore at the vmas, see? look it. see, look at the way she walks. now, these are one of the only animals in the world that carry leprosy. [ laughter ] i'm not kidding, really. someone died in -- well, got leprosy in mexico. yeah, they can carry them.

and cockroaches can carry them, too. but these are, like, notorious for doing it. >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming on. it's so great. >> aren't they neat? they feel so cool, don't they? look at that. they've got, like, the spock ears. they can tuck their face in. they'll kind of walk on the ground. [ audience aws ] yeah. >> jimmy: now, what do i do? now, can he just come out now? >> yeah, you can pit him down like this -- with his feet like that. and he'll probably start to walk. yeah, it's like a transformer. [ laughter ] isn't that so cool? look at him. now, don't let them get close to each other because they're two boys, and they'll fight. and don't let them go off the edge of the table. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i think you could take him. >> they eat bugs in the wild. and they're found in paraguay, south america. people there -- >> jimmy: what is he doing? [ laughter ] >> people there -- >> jimmy: get him and hold him. >> no, look it -- >> jimmy: get him and hold him! [ laughter ] >> no, look it. it's like air hockey. isn't he cool? look it, look it, he's spinning around. >> jimmy: i could never have this as a pet. it's too high maintenance. >> don't let him go off the table! >> jimmy: he's not gonna go off the table! >> bring him this way! turn him around! >> jimmy: i'm not gonna bring him off. >> you look like you're killing him. what is going on? [ laughter ] now -- >> jimmy: he's hiding out, all right. this is too much. >> now, hold him up. hold him, and he'll go into a ball.

just pick him right up. now, you go like this. you go -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. it's like pokemon. >> yeah, isn't that cool? look at that. it's like coconuts. >> jimmy: dude, you are awesome. you are coconuts. >> i mean, these things are -- i mean, where do you find these things? >> jimmy: i don't know. this is the coolest thing ever. but you'll have more animals when we come back, right? >> i got them in chinatown, these guys. >> jimmy: you did? [ laughter ] you did not. you're such a liar. more animals with jeff when we return. jeff musial, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ spits ] ♪ [ thunder crashes ] ♪ [ male announcer ] movies just got more awesome. the new epic 4g lets you download and watch movies on the go at 4g speeds. learn more at sprint.com/epic. deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities, access www.sprintrelay.com.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. welcome back.

i'm here with jeff musial. jeff, what do you have there? what is this guy? >> it's called a gray fox. her name is meadow. she's beautiful. you could pet her, like, back here if you want to. >> jimmy: absolutely. oh, my gosh. >> isn't that so cool? >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> they are found -- yeah, you find these guys right around here. >> jimmy: really? >> in new york, yeah. one of the only canines that can climb trees. >> jimmy: is that right? >> they'll climb up a tree to get away from their biggest predators. red fox, coyotes. well, and man. man will shoot these guys, too. they got a odor. they kind of smell like -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, can you smell her? like a body odor kind of funk? >> jimmy: i thought that was you. >> no. [ laughter ] i gave her a bath, though. the only shampoo that works is garnier fructis. [ laughter ] yeah, smell her. smell. >> jimmy: what are you talking -- >> smell. like garnier fructis. >> jimmy: it really is. >> see, and that helps take care of the odor. her name's meadow. she's very cool. she's a great little thing. look at those teeth. >> jimmy: how cute, huh? that is an amazing, amazing animal. >> some people try to get them and keep them as pets. and they don't realize they don't make good pets. they stink up your house. they poop wherever they want to. they, like, do whatever they -- they don't care about anything else. it's like raising kids. [ laughter ]

