[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] of course, andy richter, [ cheers and applause ]

>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are --

and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow. that is what i am talking about. they're great. thank you very much, everybody. thank you for coming. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." happy tuesday, you guys. thousands of screaming fans camped out to see the stars of the new "twilight" movie walk the red carpet last night. so, my apologies if i sound a little hoarse today. [ light laughter ] "taylor!" well, the president is in china now. and he had 71 cars in his

motorcade drive from the the airport to beijing. 71 cars. there's 1 car for the president, 2 for secret service and then 68 for obama's advisers on the environment. [ laughter ] i mean, it was all the way fine until the 34th car drove through the yellow light and left everyone else behind. it was like, "hey, we don't know where we're going! we're in china, man!" [ laughter ] 71 cars, meanwhile, somewhere in the world, al gore shed a single tear. he's like -- [ laughter ] they didn't need 71 cars. i mean, trust me. i've been to china. they could fit nine guys on a scooter and still have room for a crate of fish. [ laughter ] they got it handled over there. [ applause ] while he was there, president obama spoke out against censorship at a town hall meeting in shanghai. and you're not gonna believe what he said about it. obama was like -- [ bleeping ] "and that's that." [ laughter ] and then he was like -- [ bleeping ]

[ laughter ] and that's it. that's all he said. and then quickly he was like -- [ bleep ] [ laughter ] while he was there, obama toured the forbidden city, also known as the imperial palace. bill clinton once visited the forbidden city and the imperial palace. but they were both strip clubs in vegas. [ laughter ] different places. hey, did you see guys see "oprah" yesterday. sarah palin was on it. sarah palin said that running for president in 2012 is not on her radar screen right now. [ light laughter ] which was really, really, really upsetting for democrats. [ laughter ] [ applause ] no, no, it's okay. [ laughter ] that's fine. you were worried about me for a second. that's all right. [ laughter ] you guys, a new study found that vacuuming can reduce men's sperm count because they are exposed to electromagnetic fields. yeah, the study was printed in "best excuses ever" magazine. [ laughter ]

"you want me to vacuum, not if you want to have any kids!" [ laughter ] "i guess, i should probably go play playstation, get my sperms ready." [ laughter ] you guys hear this? "the oxford dictionary" declared that the 2009 word of the year is "unfriend." [ light laughter ] to unfriend means to completely delete somebody you don't like from your life. or as cnn calls it, lou dobbs them. [ laughter ] yeah, unfriend is the word of the year. it beat out manscaping, man cave and lady-boner. [ laughter ] i can see why not. lady-boner is, like, hyphenated. that's, like, two words. [ laughter ] nintendo's coming out with a new videogame that lets nerds take girls out on dates and kiss them. [ laughter ] you can play at three skill levels, beginner, beginner or beginner. [ laughter ] it's a fun game. but before you get to the girl, a virtual dad comes on and explains about the bird and the bee button. [ light laughter ]

one geek, yeah. one geek got that. "i like it." [ laughter ] you guys, a group of scientists in britain received a $10 million grant to make a harry potter-style invisibility cloak. the first thing they're gonna make invisible -- that $10 million. [ laughter ] that's really -- come on. and finally, sarah palin's memoir, "going rogue" came out today. you can find it on book shelves next to levi johnston's new memoir, "going commando." [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, we got a great, great, great super fun show tonight. the beautiful, the talented -- the one and only shakira is here, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] woo-hoo! i love shakira. wow, i love her. the legendary comedy duo cheech and chong are in the house. [ cheers and applause ]

