You think that if the kid stuck his head in the fence the head would come out as easy as it went in, right?
That's what you'd think.
You know, I think their heads swell up or something.
Well, anyway, he's a lucky kid. He's probably home right now having a great lunch.
We should be back to the staff room.
I'll see you there.
Okay.
That kid, he's probably home right now having a great lunch.
We should be back to the station in just a few minutes. Marco's cooking today, so...
Marco is?
Well, that's great. That's beautiful.
Listen, if I faint before we get there, just wave a bowl of Marco's chili underneath my nose, I think I'll revive.
Squad 51, man entered at the studio. 1-1800 Mammoth Drive, stage 3. 1-1800 Mammoth Drive, stage 3, Paul Street, Burnside.
Climb out 1348.
Squad 51.
Over there.
We were shooting a promo for Vic Blitzer's next film, Scream in the Wilderness, when this bear we were using turned on it.
It looked crazy. We got everybody out except Vic.
How big is this bear?
About 350 pounds.
Did you call the police?
Don't shoot my bear, please. She's never done anything like this before.
Has he hurt anywhere else?
No.
Well, the police are on their way, but I don't want to waste any time getting Vic out of there.
Are you sure he's still in there?
I saw him.
He was down.
It looks like you're taking care of him pretty well.
I tried to get the bear off him, but...
He is going to go to the hospital, isn't he?
Yes.
These are just some scratches. She's pretty well taken care of him, but I do want you to go to the hospital, okay?
Okay.
I think if a couple of guys went in, it would be kind of quiet. No big question, though.
Would a fire extinguisher help?
It might scare her. She's just a little irritated, that's all.
Yeah, we'll go in and get him if he's in there.
Hey, her name's Charlene.
Charlene?
Charlene.
Charlene, you got that?
If I forget, remind me.
All right.
Okay.
You too.
Okay.
Roy?
Where are you?
It's a good question.
Where are you?
I don't know.
If we bump into that bear, I'm not going to know which way to run.
Oh, that's great. I was planning on following you.
I'll meet you on the other side.
Okay.
Hey.
Vic?
Yeah.
You okay?
Almost.
Where's Charlene?
Hello?
Every time I make a move, she comes after me.
Quiet.
I found the bear.
No.
She's over by the coffee table.
You heard any place else beside your leg?
Probably eating the donuts.
She hates me.
I could tell from the minute I walked on the set from the way she looked at me.
Watch it. Watch it.
Come on. Let's get out of here.
Come this way.
No, no, no. Over here. Over here.
This way.
Here she comes.
There's a ladder.
There's one over here.
Okay.
Easy.
Let me go down first, all right?
Then you follow.
Yeah.
There's one over here.
Turn right here.
Okay. Let me go first again.
Set leg.
All right.
Okay.
Easy.
Got it?
Yeah.
Okay.
Now watch yourself down there.
There could be anyone.
That's easy.
Let's go. Let's go.
Follow me.
That's it.
Okay.
That's it.
Well, there doesn't seem to be any bone or nerve damage.
He should be all right in a few weeks.
Studio's sending a doctor over,
and we're gonna put him in a private room.
He's been here a while.
He'd like to talk to you.
Me?
Yeah, sure.
See you later.
I was hoping to have lunch before supper time.
Roy, how often do we get to talk to a movie star?
Yeah.
That'll give me a chance to get his autograph.
For Joanne and the kids.
Roy, that's not cool.
Huh?
That's not cool at all.
You don't just...
It's not cool at all.
Dr. Roberto Ilmanso.
Can I help you?
He's gotta see a doctor.
What's your name, please?
Gerard B. Hill.
G-E-R-A-R-D.
What seems to be the trouble, Mr. Hill?
I ache all over.
I think I've got a fever.
I feel crummy.
I don't feel so hot myself.
Would you like to have a doctor take a look at you?
No.
I think I'll just go on home tanks.
Ted, thanks for driving.
No problem.
Do you have hospitalization, Mr. Hill?
Yeah.
Pete, no, I respect you.
S-T...
You know that. It's not...