it's the same thing. >> jimmy: yeah, it is. oh, my god. that is just gorgeous. >> gray fox, beautiful. i'm going to hand her off and get the next animal. you want to see the next one? >> jimmy: yeah, love to. thank you. this is amazing. >> thanks, andy. thank you, man. >> this is so cool. >> jimmy: thanks, andy. >> this is andy. he's from buffalo. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: great. >> no, the fox is from, like, new york. but that's from buffalo. look at my animal handler. you see this guy? look at this. i don't know if -- i've got to stand up to show you. look at that neck. snake neck turtle. indonesia -- ♪ [ laughter ] so cool, isn't it? >> jimmy: yeah, i guess. that's amazing. >> don't get your fingers too close. he'll take it off. [ laughter ] so in the wild, these things, in indonesia, they swim. and they're kind of, like, clumsy swimmers. and they'll suck ducks right off the top of the water. pull them right down. i was watching this late-night animal show. and this guy is like, he's like, "snake neck turtle. not only will he eat fish, he'll suck ducks off the top of the water." [ laughter ] right, this thing's like -- it's sucks the duck.

he's like, "let's see it again in slo-mo." >> jimmy: is this some home video you made? [ laughter ] >> yeah, exactly. now -- in my grandma's swimming pool. it was so cool. >> jimmy: wow, look at that neck. that is -- i've never seen anything like that. >> yeah, most turtles pull them in, right? look at this. he goes like this -- >> jimmy: wow. >> folds it in. >> jimmy: so it's like a snake-neck? >> yeah, snake-neck turtle. >> jimmy: dude, that is the coolest thing. >> so wicked, isn't it? >> jimmy: i've never seen one like that in my life. i've never seen like that. >> no, they're just so neat -- ♪ >> jimmy: i know. i gotcha, okay. what else you got? [ laughter ] >> this is so neat. you're going to love this. >> jimmy: a box. >> poof! unleash the dragons! >> jimmy: what are you doing? what is this crazy box? >> we're playing a game called "you open it, i grab him out." unless i open it, you grab him out. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't like these games at all. >> i'm just making sure they're in there. >> jimmy: yeah, so what do i do? i open it? >> just open it. pull it back. >> jimmy: okay, good. i'm just so afraid. >> no, just pull it -- from the front to the back. just like grab it -- >> jimmy: is there something gonna bite me? >> no, he won't. just pull this part. open it. >> jimmy: oh, man -- >> arragh! just kidding. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't do it anymore. no way, man. i can't do it. >> jimmy -- come back.

>> jimmy: can't do it. >> jimmy, come back. come on. no, this is so cool. just stick close. >> jimmy: oh, no. is it a spider? >> scorpions. [ audience ohs ] emperor scorpions. >> jimmy: close the box. close the box. >> no, there's no more left. >> jimmy: are you sure? >> yeah, i only brought three. so i remembered to take them -- >> jimmy: don't do this to me! >> yeah! so neat, aren't they? emperor scorpion, found in africa, biggest scorpions in the world. you want to see something wicked cool? >> jimmy: yep. >> now, watch this. [ laughter ] grab one of these, okay? i'm going to turn the lights off in this joint. are you ready for this? lights, please! turn the thing on. look at this. >> jimmy: wait, what? >> can you see him? they glow fluorescent green. look at that. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> isn't that awesome? >> jimmy: that's bizarre. why? >> they're found in africa. and the cool thing about these

guys is they glow green because the stuff that's in their bodies. so it causes them to glow that green color. look at that. so cool. see that one? it's, like, poised to strike. look at it. see it? >> jimmy: that's crazy, all right. >> you want the lights on? >> jimmy: lights on, yeah. thank you. that is so good. [ laughter ] i was joking, i was joking. that's how you react to a joke? that's how you react to a joke? >> oh, my god! i didn't know. how did you do that? when did you do that? >> jimmy: stop it. it is kind of amazing -- >> they glow a bluish green color. but they're so neat. like, if they sting you -- unless you're allergic to bees, you can't die. >> jimmy: okay. >> so what they'll do is -- like here, they can never -- >> jimmy: ahh, what's going on? >> they can never reach you're face! so you're fine. >> jimmy: all right, we got to go to commercial. we got to go to commercial. >> no, you're fine. no, look at. he's going in your armpit. >> jimmy: hey, we got to go! >> so cool. >> jimmy: great, tanks so much for coming. jeff musial and his animals. we'll be right back with josh brolin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ boss: and now i'll turn it over to the gecko.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. jeff has left the building. our next guest is an