they are singing their classic tune, "mexican americans," with the roots. it's gonna be fun. [ light laughter ] also, we have neko case will be performing. [ cheers and applause ] beautiful voice on neko case. what a great show, man. this is an unbelievable show. i grew up with cheech and chong. as a comedian, you just, you just end up owning all of these records. i collect comedy records. but growing up, i had the cassettes. i had "cheech and chong's greatest hit." and it's them holding a giant joint. it's like -- [ laughter ] yeah, that's the name of the greatest hits album. and that has, like, "sister mary elephant" on there. remember that one, like -- [ in a woman's voice ] "class, class. shut up!" [ light laughter ] "sergeant stadanko," i used to love that. "let's make a dope deal," "dave's not here" -- you know that? [ as tommy chong ] "who is it?" [ as cheech marin ] "it's dave, man. open up. i got the stuff." [ as tommy chong ] "dave's not here, man." [ as cheech marin ] "no, this is dave. i got the stuff." [ laughter ] yeah, it's so good. it's such a great bit. i used to memorize it and listen to the whole thing. then they broke up for while in

the '80s, which was awful. devastating for anyone, who just, you know, was a fan of theirs. then they came back with the album "get out of my room," which is -- i used to love -- that's with the song "born in east l.a." did you ever hear that one? ♪ born in the east l.a. man, i was ♪ it's like, it was a spoof of "born in the usa." i used to love that. and there was a sketch on there that was called "dorm radio." and me and my friend mike amato if you're watching, mike -- we would get together in my garage and lip sync it. i don't know what for. we'd just put the video camera out. and we'd lip sync it. and cheech, it was like, cheech was dj at a college dorm radio or something. and he was like -- [ in a nerd voice ] "this is dorm radio, d-o-r-m, broadcasting live from the basement of the science building. [ laughter ] and then chong would go, "hey, man, you're spitting all over the mic, man. come on. there's a mic short, now, man." like, and i just remember doing it over and over again. and they're idols of mine. so i'm just so psyched to have cheech and chong. i want to welcome them here to our studio. and thanks for having them on our show tonight. [ cheers and applause ]

thank you. cheech and chong. so good. it's going to be fun. you guys may have heard about this. sarah palin's new book, "going rogue," comes out today. well, it's already a huge best-seller, and we've got the book right here. and -- wait. it's gone. where it is? [ light laughter ] where's the book? where's "going rogue?" >> he's going rogue, he's going rogue. >> what? >> i'm going to kill you. >> don't worry, buddy. this is not a drill. i need all hands on deck, need everybody sharp. everybody, bring your a-game. am i making myself clear? here we go again, people. i need answers look at your computers. start tapping on those keys. let's go. get on the horn. let's go, people!

>> hey, a little information. there's our perp. 413 pages. 13 1/2 ounces, published by harper. >> this is the wrong man. [ laughter ] >> i got him. i got him. [ gunshots ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you might want to come and take a look at this. >> my god, i think that's one of the photos we were talking about. >> take it again. take it again! [ light laughter ] >> okay, everyone, this changes everything. [ whistling ] >> what's up, earl? [ laughter ] >> you.

[ gunshots ] [ laughter ] >> hey! hey, hey. easy, easy buddy. hey, it's not worth it, man. [ laughter ] ♪ [ dramatic music plays ] [ laughter ] [ applause ]

>> freeze. yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, well. i guess we'll buy another copy tomorrow. look, we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody. come on back. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] bud light and golden wheat, well i thought that was never going to happen. - of course it was going to happen. - she practically threw herself at him. oh! ask her out i told him, you're americs favorite beer. - you could see he wanted her. - we all wanted her. bud light sealed the deal. ( music, alarm sounds ) ♪ you and me, baby, wait and see ♪ ♪ you know, yeah, one and one makes three ♪ ooh, that's nice. introducing bud light golden wheat. light beer. huge flavor. they hooked up and you're gonna fall in love.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back, and thank you so much for watching at home. i appreciate it. hey, are you guys ready for something shocking? [ cheers ] >> steve: i have a third nipple. >> jimmy: no, no, no. [ laughter ] i was talking about our awesome game called "shock absorbers." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, all right. as you guys know, it's football season. and since our show is here in new york, who better to play "shock absorbers" than the super bowl xlii champions? ladies and gentlemen, from our