Mr. Webster wants to see you.
Thanks. Two?
Hi.
Hey.
I've gotta tell you guys you're the greatest.
I don't know how to thank you.
That's all right. We're just doing our job.
Is there anything I can do for you?
Anything at all?
No, it's like Roy said.
Yeah, he'd like to have your autograph.
Why didn't you say so?
Well, I didn't...
He's shy.
You're the greatest...
Vic Webster.
All right.
All righty.
Look, I'm gonna get out of here, uh, tomorrow, the next day,
and I'm throwing a little thing on it.
My place? You think you guys could make it?
Thing?
Yeah, you know, food, drink, bunch of people.
A little dancing, if you want.
Huh. Any girls?
It's movie time, Vic.
Well, look, I appreciate it. We'll be there, okay?
Oh, that's great. My place out in Bel Air around 3 o'clock.
Give us a chance to get better acquainted.
Yeah, okay.
And bring your wives if you want.
All righty. Thank you.
You're really something else. You're really incredible.
Cool. I'm cool.
Look at that.
You're the greatest, Vic Web...
Come here.
You know, he just invited us to a thing at his house.
You know what that means, don't you?
Yeah. Remember, I just asked him...
No, it's not quite what he's talking about.
He's invited us to a Hollywood badge.
That's what they call them, you know.
I read it in a magazine.
A badge. It's a Hollywood badge.
What room, Cal?
Oh, 6. Get him ready. I'll be right there.
Thanks.
I'll be right there.
Pretty tender.
Temperature's 102.8.
Do you hurt all over? I mean, not just in one or two spots.
Feels like every muscle I've got.
Please sit up, Mr. Hill.
How long have you had this rash?
A few days.
About the same length of time you've had the discoloration under your fingernails?
Yeah. What's causing that?
Well, it's a small area of hemorrhaging.
That bothers you? Yeah.
Is it painful? Kinda.
Okay, you can lie back down, Mr. Hill.
Carol, I want a CBC.
What's the matter with me?
I'm not sure yet.
You just lie there and relax. I'll be right back.
That's bad, isn't it? When they won't tell you.
Now, give the man a chance. We have to run some tests.
He'll let you know as soon as he finds out anything.
Yeah.
For sure.
Now, this is gonna sting a little.
The way I feel, I'll never notice.
Party at Vic Webster's. That ought to be interesting.
You know, you guys ought to meet a lot of famous people.
You know what would be great? If you guys would get discovered.
What do you mean?
Well, you know, if you guys would get discovered,
you know what would be great? If you guys would get discovered.
What do you mean?
You know, if you guys would get discovered,
you know what would be great? If you guys would get discovered.
What do you mean?
You know, like one of those producers that goes up to you and says,
I'd like to give you a screen test.
Marco, those things just don't happen in real life.
But you know what would be far out if you met Monique Morris?
Now, there's an incredible woman.
I'll admit she doesn't have a lot upstairs,
but the rest of her man is beautiful.
Well, I personally think that they'd be better off getting discovered.
Things like that just don't happen in real life.
Trichinosis.
That's right.
I'll move you upstairs. We'll run some more tests.
But I don't think there's any real question about it.
Oh, boy.
Luckily, you don't have a severe case.
Wait till June hears about this.
That's my wife.
It'll be. I told you so now until the end of time.
Why is that?
She's been telling me for years I'd get trichinosis.
I liked tartar steak, a good beefsteak, raw,
ground up with little onions, Worcestershire, and that's hard to beat.
When's the last time you had some?
Let's see now.
It was right after we left the McCreedy's.
They had a little cookout.
Just some hamburgers and stuff.
I wanted mine raw, so I took about one mouthful,
and it didn't taste too good, so I put it on the fire.
That was a week ago last Saturday.
And next day, Sunday, I wanted some more,
so I had some at home.
Where do you get your meat?
There's a little butcher shop down in the shopping center.
I'm going to have to notify the health department.
They'll probably send out a health department doctor to talk to you.
I'll be right back.
Oh, do you grind your own steak?
No. June has the guy do it at the store.
