>> jay: oh! nice job. >> thank you. oh, so good -- just so happy. thank you. >> jay: i want to thank my guests -- robin wright, josh gad and, of course bonnie raitt. tomorrow night, chelsea handler. but jimmy fallon is happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: oh, that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome. that's a great new york city crowd right there. thank you for coming out tonight. [ cheers and applause ] here's what people are talking about, everyone. "sports illustrated" swimsuit model kate upton just announced that she recently became single. [ scattered cheers ] so to all those guys out there who have been waiting for a chance with kate upton, you still don't have a chance with kate upton. [ light laughter ] some more entertainment news. in his new memoir, 80-year-old music mogul, clive davis reveals that he's bisexual. [ light cheers ] or as he put it, "hey, sometimes you gotta listen to both sides of the record, you know?" [ laughter ] yeah. 80-year-old clive davis revealed that he is bisexual. which is smart because if you're still trying to have sex when you're 80, you should really take whatever you can get. i mean, really. [ laughter ] i understand.

go for it. [ applause ] check this out. in a new interview, bill gates said that he is not satisfied with the level of innovation at microsoft. he would've said more, but he had to hang up the phone so his assistant could use the internet. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ imitates dial up sounds ] >> steve: you've got mail. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this is interesting. today north korea announced that its tourism has steadily increased over the last ten years. [ light laughter ] you can tell they are trying to boost tourism with their new slogan, "north korea, you'll never want to leave because we won't let you." [ laughter ] i want to be friends with north korea, man. those guys are crazy, man. yeah, i know. some more business news. "readers digest" has filed for bankruptcy just one week after the pope resigned. man, my grandmother hasn't been this depressed since michael buble got married. [ laughter ] yeah, she's really bummed out. i read that lawmakers in montana

are considering a bill that would make it legal for people to take road kill home and use it as food. [ light laughter ] when montana residents heard that they were like, "wait, that was illegal?" [ laughter ] i don't know what to do. this is scary. a new report shows that chinese hackers could one day take out america's power supply. or as that's also known, pulling a beyonce. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ that's all the "single lady" i do. that's all i do. and finally, a bar in washington, d.c. is selling a new cocktail for $1,500, it comes with a diamond. the bar says it's the perfect way to tell her, "you're my favorite hooker." we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ >> jimmy: oh, that is the one! [ cheers and applause ] that is the only, method man sitting in with the roots tonight! [ cheers and applause ] he's the greatest. method and the wu-tang clan are back together for a summer tour that will include a performance at the bonnaroo festival in tennessee in june. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming back. we love having you here. >> thanks for having me. thank you, brother. >> jimmy: we have a fun show tonight. he's one of my favorite comedians out there. david spade is here! [ cheers and applause ]

love david spade. >> steve: hilarious. >> jimmy: one of my favorites. she is a new, brand new cast member on "saturday night live," and everybody is talking about her. cecily strong is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! a delight. a delight. >> jimmy: good. and we have music from atlas genius tonight. it's gonna be good! [ cheers and applause ] fun times, yo. hey guys, it's time to take a look at these stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we will be taking a look at the "pros and cons" of going on a carnival cruise. [ laughter ] they are a popular choice for vacation. >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: but as you can see, recently things can go wrong. so let's take a look at the "pros and cons" of going on a carnival cruise. here we go. pro, it's a great way to get away from it all. con, like plumbing, food, basic human hygiene, stuff like that.

[ light laughter ] >> steve: vacation. >> jimmy: pro, carnival used to be the number one cruise line in the world. con, now it's mostly number two. [ laughter ] i get it. i get it. >> steve: i get it. i got it, yeah. i'm way ahead of you. >> jimmy: oh, get ready. there's a bunch more. >> steve: what? really? [ light laughter ] i'm shocked. >> jimmy: pro, with so many activities and amenities, you'll never want to leave. con, which is good because you can't. [ laughter ] >> steve: like camping on the ocean. >> jimmy: pro, your cruise ship has a state of the art 700-seat movie theater. con, it's playing "titanic" 3-d. [ laughter ] you can't do that. >> steve: no. don't want to do that. >> jimmy: shouldn't have that option. pro, checking out menu to see what you'll eat first if there's a buffet. con, checking out passengers to see who you'll eat first when the ship runs out of food. [ light laughter ] pro, meeting new friends on day one.

