>> dr. phil: we'll be back. >> announcer: tomorrow on "dr. phil" -- it's avery's first birthday. >> dr. phil: repeat after me. you can't change what you don't acknowledge. >> announcer: which grandparent -- >> dr. phil: this is good for you. >> robin: have some ice cream. >> announcer: -- is the better babysitter? plus, she's lost over 100 pounds. >> dr. phil: think she looks good? >> announcer: but haven't received enough compliments from her husband. >> dr. phil: do not pause when i ask you this stuff. i am lobbing you softballs, buddy. >> announcer: then on monday, mothers-in-law and sons-in-law face off. >> dr. phil: you believe he's physically abusive. >> absolutely not. >> announcer: the arguments get so intense -- >> dr. phil: i'm not interested in any more bickering. >> announcer: you won't believe what happens next. >> dr. phil: i'm sending you guys backstage. somebody's lying and i want somebody to come back here and

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>> dr. phil: connie says that she has seen your daughter playing with her dolls in a sexually provocative way. putting them into sexual positions as they would be if they were having intercourse or having oral sex. >> okay. >> dr. phil: and that she has seen her touching herself in a sexual way. and you have reported this --

>> yes. >> dr. phil: -- to the authorities. >> to the social services caseworker who said she wasn't listening and the guardian ad litem. >> dr. phil: i'm not saying it's true or not true. did you know about that? >> no, i did not. >> she's a liar. >> dr. phil: they have not told you about this? >> about a freaking kid playing with a barbie sexually? no, i haven't been told about that. >> dr. phil: the reason i'm asking about it, jennifer -- forget about them. i'm trying to help you here. >> all right. >> dr. phil: because i will tell you from a professional standpoint, if that report is true and accurate, then that would be a warning sign -- >> to have something -- >> dr. phil: -- that perhaps something inappropriate had happened with your daughter. does it mean that it has, because there have been a lot of influences on television and other kids and all sorts of things, but as a professional, that would be --

that would hit the radar for me. >> correct. >> dr. phil: and i would want to make sure that someone was not being inappropriate with my daughter. >> right. >> dr. phil: i would make sure somebody wasn't touching her inappropriately, that she wasn't being exposed to something inappropriate. that would be of concern to me. is it of concern to you? >> if that did happen, yes. >> dr. phil: the play acting -- >> right. >> dr. phil: -- which is something children will make up. they've seen that somewhere. >> right. >> dr. phil: in this day and time, there's a lot of places they could see that, television, cable, kids with television and cable. i mean, they can influence each other. it's not prima facie, but if i were a parent, i'd want to know the source of the content in my daughter's mind and you want to check that out, right? >> right. >> dr. phil: due to the confidentiality, the department of social services told me they could not comment on this story, but as a mother, this is something you should be attentive to.

this should be on your radar. i would recommend that you have her evaluated by a professional to determine whether or not something inappropriate has taken place. >> okay. >> dr. phil: now, there is a child here that is currently living with you that's 11 years old. it's not often that an 11-year-old asks specifically to talk to me. but this child does want to talk to me, and i assume it's okay with everybody here for me to sit down and talk to this minor child. we're going to hear what he has to say about this whole thing when we come back. >> i love my mom, but she can't take care of herself. her apartment complex is filled with a whole bunch of bad things. someone dying. it's scary. i told her to move a bunch of times.

then she starts crying and tells me she's not going to move. she can't take care of any of the kids. i think dr. phil can help a lot of people. i think he's really smart. my mom needs help. i think he could help her. let's design a vacation on a bumake it work.edia. see what anandra did? booking her flight and hotel at the same time is a serious money-saving maneuver. book it! major wow factor! where you book matters. expedia. finally, there's a choice for my patients with an irregular heartbeat called atrial fibrillation, or afib, that's not caused by a heart valve problem. today we have pradaxa to reduce the risk of a stroke caused by a clot.