own back yard, the new york giants linebacker danny clark, offensive lineman david diehl and defensive tackle fred robbins, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. hi, there, buddy. thanks so much for coming on. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thanks, buddy. a pleasure. thanks for coming on. how you doing? >> good. we're good. >> jimmy: gosh, you're big people. oh, my gosh. thanks for coming on the show, man. now, you guys had a tough week, last week. what's your strategy for this week. you're up against the falcons, right? >> win. it's always the strategy. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> just bounce back. we just had our bye week. we're coming back. we're healthy. and we're ready to make a playoff push here, man. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: who do you think is your biggest rival this year? >> you know, it's philly in my opinion. i missed out on the super bowl, missed out on the super bowl two years ago. so, they put us out last year. we gotta get this thing going. >> jimmy: all right, good. i love it. i think -- you think speed and reflexes are a part of the game? that's the biggest part of the game, right? >> yeah. >> oh, yeah. definitely. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. because we're going to play a game of speed and reflexes. let's bring out the shock-a-tron 3000. ♪

>> jimmy: thank you, sarah. ♪ shock-a-tron shock-a-tron let me shock it ♪ ♪ shock-a-tron let me shock it all i wanna do ♪ ♪ shock-a-tron let me shock it shock-a-tron ♪ ♪ all right let me let feel for you ♪ all right, sorry. >> you need the hair, tough. you need the big puff, more. >> jimmy: i do need that, yeah. all right. so, this is seriously a real game. i am nervous playing. i'm sweating already. what i do is everyone take one of the grips. it won't -- nothing will happen to you yet. no, no, don't do it! don't press that button, please. [ laughter ] here's the deal. just take it right now. and when we press the button, okay -- man. [ light laughter ] all right. we hold these metal grips, and when i press the button, it goes red. and it plays a song. when the button is green in the middle, you gotta press the button. whoever presses the button first -- oh, whoever pressed the button last gets zapped, and you're out of the game. >> all right. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, man, you get shocked. all right. man, i hate this game so much. [ laughter ] i don't know why i do this. are you guys ready? all right. >> yeah. >> i'm ready.

>> jimmy: all right, here we go. ♪ >> jimmy: oh, god! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got the first one already. gosh. >> oh, yeah. he got involved. >> yeah. >> he got involved. >> jimmy: all right. you ready? >> i think we have a flopper over here. >> jimmy: no, no, no. really -- that one killed me. you'll get it. ready? "shock-a-tron." ♪ >> oh, that's me. >> jimmy: you got it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's how you react? [ laughter ] [ applause ] what have you got like -- let go of it, for god's sake. no, let go of it. [ laughter ] what's wrong with you? are you electrified? you got electric hands. >> it just zapped me. come on. >> jimmy: what do you mean? that would killed me. that went up my arm. this was nothing? here we go. all right, gosh. one, two, shock-a-tron. ♪ >> ah! >> jimmy: you got it? all right. looks like we got a winner. [ cheers and applause ] come here, man. you got tonight's prize, the golden shock absorber.

there you go, buddy. right there, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] the golden shock absorber, and for the runners up, you get these the way-too- small "late night with jimmy fallon" t-shirts. [ laughter ] i think these will fit, right? >> fat guy in a little shirt. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. you can wear it under your jersey, it'll be perfect. you can wipe your nose with it. [ laughter ] you're electric. i don't even think you're human. i mean, geez, you're powering the mics, all by yourself. you're like, "yeah, i just got shocked." it's pretty amazing. well, kick butt this week, man, you guys, right? >> thank you. we will. >> jimmy: hey, you guys are great sports. give it up for the giants, everybody! when we come back, shakira! [ cheers and applause ] come on back. that was awesome, buddy. that killed me. thanks so much. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] (a nnouncer) we call it the american renewal because we believe that ideas are limitless. that's why, everyday at ge, thousands of scientists and researchers at our global research centers and throughout the company are redefining what's possible by creating the advanced technologies that create jobs. the american renewal is happening right now.