All right, thank you.
Hold it right there. I got this great part for you.
Sort of a comic relief.
Very funny. You're a laugh-a-minute, you are.
It's being funny, stranger things have happened, you know.
Well, I know that.
You can't help but to think now, can you?
I know. And if lightning should strike,
I want you to know that I'm always going to be
the same likable down-earth guy I've always been.
You can have an autograph any time you want it.
Boy, am I glad Joanne's going with you.
Keep you from going off the deep end.
She's not going to that party.
She says it's going to be boring.
Boring?
Well, that just shows you how much she knows about Hollywood.
Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know too much about Hollywood myself.
What are you supposed to wear to a bash?
Why'd you ask that question?
Because I have the answer right here for you.
There you go.
Tuxedo. Yep.
Well, guess we ran out some tuxedos, huh?
Yep.
What else for a genuine, authentic Hollywood bash?
Let's see. Dinner parties?
Soirees?
Are you kidding?
That's soiree. Soiree. It's French.
Soiree.
I don't see the word bash here anywhere.
Yeah, I didn't either, but I have a theory about that.
I figure that the word is just too new, you know, for the public at large.
It's just too new.
Station 51, Battalion 14. Bomb threat.
1754 North Curlin.
Meet the police at Hastings and Curlin.
Make this CODAR response. Time up.
Station 51, KMG 365.
You and Brooks cover the alley if you will.
Dumb nut. He's got his wife and her brother in there four doors down.
I feel like he's got dynamite placed all over on some kind of remote control.
Better not use a radio, Sam.
Right. I'm requesting a full assignment.
And another squad.
I'm not sure what they're doing.
Well, you guys, stand by on the alley.
What about evacuation?
Police are handling it.
OK. Well, they have supply lines.
We can go on that through here.
With the hose clamp on for me, we'll pull both our manifold lines.
Hey, Vince, how many people in there?
Sergeant says three.
So to get to bolt cutters.
How many houses?
Oh, one story jobs.
What, frame, wood siding?
Yeah, right.
OK, thanks a lot.
Back out of your way.
Cap, can you give us a hand?
Give us the ladder on the roof, please.
Yeah, you betcha.
Marco, Mike, throw the extension ladder up there.
What's going on?
I don't know. We just supposed to sit tight.
OK.
Hey, you guys, fuzz, peep-bulb, bums.
Now, I remember a guy being holed up like this once for two days.
I'll be back in a few minutes.
You just relax.
I'll draw some blood.
County Health Service.
Dr. Frank Gray, please.
May I speak to him, please?
This is Dr. Brackett calling.
It's urgent.
Frank Kell.
I think I got another case of trichinosis for you.
Yeah, his name's McCready.
And this may be a break.
That last case I reported, Jerry Hill.
This is the next door neighbor.
Hey, you guys, you got there.
Come on, get away.
Leave me alone, you hear?
Get away.
Get away from me, I tell you.
Leave.
Get away from here.
Yeah, blow the place up.
I don't even care.
You're going to blow everybody up,
and I got people inside of here.
I'll blow them up, too.
Get away.
Get away from me, I tell you.
Leave.
Get away from here.
Sarge, are we clear?
Come on in.
I got it, Sarge. I'll take it.
Hey, that's a woman coming up!
You guys take care of her?
Yeah, I got it. Go.
Alright, now, take it easy.
Oh, my God!
Calm down now, okay?
It's all over with us. It's all over.
Are you hurt anywhere?
Ma'am? Are you hurt anywhere?
No, I'm alright.
The Joe's still in there.
Okay, fine. They're gonna deal with that.
They're gonna deal with it.
You just calm down, okay?
There's a guy hurt in there.
You stay with her.
Here, it's your baby.
Yeah, it must be her brother.
Steve, you got him?
Yeah, we got him.
Alright.
There's another guy around here, someplace.
Another?
Yeah, we can go ahead and shoot here.
He went 20 over 95.
Come inside here, babe.
Mark it on the morning door, alright?
There's a shotgun.
Here he is.
Staying clear.
Okay.