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>> dr. phil: if you would like to purchase a tape or transcript of your favorite "dr. phil show," please log on to drphil.com or call 866-4-dr-phil. that's 866-437-7445. >> i probably see my oldest son once a month. his brother doesn't know who he is. i'll just get him back the end of the year. my mom was supposed to sign him back over to me. and she never did that. >> he was going to live with me during the week and her on the weekends for a better school. >> i don't have the money for a lawyer to get him back. >> dr. phil: how are you doing? >> good. >> dr. phil: good to meet you. >> good to meet you, too. >> dr. phil: how are you? >> good. >> dr. phil: yeah? >> yeah. >> dr. phil: i understood you wanted to talk to me. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: and i've been out having adult conversations with

your grandmother that's, i guess, kind of mom to you. >> yeah. call her mom. >> dr. phil: and mark and your mother, jennifer. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: and we're talking about adult things that i hate for you to be involved in in any way. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: but you're a pretty mature young man. i wanted to give you a chance to tell me whatever you wanted to say or ask any questions you wanted to ask. >> yes, sir. >> dr. phil: so shoot. what did you want to say? >> i was wanting to say like my mom, she's doing real bad, with like -- because she can't really take care of herself and, like, the people around her can't help her because they're kind of like her and mom has kids and lots are going bad. >> dr. phil: are you around over there very much? >> no, not really, because i get afraid when i'm over there. like, i'm afraid of the people i'm around, because they just look like really scary people, like big. >> dr. phil: yeah.

so it's a -- it's a rough place to be? >> yeah. >> dr. phil: uh-huh. what do you call connie? do you call her grandmother, mother, what do you call her? >> i call her mom. >> dr. phil: you call her mom? >> uh-huh. >> dr. phil: you know she's your grandmother, but you call her mom. >> yeah. she used to not let me do that when i was, like, a little kid because she didn't want me to hurt my mom's feelings. she allows me to call her mom now. >> dr. phil: you kind of have two moms. you think of it that way? >> yes. >> dr. phil: when you and connie are together, do y'all talk about your mom very much? >> we don't usually want to talk about it, because she knows i don't like hearing about what she's done bad, because i just don't like hearing about it, because i want her to get the most help she can have so she can change her life around. >> dr. phil: do you miss her? >> yeah, i miss -- i miss her

because, like, i -- like when i was a little kid, she used to come around a whole bunch, but she don't do that now. >> dr. phil: well, you say that your mother's not able to take care of herself very well. how do you know that? >> it's like i've seen the way she's lived and her rooms aren't that really neat and she don't have any food in her house and she don't have pretty much anything. >> dr. phil: do you worry about your little sister and little brother? >> yeah, because they have -- they have some -- they get problems like with their hygiene and school, because like jocelyn misses school like every week. >> dr. phil: what do you want to see happen with your mother? >> i want to see, like, my mom get help if she wants it. i want her to change her life around because she's getting to the age where she needs to have her life change. >> dr. phil: i want for you to know that your mother loves you

very much. >> yeah, i know that. >> dr. phil: i mean, i really believe she loves you very, very much. i think she loves your brother and your sister very much as well. and sometimes life can get really confusing and can get really hard to choose the right things, to wake up every day and do the things that you need to do. but your mother's here because she wants to get some help with all of that. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: you know, she really does. she wants to be, you know, healthy and happy, and she wants you to be very much healthy and happy as well. so i want you to know that. and secondly, i want you to know that i'm going to do everything i can to get them the kind of help they need. we're going to try to fix this so everybody's healthy and safe and happy. and we're working on that. and what you need to do is be a kid. >> yes. >> dr. phil: and let us take

care of the adult stuff. you shouldn't be worrying about this. and just know that help has arrived here. we're going to really work on this and see if we can get everybody headed in the right direction, okay? i've heard your concerns. i get what you're saying. and i'm going to use that information to really help your mom. so you've been a big help to me in helping her. so feel good about that. but now let me take it from here. all right? >> yes, sir. >> dr. phil: all right. it's good to talk to you, buddy. >> you, too. >> dr. phil: you take care. ♪

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>> dr. phil: well, we are getting ready for our 10th season. can you believe it? [applause] and we have some amazing shows that we're working on. we would love to have you join us in the studio audience. >> robin: if you are going to be in the los angeles area and you would like free tickets, go to drphil.com and click on be in the audience. >> dr. phil: or call 323-461-phil. >> announcer: you are watching daytime's number one talk show. >> dr. phil: i'm back with mark and connie and connie's daughter, jennifer. i've just been back talking with your son. very impressive young man. you know, kids are really resilient. but the fact is they shouldn't have to be. he shouldn't have to be that resilient. it should be clear to you he loves you very much. >> uh-huh. >> dr. phil: he loves you and he misses you.