con, hating them by day three. "hey! morning, neighbor. how was your sleep?" [ light laughter ] pro, many cruise ships have a movie theater, a salon, shops and chain restaurants. con, it's basically a mall that can be attacked by pirates. [ light laughter ] pro, playing shuffleboard on the poop deck. here we go. con, playing shovel poop on the main deck. that doesn't make sense. that's not a game you play. >> steve: that's not a game a human would play. >> jimmy: no, we don't play that. >> steve: you know, what? i guess when in rome. >> jimmy: when in rome. finally, pro, going to the front of the boat and screaming "i'm the king of the world." con, watching a seagull fly by and squawk, "haven't seen anyone do that before." there you go, that's the "pros and cons." we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ lobsterfest is the king of all promotions.

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eat like that guy you know. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much for watching our show. i appreciate it. hey, guys, just the other day i was surfing the worldwide webster, and i came across one of those websites where you can type in a sentence and it will play back in a weird robot voice. have you guys seen these things? here, let me show you what i'm talking about here. like, i'll just type in.

"hi. my name is jimmy." press enter. [ robotic voice ] >> hi, my name is jimmy. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: pretty fun. it entertains me. right there. that's -- you can type absolutely anything in here. like steve higgins is our announcer. i'll just type in, "steve higgins." press enter. [ robotic voice ] >> stev heijens. >> jimmy: whatever -- [ laughter ] it's not perfect. but the interesting thing it's isn't just a random robot voice, it's the voice of an actual guy and he's been doing this for years. his name is walter kump. we've had him on the show before. he's always a lot of fun so we thought we'd have him back. you guys ready to meet him? [ cheers and applause ] please welcome walter kump, everyone. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, walter, how are you? >> i am good. thank you for asking.

>> jimmy: i've got to say. you -- got the sunglasses there. looking pretty stylish. >> oh, you must be talking about these sun shlasses. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you mean sunglasses. >> you say potato. i say potato. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, anyway, you look like a movie star in those things. i think you look good. >> it is funny you say that, jimmy, because i was just in hollywood. >> jimmy: wait, really? [ laughter ] hollywood, california? >> no. hollywood, iowa. yes, hollywood, california. come on, jimmy. >> jimmy: hey, i'm just making sure. speaking of hollywood, the oscars are this weekend. are you excited? >> oh, yes, jimmy. i love the oz-cars. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: walter, did you see any of the nominated movies?

>> yes. i saw r-joe. lincolon. dejanjo un-channed and life of pee. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they were all great. did you see -- did you happen to see "beast of the southern wild?" >> is that the movie with the little girl named -- [ robot voice gibberish ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] >> no. but i did see "less miserables." >> jimmy: you're not saying it right. it's "les miserables." >> oh, let me try again. [ with french accent ] "les miserables." >> jimmy: perfect actually. >> thank you. >> jimmy: now, i didn't ask you this before, but what were you doing in hollywood? >> i was acting in my very first ak-sheon movie. >> jimmy: wow, congrats walter. i knew you were doing some acting but i didn't know you were in an action movie.

incredible. >> oh yes, thank you, jimmy. i'm just trying to be like my favorite ak-sheon movie star. sealvester stay-lone. >> jimmy: i love sylvester stallone. i always loved "cliffhanger." that was a good one. do you have any favorite sylvester stallone movies? >> i love the row-key movies. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: the row-key movies? >> yeah. row-key, row-key i, row-key ii, row-key iii, row-key iv but row-key v was just okay. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] you mean the "rocky" movies. they are classics. well, i can't wait to see your movie when it comes out. >> i actually brought a clip of the ak-sheon movie. the good guy is played me and the bad guy played by kyle mac-lac-lan, but i'm a little nervous. do you think the audience would like to see it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you guys want to see a clip of walter's action movie? [ cheers and applause ] this is exciting. all right.