oscar-nominated actor who starred in such hit films as "no country for old men," "american gangster" and "milk." he's got two movies coming out this week. woody allen's "you will meet a tall, dark stranger" and the big sequel, "wall street: money never sleeps." say hello to the very talented, very busy, josh brolin! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, right there! josh brolin! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, right there! josh brolin! >> i always wanted to do that. i envy you. you know, my mother was an animal activist. and she used to take animals

away who had illegally took them out of the wild. those guys are so insane. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they have malaria! you know, they're so happy about it. hold it, it's fun! it's really not. you need to leave -- >> jimmy: i was actually frightened by his -- >> he's a frightening man. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't trust him. >> he's a little too excited. i'm all out of breath now. >> jimmy: he's a frightening man, he is. he came back -- one time, he came and it was a rattlesnake or something, and he threw it at me. and it was a fake rattlesnake, but still, he should just warn me with that. >> he's the one guy who would throw the real rattlesnake, for sure. >> jimmy: yeah, he would totally -- >> my wife is going to be here in two weeks, and she loves you guys. >> jimmy: ah, she loves the roots. >> really loves you. you're the favorite. >> tariq: thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how is your wife? >> she's great. >> jimmy: i love diane. she's awesome. >> she is awesome. she is. >> jimmy: super fun, yeah. she's great. >> yeah, she is. >> jimmy: i didn't see you after "saturday night live." congratulations on hosting that. >> thanks. >> jimmy: you were a fantastic host. i thought you were such a great host. >> you know what? we talked about this earlier. [ applause ] it was the highest rated show

for 14 years, and i don't think it was me. because palin was on, wahlberg was on. alec was on. i mean, i think i did one skit and that was it. >> jimmy: no, no. >> i think so. >> jimmy: no, you had some really good bits. i remember. >> it's nerve-racking, though. it was fun. >> jimmy: it's fun, right? >> it is fun. >> jimmy: you should go back. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: would you go back? >> i think i would. i'm not sure. it's nerve-racking. >> jimmy: they all loved you there, i know that. >> oh, i loved them. i loved them. >> jimmy: and you're a busy, busy guy. do you like the live stuff? did you ever do theatre or any of that stuff? >> i do. i did a lot of theater. i did a bunch in rochester, new york. i've done some down here. >> jimmy: all right. >> one person from rochester. are you okay? were you in rehab? [ laughter ] no, rochester is good. >> jimmy: but you've got two movies coming out. >> i do. >> jimmy: this is -- you're a very talented, very busy guy. oh, my gosh. >> say the talented thing once more. >> jimmy: you're very talented. >> because you've said it three times already, and i appreciate it. >> jimmy: did i really? well, i do think you are very talented. because you do the acting and the serious stuff, but you do the comedy and the fun. >> i do it all, right? >> jimmy: is the woody allen comedy fun times? >> it is fun. you did a woody allen film, right? >> jimmy: i did one, yeah. >> did you enjoy it?

>> jimmy: oh, i had the best time. >> what's your woody allen impression? >> jimmy: i did two lines. >> i can't do woody allen, so -- >> jimmy: he came over to give me direction, and he hit his head on the lamp and then he was leaving. he said "i'm going to hit all the lamps, just for symmetry." >> that's great. >> jimmy: that was funny. he wasn't even talking to anybody, he was just being funny. >> he talks to himself a lot. >> jimmy: he does talk to himself. >> yeah, he's around 75 years old. he can get away with that. >> jimmy: he can do that! how did you hook up with woody? >> how did i hook up with a woody? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: everyone wants to know. >> everybody wants to know. >> jimmy: how do you hook up with a woody? >> i actually got him a shirt. we were in london, and i got him a shirt. i only made two of them, but it said, "i got a woody in london." that was the rap shirt. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm sure he wears that around. >> i thought it was much funnier than you guys did. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's an interesting guy, though. >> he's an interesting guy. we wrote e-mails back and forth. yeah. >> jimmy: you e-mailed woody allen? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. and everybody talks about, you know, they don't -- have no