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please! announcer: it doesn't matter why you need queso, it just matters how you make it. just add ro*tel to velveeta... and you've got queso. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. my arm's going to be shaking the whole show now. our first guest is a grammy award-winning recording artist who sold over 50 million albums worldwide. her new record "she wolf" is out monday, november 23rd. her latest video "give it up to me" just debuted on the internet yesterday. take a look. ♪ >> jimmy: please welcome the

♪ ♪ >> jimmy: please welcome the lovely and amazing shakira. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: shakira! wow. beautiful. thank you so much. you look gorgeous. >> well, thank you. >> jimmy: thanks so much for coming. come on. >> nice to be on the show. >> jimmy: oh, thank you.

i appreciate that. oh, i'm blushing. i'm not -- maybe not blushing, but the blood just rushed out of me, because i was just playing this game which is insane -- you don't want to play it. >> i am very intrigued. >> jimmy: no -- it is a -- it's a game where you hold these things and you get shocked if you lose. >> oh, no thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, it's not good. >> i have better things to do. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. see, i'm like a dope. i keep going back for more. i'm like pavlov's dog. i just keep going every time i hear -- "i want to play again. i want to win." it's just ridiculous. hey, that video is number one on youtube. it just debuted yesterday, and everyone's is forwarding it to each other, it's gigantic. >> i can't believe it. >> jimmy: it's so cool, and you're doing -- it's a different type of dancing for you, too. >> yeah, it's stepping, actually. yeah, don't ask me how i learned that, because i am really bad taking choreography. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, i'm not a trained dancer, so, usually i just like to improvise. >> jimmy: is that what that is? >> this time around -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: phenomenal -- phenomenal improvising. yeah, absolutely. yeah, you are so talented. >> this time around, i wanted to learn something new, and -- this whole, like stepping thing, and it's something -- it's a dance

form very much. very common at colleges. it's crazy. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, they all do that. yeah. >> so, it took me a couple of days, but after a while, i got it. >> jimmy: yeah, i couldn't -- >> at one point, i almost gave up on it. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> mm-hmm. [ laughter ] if anyone asks you, jimmy -- >> jimmy: i like it. that's pretty good. see, if i did that at a club, people would be like "hey, dude, you're in the wrong place. you've got to get out of here. no one dances like that." i can't pull it off at all, but you do. you look amazing up there. >> you play the guitar really well. >> jimmy: i do? thank you. oh, please! thank you. >> so, everybody has a talent. >> jimmy: see. you're so positive and nice. [ laughter ] i just had three huge giants, football players, just making fun of me, yeah, so it feels really good. [ laughter ] i want you here more often. now, your accent? what are you? >> i'm colombian. >> jimmy: colombian, that's right. [ cheers ] but you live in the bahamas, right? >> i do. >> jimmy: that's right. that's gorgeous. >> it is, yes. >> jimmy: i vacationed in the bahamas.

>> yeah, ever since i started going to the bahamas, because of the legendary studio where some of my favorite bands record like zeppelin and the cure and bob marley as well. >> jimmy: i was reading about that, yeah. >> and ac/dc, all those bands, yeah. >> jimmy: ac/dc. they recorded in the bahamas? >> i was really intrigued by the place. yeah, they recorded in the bahamas at a studio called compass point, so from the times of "laundry service," i started going to the bahamas, and one day i said "let's get a house here." and i love it there. you know, the bahamians are so chill and sometimes i don't even wear shoes for days and i mean my feet like this all day. it is great. when i am not working, of course. >> jimmy: well, i do that in the office here and nobone seems to mind. [ laughter ] i'm in my pj's all day, yeah. aarefoot, absolutely, i'm just dancing and the guys are like "we're getting canceled." [ laughter ] come on, stop it. but yeah, you -- because you're huge in pop music. i think it was first, like the latin, first -- that's what you did first. and latin pop, but i didn't know that your roots were, like, rock