>> okay, okay, okay. roll, it dave. >> help! walter, help! >> do not worry, baby. i am here to save you. [ cheers ] >> you got the money? >> you mean the $2,000,000,000? >> yes. >> no. >> no money, no girl. >> wait, wait, wait. hold on. let me think now. wait, wait. just give me a second to let me think. let me think. >> what do you got to think about, hmm? you think you can take all of us? hmm? >> i don't just think i can. i can ka-no it. ♪

now, that is what i call bottle service. >> jimmy: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] that was incredible! walter. way to go. >> thank you, jimmy. i even did my own stoonts. >> jimmy: you did your own stoonts? wow. who knows? maybe you'll take home an oscar next year. >> yeah, right, jimmy, you are so funny. ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. >> jimmy: you're the best. ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for walter kump right there. stick around. we will be right back with david spade. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ okay, so i've got some of the new designs from the unicorn apocalypse game. awesome. share it up! ♪ really good stuff... well i wanted it to look like a real unicorn. the way they look in real life.

i really like how the horn is broken. yeah, it's decayed but still lethal. what about glitter for the mane? ♪ no glitter. they leave little glittery drops everywhere. one second, we're just going to make a quick sidebar. (whispering) there will never be glitter in this game. get more done together on the galaxy s3 and note 2. save up to $50 on samsung smartphones at best buy and best buy mobile. denny's everyday value slam egis four dollars every day. wait, is that right? eggs, bacon, pancakes. yeah. that's right. the four dollar everyday value slam. only four dollars every day. only at denny's. how advanced is the new ford fusion? well...it has outstanding pe rformance and handling... ...and it offers a plug-in hybrid that gets a projected 100 mpge. of course, there's still one thing it can't do. introducing the entirely new ford fusion.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a hilarious comedian and actor who stars in the cbs hit show "rules, rules -- rules -- [ light laughter ] it's actually called "rule of engagement" which airs mondays at 8:30 p.m. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome david spade! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey. that's what i'm talking about. >> you almost nailed that. >> jimmy: i almost nailed it. i'll get it next time. sorry. i'll do it next time. >> next show. nest show. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. hey, good to see you, buddy. thank you for coming back to the

show. i appreciate it. >> i'm in my perfect summery outfit when i forget it's winter. >> jimmy: yeah, you are. but it's nice. cassy v-neck. >> yeah, plashmir, it's from costco. [ laughter ] not bad. >> jimmy: i didn't know they sold that there. were you in new york for valentine's day? >> i was -- no. it was right before, and, you know that valentine's day is a bit tricky, as you know, when you -- when you're not married or anything solid. it's always like an awkward holiday. it's just designed to make people feel crummy. >> jimmy: it is a weird holiday. [ talking over each other ] i think all around people don't like it. >> right, because then they're like, i don't care. and then of course, you have to still get them something. it's just a weird thing, an i've dated in the past, and some sketchy girls. you might as well know now, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not you. not you. >> yeah, and i remember one time i got those candy hearts. but instead of like love me it says pay rent. [ laughter ] i'm like, no. that's sweet. and, one says "be my co-sign"

>> jimmy: yeah. [ talking over each other ] >> you can get that on your own. >> jimmy: specialized hearts made up. >> the stamping machine. >> jimmy: you went for it. >> i do think that sometimes girls -- you got to watch out for this. i heard a girl, a nice friend of mine say, "and my boyfriend, it's just so tough on valentine's day, they are working him all day so we have to go out the night before." >> i go, "he's married." it's a tough one to tell girls, but you're not working that hard on valentine's day. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he can't go to dinner. he can't see me for breakfast. don't be the 13th girl or the 15th. >> jimmy: february -- >> you got to be the 14th, yeah, yeah, yeah. if he's busy every 14th we've got some troubles. >> jimmy: he's married, yeah. absolutely, yeah. >> something happened. >> jimmy: that's good advice. i follow you on twitter. >> oh, that's nice. >> jimmy: i'm a big fan of yours. [ light laughter ] >> sort of a disappointment, but thank you. >> jimmy: no -- you have plenty of stories on there. >> sometimes. >> jimmy: funny pictures you put up there. >> well, i ran into a bit of a snafu because i take these twit