communication with him, he doesn't really give direction. i didn't find that to be true at all. i did this part. i gained about 50 pounds for the part. i curled my hair. i wanted to -- he wouldn't let me -- but i wanted to be in a wheelchair. i wanted to do a serbian accent. so i would write him these long e-mails about it, because i was confused. i didn't know what i wanted to do. you're working for woody allen, you want to do the best job. you want to do some great transformative thing. so i would write these long three-page e-mails about, "listen, i think he should be in a wheelchair. i want to bring more vulnerability to him." and then he wrote me back, "no." [ laughter ] just one word. one word. >> jimmy: see, that guy loves to communicate. he loves it. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: he said "no." >> no, that was it. n-o, send. >> jimmy: is his e-mail name a funny name? >> i almost said it. i almost said it. i almost said it, just now! >> jimmy: imagine if you gave out woody allen's e-mail. he would never forgive you. oh, my gosh. >> i think that'd be cool. can you imagine, he gets, like, 2,000 e-mails in the next five minutes? >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, that would be hilarious. >> bring the animals out, dude.

>> jimmy: what is the movie -- what is the movie, again? >> bring the animals out. >> jimmy: no, i'm not bringing the animals out. >> you were terrified. when he opened that box, you were truly terrified. >> jimmy: i'm afraid of these things, and i don't trust this man. [ laughter ] >> no, that's good. i don't blame you. >> i'm afraid, like, honestly, i could die because of this guy. like, he puts a scorpion on my neck. why would i -- >> and then you keep bringing him back. so there's -- you have to look at your own thing. >> jimmy: you're my therapist. it's like skydiving with that guy out here. >> exactly. >> jimmy: we have to talk about "wall street," too. >> yeah, okay. >> jimmy: you have "wall street," well, not "wall street two," but -- >> well, you know what? they just wrote something, which i appreciate it. they said you are gordon gekko 2.0 in this movie, which i thought was a compliment. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> i mean, gordon gekko is this kind of iconic figure back then. and now, we'll see what happens with that. >> jimmy: you're like the head of, kind of like, a goldman sachs kind of this. >> like a goldman sachs type of thing, and he takes over, and he's an accumulator. he's a carnivore. he's -- you know, he's willing to do anything in order to get more money. he has no ceiling. it's a good character. it's a colorful character. >> jimmy: and it's and you and shia labeouf. >> labeouf. >> jimmy: yep. >> yeah. >> shia labeouf is in there. >> jimmy: nobody knows how to

pronounce it. >> jimmy: and kevin -- no. he doesn't even know how to do it. >> it doesn't matter. >> jimmy: it doesn't matter. >> he's making so much money, it doesn't matter. >> jimmy: he doesn't care. >> right, he doesn't. >> jimmy: but i heard this movie is fantastic. people are psyched about this. >> it is. we had some community -- >> jimmy: a lot of fun cameos in there, too. oliver stone? >> oliver stone, susan sarandon, frank langella. michael, who is going through his thing right now. but he's a tank. >> jimmy: michael douglas, yeah, he does -- oh, my god. >> he's great, man. the gordon gekko. and now he's back, 24 years later, so i think it's going to be a good deal. >> jimmy: you've worked with a lot of giant stars, i would say. i mean, besides you, yourself, sean penn. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you worked with -- you worked with michael douglas, as we said. >> michael douglas. >> jimmy: john malkovich. >> john -- [ imitating malkovich ] "um, yeah, josh. i like what we're doing here, josh. there seems to be more of --" he's doing operas and [ bleep ] now, right? oh, i can't say that word. he is. no, he's doing clothing lines and opera, so -- >> jimmy: john malkovich is doing a clothing line. >> so diane and i were traveling through europe, and he was like -- [ imitating malkovich ]