'n' roll. i guess you'd have to go pop first. you can't really go from rock 'n' roll to pop. >> yeah. it all seemed like i was going to be a rock chick. like, when i was 18 and i started touring latin america, i was very much into things like rock music and i listened to nirvana and metallica and all of these hardcore bands. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah. and then i did this thing with crossover and i became a pop artist, which is great, because it gives me so many licenses, you know? it gives me a license to go in anywhere and any direction i want. go, i can go -- >> jimmy: yeah, you can -- >> any -- >> jimmy: type of genre of music, yeah. you can go -- >> exactly, because rock and roll, sometimes, has certain rules that you cannot break. you're not supposed to break, you know? as a pop artist, there's a certain freedom to it that i really enjoy. >> jimmy: that's super fun, yeah. because i also read, too, that you -- to learn english, you read a lot of bob dylan lyrics.

>> bob dylan, yeah. leonard cohen. >> jimmy: yeah, leonard cohen, yeah. >> if i was going to learn english, i better learn from the masters. >> jimmy: yeah, they are great, but thank god you didn't -- >> everything about, you know, the resources of english literature and composition and all of that. >> jimmy: thank god you didn't end up singing like bob dylan, because that would have been hard to listen to. [ laughter ] [ imitates bob dylan ] ♪ i'm going out tonight but my hips don't lie ♪ [ laughter ] >> that would have been interesting. >> jimmy: that would have been interesting. and you would have been like, i wish -- "i should have gotten into rock and roll." but more on this album. you have to tell me about the -- is it the barefoot foundation? >> yes. >> jimmy: now, tell me, what is that? what are you doing with that? >> when i was 18, i decided to establish this foundation in colombia. basically, we focus on providing education, and food, and psychological support, and building schools for kids who have -- who belong to families who have

lost it all, have been displaced by violence. who live in extreme poverty or situations of conflict in the middle of the cross fire because of the internal conflict in my country. so, we've been working on that since i was 18 years old, and -- >> jimmy: wow. >> and, yeah -- >> jimmy: that is cool. so, you got into that at 18. that's pretty adult of you. at 18, i was, like, doing whippets in a parking lot somewhere. [ laughter ] >> good for you. >> jimmy: for charity. for charity. [ laughter ] but i mean, that's pretty cool, i mean, you have good guidance. and is it your parents or your manager, or who was helping you through this? >> well, i grew up in a developing world, and i grew up seeing so much social injustice and so much inequality. latin america is the one region in the world with the biggest inequality, and that means that a lot of the people have nothing. and a few people have a lot and there is a huge gap between the poor and the rich. and i know for sure that education is the way to close

that gap to make it smaller and it's the right strategy to fight poverty. i've seen it with my own eyes. i've seen how education transforms the lives of not only the kids, but also their families. and that's why in our schools, we really insist on not only providing food for the kids and making sure that they receive high quality education, but also making sure that the schools are also community centers. that they're open to the entire community, to the youngsters so they can enjoy sports facilities. and it's really, like, a mother with open arms, almost. like, or an analogy to that, because many places in colombia, there is a lack of government refuge, you know? or there has been for many, many years. >> jimmy: how do people find out more about this? they go -- do you have a website? >> yeah, we do have a website. barefootfoundation.org. >> jimmy: barefootfoundation.org. >> yes. >> jimmy: that's really cool that you're doing that. that's very, very awesome. because you've got all that fame and you do something with your fame, and you're doing it. [ applause ] that's really, really cool.

>> and you know, but it is also gives me so many satisfactions, you know, it's not a sacrifice at all. it's something i enjoy, gives me a lot of joy. >> jimmy: you're so much fun. every time i see you, you always look like you're having so much fun. >> but i didn't do it by myself. not at all. >> jimmy: no, of course. >> i have a lot of people that help, and volunteers and even american people who travel through central colombia and volunteer their time and their energy and the efforts. and that's what makes it exciting. >> jimmy: you can't do it alone, yeah. power in numbers, yeah. i was going to ask you, did you see "saturday night live" a couple of weeks ago? taylor swift hosted the show, and she did an impression of you. have you seen it? >> i know. yeah, i've seen it. it was so funny. >> jimmy: it's pretty good. >> and we all have a she-bunny. >> jimmy: because you had the record as "she-wolf." that's your record. >> and we always say that we all have a she-wolf inside. >> jimmy: yeah, so, she said you have a she bunny inside. and they were doing like a fake cartoon called "office bunnies" or "bunny business" or something like that. and she sings one of the songs