and he loves his little brother and sister. and he's worried about them. and i think that's a terrible burden for an 11-year-old, don't you? what do you think about all of this? >> i don't know. i don't -- i don't want to... >> dr. phil: you're in over your head here. you know that, right? i look at your apartment and the way that you're living, that's terrible for you and it's terrible for the children.

i look at the fact that you've relapsed and started doing drugs again. ecstasy now. you know, you know, you know the drill. you know you're at risk. you've got a daughter that's having some terrible experiences here. she should not be experiencing these things. she's getting infections. she's getting lice. she's getting -- you know, do these things happen with children? of course they do. but there seems to be a concentration here. we need to help her. we need to help you help them. i don't want you to lose those children. i want you to flourish with those children. and you can't take care of them if you don't take care of yourself. and i get that you don't have good feelings towards her right now.

and i don't know where the truth lies. i think you have some good points. you may be sensitized to the point that maybe you overreact. i don't know. but based on what i'm seeing, i see very real reasons for your concerns. we've got to get this turned around. and we're building a house on sand if you're doing drugs. you know, i don't know -- there's -- as long as we've got that in the mix, that's got to stop. there's nothing else to talk about. i don't know if you feel like you need to be back in rehab, if you feel like you -- what do you think? talk to me here. >> i think that -- i don't think i need to go back to rehab. no, i think i need to make my na meetings again. >> dr. phil: your entire situation has to change. your living arrangement has to change.

you've got to -- you've got to raise the bar. you've got to hold yourself to a higher standard here. that place you're living, i don't know about the place itself, but the manner in which it's being managed, i've been so poor i couldn't pay attention, but i was always clean. >> right. >> dr. phil: you're not even clean. >> right. >> dr. phil: your place -- you've got to change this. you need some help with this, and you need some accountability not with her. she is not your accountability source here. there's too much baggage between the two of you. and i'm willing to help you and work with this. but you have to understand that my number one priority is the safety and well-being of your children. you're a close second. >> right. >> dr. phil: but they're number one. kids don't have a voice. i'm their voice right now. and i'm saying it for them.

you need to clean your act up here. it isn't about her. you can like her or don't like her. i don't care. right now that's not even on my radar. my radar is getting you cleaned up, getting that place cleaned up, getting those cleaned up and having some accountability. >> right. >> dr. phil: and i will bring you some resources that will help you with this. >> okay. >> dr. phil: that will help you inside your home, that will help you with those children, that will help you in every way that you could need help. and i'm going to ask you to give those people permission to give me progress reports. >> okay. >> dr. phil: because i want to know what's going on. when i get a resource and make an appointment for you, you need to show up. >> right. >> dr. phil: you need to show up. and you need to really work hard at taking care of yourself. you deserve a better life as well. and we'll see how this goes over the next 30 days or so and see where we are. fair enough? >> fair enough. >> dr. phil: fair enough? >> fair enough. >> dr. phil: we'll be right

back. [ orange ] i'm not going over there. look at me: one. we're a salty sweet snack. two. salty sweet snacks get eaten. and three. i'd prefer her versus "hungry eyes" over here.

♪ i've got hungry eyes

>> dr. phil: you can always stop by drphil.com 24 hours a day, seven days a week. there you'll discover more about today's show and learn life strategies. well, i want to thank connie, mark and jennifer for being here. connie, i'm glad you wrote this letter. and even though you have some issues with her, i hope you're glad she wrote the letter. and i hope we're going to have a

follow-up on you soon that makes everybody, especially your children, very happy. so we're going to keep working on this. fair enough? >> fair enough. >> dr. phil: are you glad you came? >> yeah. >> dr. phil: all right. if you want to send me your comments, you can e-mail me at drphil.com or you can visit my blog which is turningpoint@blog.drphil.com or you can send me a tweet via twitter. thanks for being here. so long. [applause]

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