"you know, josh, if you're going to be in vienna, josh, it would be great if you could come by and see my o-pera." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not how you say opera. >> it is. that's the way he says o-pera. >> jimmy: i love john malkovich. >> he is. that's fantastic. i never heard a malkovich impression. but -- i'm excited to see "wall street: money never sleeps." is that right? >> that's it. >> jimmy: we have a clip of the movie right now. here's the great josh brolin. >> like your firm knows subprimes are crap. the way you keep buying insurance swaps lately, i mean, i've got to worry about my grandchildren's college education. >> you like insurance. >> what's not to like? it's easy selling crack to kids at the school playground. >> a credit default swap is a good idea. it's the execution that isn't. >> well, you know what they say. bulls make money, bears make money, and pigs, they get slaughtered. >> you know, i thought this was a charity event, gordon. why don't you go find some? >> i tell you what.

i'll make you a deal, bretton. you stop telling lies about me, i'll stop telling the truth about you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't wait for this. i can't wait for this. thank you, brother. come back whenever you want. "wall street: money never sleeps" is in theatres everywhere friday. "you will meet a tall, dark stranger" is in new york and l.a. starting today. josh brolin, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ben rappaport joins us next. there he is in the bud light lime green room. hey, buddy! ♪ [ guy #1 ] ooh! i don't know about this. bro, you can't chicken out now. yeah. can't do it. uh! it's really high. look at that boat down there. those guys have a ton of bud light. here we go! oh! whoa! check it out. sweet! oh, aluminum bottles, anyone? mmm. deviled eggs, they're a little salty. bikini! [ laughs ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got a great show coming up tomorrow. my pal and this week's host of the "saturday night live" season premiere, amy poehler is going to be here tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] from the new film "the social network," the lovely rashida jones will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] from the new film "nowhere boy," aaron johnson will be stopping by. he's playing john lennon. and we'll have music from pavement. and with the winner -- the winner of our play guitar with pavement contest will be performing with them. it's going to be a great show tomorrow night. i hope you'll come back and watch our show tomorrow night. our next guest is the star of a brand-new nbc comedy called "outsourced" that premieres tomorrow night following "the office" at 9:30 p.m. please welcome a talented young actor, ben rappaport! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy fallon.

>> jimmy: ben rappaport. >> wow. >> jimmy: thanks for coming on our show. >> i'm so happy to be here. >> jimmy: you're a good man. that's awesome. congratulations on the show. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: "outsourced." >> yes, "outsourced." >> jimmy: yeah, it's on thursday night on nbc. >> right after "the office," yeah. >> jimmy: but isn't that huge? like, did you ever think that you would be a sitcom that's on thursday night? that's the famous night. >> i know, it's the big night. you know. i'm a huge, huge fan of "the office." so, when we got that news, i was just like, "oh, this is so cool." yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so tell everyone what the show is about, "outsourced." >> well it starts off, i play a guy named todd dempsey. he works at mid-american novelties in kansas city. he comes to work one day and he finds out -- yeah! he finds out that everyone's gone, everyone's been fired. and so his boss tells him that he has a choice. he either stays on with

mid-american novelties and goes to india and runs the call center over there, or he gets fired. and todd's got student loans, so he decides to go to india. >> jimmy: so you go to india. >> and comedy ensues. >> jimmy: so everyone's indian in your office. >> yes, except for me. >> jimmy: and what's the name of the company? >> mid-american novelties. >> jimmy: now, what does that mean, novelties? >> novelties, they're like fake poop and whoopie cushions and stuff like that. >> jimmy: fake poop and whoopie cushions. so you sell that. that must go over well. so it's different gag items? it's like, joke items? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: plastic scorpions. >> yeah. >> jimmy: pretty funny gag. >> i feel your pain, man. i saw that scorpion on your shoulder. i -- we just finished shooting the halloween episode. and i had to have a tarantula right here on my shoulder. and we had this crazy australian, like, animal wrangler guy. he was like, "oh, he won't bite you. his name is alfonzo." >> jimmy: like the name is going