He alive?
Yeah, he's alive.
I'll call Rampart.
Alright.
40% of your suffering is...
Yeah.
We've got to assume trichinosis even without a biopsy.
Any idea of the source?
So far, it's just a hunch.
Can I get all services, please?
Thanks, young.
You mentioned a little meat market.
2316 Sylvia Frank.
What's up?
Yeah.
Right.
We've got two more cases.
Both over at St. David's.
Couple named with Compton.
Let's go see McCready.
Spots 1451 are headed in explosion.
Two victims.
Alright, if you can't find Mike Morton, I'll be in one.
Okay.
With two-page Dr. Morton, please.
Mr. McCready, this is Dr. Gray from the county health department.
Mr. McCready?
Hello, Doc.
I know you're not feeling well, but we have to get on top of an outbreak like this
before a lot of people get sick.
I understand.
Now, your neighbors, the Hills, do they buy their meat where you go?
Yeah, they recommended the butcher to us.
But we haven't bought any pork in a month, at least.
Well, sometimes if a butcher doesn't clean his grinder too well,
contaminated pork can get mixed in with a hamburger.
That's about all it takes.
You know a couple named with Compton.
Ben and Edith, sure.
They live four doors up from us.
Are they sick, too?
I'm afraid so.
Do they buy their meat at Otto's?
I couldn't tell you that.
You had a cookout Saturday before last.
Were they there?
Yeah.
And you served hamburger?
Well, not exactly.
See, I was up in Cale County a couple of weeks ago,
and I met this guy, and I bought about five pounds of bear meat off him.
So I invited the Hills and the Comptons over,
and I didn't tell them what the meat was.
Thought I'd let them eat it and tell them about it later.
Kind of a gag.
I pulled the same thing on them once before with some buffalo meat.
This time, though, it didn't seem to be going over so good,
so I decided not to tell them anything about it.
Hey, hey, hey, I ground this meat myself, though.
It doesn't matter. Bears carry trichinosis.
Now, was there anybody else there?
No, just the six of us.
And four of you are sick.
Well, my wife wouldn't... she wouldn't eat any of it.
And Mrs. Hill cooks her meat thoroughly.
Oh, to a cinder, yeah.
The rest of us, though, we like it kind of raw.
Mr. McCready, you've been a big help.
Thank you.
I'll contact the health department in Cale County.
They probably have some cases.
Maybe they can run the rest of the meat down
and run some tests just to tie it down.
But I think this wraps it up.
Thanks, Kel.
Anytime, Frank.
I don't mind telling you, this is a load off my mind.
Same here.
Hey, Roy, you ready for the big party?
Yep. Got some tuxedos running out, everything.
No kidding. Yep.
Look, if you run into Monique Morris,
will you do me a big favor?
What? Yeah, yeah, the sex symbol.
But will you really take a good look?
Huh? Yeah, I mean, force yourself.
And let me know if you think it's really all her.
The rumor is that, uh,
it was all done in Switzerland.
Did you see all the reporters and all the camera men
and all the newspaper men that are out in the front?
Must be a couple dozen of them.
Well, he's in for a lot of surgery,
but, uh, he'll make it.
Did he say why he did it?
He said he was going to be a good guy.
He said he was going to make it.
Did he say why he did it?
Blew up a house,
started a fire,
tore himself and another man up.
What did he tell me?
Good question.
Hey!
Thought you said 315.
Slow and easy, slow and easy.
Don't want to be the first one there.
I left your tag on.
Well, I sure hope we fit in all right.
Yeah, once the ice was broken,
we were all set to go.
I'm looking forward to this.
Oh.
Hey.
More speed.
What?
You see Vic anywhere?
What do we do?
Go to the bar.
Have a beer, please.
Cheers.
Where you going?
What?
Now what do we do?
Relax.
Nobody's going to notice.
Succeedos.
Roy.
Look at the guy at the end of the bar,
in the blue suit.
Lawyer's show on Thursday night.
That's it.
The head was taller.
No, Harry, that script's been around
for over a year.
It's a guaranteed loser.
Hey, I'm sure glad you can take it.
How are you?
You got your drinks, everything, huh?
Yeah.
Hey, everybody.
Hey, listen.
Listen, I want you to meet two of the greatest
guys in the world.
Roy DeSoto and John Gage.
They risked their skins
to save little old me.
You guys can play on my team anytime.
Right, right.
Hey, that was a great thing you guys did
the other day.
Harry's my agent.
How do you feel?
Never better.
I'm suing the studio, you know.
Yeah, no, I wish you'd reconsider.
You know, you're jeopardizing a great relationship.
Harry, the points in the contract.
They won't let me ride my dirt bike
when we're shooting film, right?
So they put me on a sound stage with a crazy bear?
That just doesn't make any sense.
Excuse me.
Hey, Jonesy. Hey, hey.
Yeah, but listen, make... Jonesy!
You know,
speaking of bears,
the other day at the hospital they were talking about
all these cases of trichinosis caused from eating bear meat.
It's funny how those things happen, you know.
Right.
See you about it.
It's a great bash, isn't it?
Oh, you're those two distributors from Canton, Ohio.
We're from L.A.
DeSoto Engaged, of course.
I saw the last one you did. Beautiful.
Really, a beautiful cinematic statement.
Oh, hi!
Hey, hey!
I'm glad I didn't get the shirt with the ruffles.
Hey.
Come on in.
Kind of noisy outside.
Grotesque.
Oh, Vic's a nice guy. He really is.
But he gives lousy parties.
Aren't you morning warts?
Sit down.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
On top of which, I have the worst agent in town.
Do you know what he's done to me now?
He has locked me into a deal that you wouldn't believe.
Peanuts up front.
Share billing.
And I have to spend the entire month of August
on location in Arizona.
I said, Glenn, come on.
I mean, the costumes they put me in,
I'm gonna look like a baked lobster by noon, day one.
Besides, who wants to spend August in the desert?
I mean, if it was a great script, maybe.
But this thing, it's some silly thing
where I'm being chased around by some psychopaths.
Well, it's that time to mingle.
Vic must have eardrums made out of cowhide.
I'll see you in a couple minutes.
Oh, you haven't heard the worst yet.
Hey, Roy.
What do you say we get out of here?
All right.
Look at this thing.
Aah!
Excuse me.
You got a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
Would you call the fire department, please?
I just did.
Great. Thank you. Thank you. Let's back up.
Thank you.
All right, all right. Good, good. We got it carotid.
It must have been a VTAC.
Yeah, I think so.
That's beautiful. Beautiful.
Well, at the rate you guys are going, you're going to save half the industry.
I'm glad we could help out.
Listen, I'm sorry about the way this little thing turned out.
Oh, it's all right.
I'm going to have another one next month on the 15th. Can you guys make it?
Oh.
Well, we'll have to take a look at our shift calendar.
Yeah, right. But we'll let you know, though.
I feel a lot safer with you here.
All right.
Well, back to the old fans.
Yeah.
Right, Harry?
Right. Take care, fellas.
Okay. You take it easy, okay?
Yeah, I'll take care of it.
All right. See you later.
Take care, boys.
Hey, you do know who was the smartest one of the bunch, don't you?
Monique Morris. You knew exactly what to do.
Ain't she incredible?
She and herself together.
You know how she's really going to ruin Kelly's fantasy. You know that.
Yeah. Are you going to go to this party?
Or are you?
Well, neither am I. I don't know that party.
You know what really is a shame?
I mean, look at this. I mean, here we are.
We're in our tuxedos, right? We're leaving.
No place to go. We're wasting our money.
We're wasting our tuxedos.
No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I've got an idea.
This is incredible.
This is going to be the greatest evening of our lives.
Just take my word for it.
Listen to this. Money's going to be no object at all. No object at all.
Oh.
Can you do the guy a quarter? I didn't put anything in.
Thanks a lot.
Paying your buddy over here is.
Okay. Thanks a lot.
We'll go down here to the corner.
We'll get a newspaper. We'll look in the calendar section.
You