to calm you down. "alfonzo killed me." yeah, great. >> i'm like, "is he venomous?" he goes, "yeah, but i'll stop him before he gets to your neck." >> jimmy: you put a lot of your trust into these crazy animal people. >> i know, exactly, exactly. so, at one point, it started crawling all the way down my chest. so i had the guy, who was like this, like, "oh, god, it's going to get, you know, to the family jewels." but luckily, you know, it did not do it. >> jimmy: your story -- i like your story. about a year ago probably? >> yeah, a year ago. >> jimmy: a year ago from right now, what were you doing? >> i was doing several odd jobs. and one of them, my agent and my manager don't even know this. this is secret. i worked for the theatre refreshment company here in new york, and i was selling overpriced bottles of water and candy, walking up and down the aisles like this. and people get pretty angry with the price of water. >> jimmy: yeah, how much were you charging for water? >> $4. >> jimmy: $4 for water.

>> $4 dollars. >> jimmy: to thirsty people. >> yeah. one guy, i'll never forget this. i was working at "billy elliot." and this one guy -- yeah. >> jimmy: that person's from rochester. and also from kansas city as well, yeah. >> nice, nice. no, this one guy. this british guy. he's like, "how much is it for the water?" and i was like, "it's $4." he says "$4?!" and he walks away. then he comes back and throws the $4 in my face and goes, "you buy yourself a new face with that $4." [ laughter ] like the weirdest -- >> jimmy: that's a weird british comeback somewhere. like, "buy yourself a new face!" what does that mean? >> yeah, "and get a kneecap while you're at it." >> jimmy: what's he talking about? what's that -- buy yourself a new face? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: like you're going to hurt me with four crumpled up dollars? >> i know, right? >> jimmy: "ooh, that really hurt my face." >> yeah, right, right. >> jimmy: you should have threw water in his face and said, "get a new -- a new" -- >> accent. >> jimmy: "accent -- buddy." yeah. i didn't have a good comeback for that.

your parents are all psyched that you got this gig? >> yeah, they were really excited. they actually came and visited me on set a couple weeks. and, uh, it's really funny. both of my parents had never been on a set before. so, my dad is all really excited about craft service. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> free food. so, you know, bagels and kit-kat bars and like, soda. there's even stuff he doesn't like there, but he spent more time at craft services than he spent in video villages watching the monitor. >> jimmy: he's just looking at all the things. >> he's just magnetized. it's like, "you know, ben is going to be doing a scene now." he's like, "yeah, i'll be there in a second." >> jimmy: "that's free, and that's free. i'll take some of this. i'll freeze this." >> yeah, right. and then my mom, you know, she was -- she's really funny. she's sitting by the monitor right next to the director. and, you know, i mess up a line or something. i have to go back. "all right, let me go back, let me do that again." and i do it a couple more times. "ah, let me go back."

the director told me afterwards. she was like, "oh, no." every time i messed up. she was like, "oh, no. oh, no. don't get fired." >> jimmy: "don't get fired," to the director. >> she thinks i'm going to -- yeah. like, she thinks -- the director's like "oh, chet gaspin." >> jimmy: fire this man! >> fire this man! >> jimmy: that's what moms do, though. that's so cool your mom and dad are proud of you. >> exactly, yeah. >> jimmy: that's awesome that they got to see you do what you do. congratulations. welcome to the nbc family, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations. "outsourced" premieres tomorrow night. thursday at 9:00 p.m. right here on nbc. ben rappaport, everybody! stick around. up next, we're cooking with kerry simon! munchies! come on back! ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a celebrated chef with a ton of restaurants in las vegas and l.a. this summer, he brought his talents to the east coast with the opening of the simon prime in atlantic city. please welcome my friend kerry simon, everybody, right here. [ cheers and applause ] kerry, good to see you, buddy. nice to see you, pal. >> great to be here. >> jimmy: you brought a little beer for me. >> a little guinness for you to start it off. >> jimmy: cheers, that's

awesome. thank you for doing that. [ cheers and applause ] that's delicious. you really are the rock 'n' roll chef. now, i should say, i've been to your restaurant out in l.a. a bunch of times. >> yep. >> jimmy: your desserts are insane. can we just look -- >> junk food platter. >> jimmy: junk food platter. look at this thing. [ audience ohs ] >> this is based on everything that you eat when you -- >> jimmy: this is for one person, yeah. >> yeah, this is for one person. he's actually eaten the whole thing. >> jimmy: the stoners at home are going "oh, my gosh. how do i get to this restaurant? can i eat my television?" >> yeah, all my restaurants. we serve it everywhere. >> jimmy: what do you have in there? >> we've got rice krispie treats, snowballs. these are all my versions of it, by the way. hostess cupcakes, brownies, chocolate chip cookies, caramel corn. >> jimmy: instead of rice krispies, is that froot loop treat? >> yeah. it's a froot loop treat, yeah. >> jimmy: that's so cool. >> i do them with everything. >> jimmy: i love that you do that. >> it's just -- and you can make them at home. >> jimmy: and you're in atlantic city now? >> i'm in atlantic city. i'm in two restaurants in l.a. simon l.a., l.a. market, simon at palms place, and then kgb, a hamburger place. and soon simon punta cana hard rock.

>> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, i saw that -- kgb -- that burger place, you guys have burgers and vodka. >> kerry's gourmet burger. >> jimmy: yeah. burgers and vodka. >> you need vodka. >> jimmy: that's fantastic, okay, yeah. i mixed up the two, but i know you'll make it work. now, what do we got here? we've got some cotton candy? >> we're going to do a cotton candy lesson, here, i figured. >> jimmy: now, what is cotton candy stuff? it's just -- >> sugar. >> jimmy: i know that. but do you pour -- >> well, it's already in there. and you're going to -- i'm going to show you what to do. >> jimmy: what is it, though? what's in there? >> it's -- you pour sugar in the center. >> jimmy: just sugar? >> yeah, and you let it warm up. and be careful, you don't want to touch the center. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> there's these two felt pieces, so we go around it. >> jimmy: in case i want to show you and -- what i just ate. >> i'm gonna show you -- >> jimmy: i guess it's more dangerous than the animal dude. all right. all right. what do i do here? >> it warms up quickly. you're starting up already. >> jimmy: oh, here we go. >> here, i'll show you the first -- actually, yours is going pretty big. >> jimmy: yeah.

this is psyched, all right? this is awesome. >> all right. and if you're just trying to catch it -- yeah. >> jimmy: do you have cotton candy on all your menus? >> yeah. i mean, why not? >> jimmy: that's so fun. i mean, i think i would do that if i was a chef. >> i saw it somewhere. >> jimmy: this is so good. so just whip it around. and we'll fix it. >> and then put it in here. and we'll see who -- oh, mine is really going. >> jimmy: there we go. all right. oh, yeah, yours is getting -- yours is overheating. i'm doing pretty good at this. i should have been a carnie. [ laughter ] this is a pretty good time. >> so you just keep going around. try and do it nice like that. you want it to be -- i can see you're really focusing. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can we put it in -- hey, thanks, buddy. hey, you guys got to check out this blueberry. it's fantastic. i don't know what character that guy was, but he's pretty rad. roots, you got to try some of this. hey, kerry, should we should give some -- we should give some to the audience, right? >> yeah, totally. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we hto