on the soundtrack as you. we have a clip. take a look. ♪ ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] that's pretty good, right? shake your body. she's very good. well, the one and only, right here, shakira! "she wolf" in the stores november 23rd. the beautiful, the talented, shakira, everybody. cheech and chong join us next. come on back. you got to come back whenever you want, do a bit. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ in party cardis for just $19, amy and heather are the life of the party. shake your party cardi. whoo! whoo! whoo! whoo! wearing the ruffled cardi, amy meets a real man. hey! he was cute.

but their partying doesn't stop there. you up for more dancing and an after party cardi? you betcha! i even brought my jazz hands! these party cardis are just 19 bucks, but are they too much fun? find out this week at old navy. awhile ago i had this idea. all this stuff in my house should just work together. well windows 7 comes out and you know what? now it does. now documents from my work pc can print over there. and music from that computer we can listen to on that computer. the stuff we watch over here, (pointing to sons laptop) we can watch over here. (pointing to tv in the room) my little idea has come to life. i know i shouldn't take all the credit, but... it's my house. hey, feet off the table. i'm a pc and windows 7 was my idea.

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like the rich, creamy taste of cool whip, that turns a moment into a memory. the one and only cool whip. make the moment. make it cool whip. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. and thank you so much for watching. our next guests are comedy legends who invented the stoner genre. they're currently playing sold-out stand-up shows all over the country. please welcome the legendary cheech marin and tommy chong, also known as cheech and chong, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: yes! wow! cheech and chong, wow. >> hey, jimmy, how are ya? >> jimmy: welcome to the show. you guys fans of shakira? >> yes, i like her a lot. >> jimmy: yes, she's awesome. [ laughter ] >> she looks, like, real nice fun. >> jimmy: yeah, she's real nice fun, yes. thanks for coming on the show. i really appreciate you guys being here. i mean, there's a lot going on, sarah palin's got a book -- did you pick up the book? >> no, it was too heavy. [ laughter ] >> we got an advanced copy. >> jimmy: you did? did you like it? [ laughter ] oh, my god. >> i just wanted to use it to clean my weed with. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what you use it for, yeah. have you ever been to alaska? >> yeah, i have. we have been to alaska, yeah. >> jimmy: beautiful up there. >> a lot of bears. >> jimmy: yeah.

>> a lot of good dope. >> jimmy: yeah. is there? yeah. good stuff up there? >> yeah. >> thunder [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry. oh, yeah? >> from the thunder [ bleep ] valley, you know. >> jimmy: that's the name -- that's the official name of it. it's pretty good stuff. well, yeah. all right. well, for the kids that watch our show, i just want to let them know, first of all, get thunder whatever, and yeah, if you are into that. also, but the movie they should watch. you have to own "up in smoke", "cheech and chong's next movie," "nice dreams," "things are tough all over," these are classic movies -- i mean, phenomenal, and get all of the records, too. i mean, gosh, i just had every one of the records. >> tell them what records are first of all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they are these giant pieces of vinyl with a little hole in the middle and it spins around. >> like frisbees. >> jimmy: they're like frisbees, yeah, but they play music. yeah, it's pretty good. "big bamboo" was a great record that you guys put out where it

was a giant -- looked like a giant pack of rolling papers. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you open it up, and there was a giant -- >> there was a giant paper inside. >> jimmy: it was such a great comedy album to get because it's just hilarious. and you are the life of the party. >> you have no idea how many people said "hey, guess what we did with that." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. yeah, completely -- >> "hey, we smoked it too, man." >> jimmy: that is so wild. this is great. i mean, we had monty python on our show, and we were just talking to them about all of the legendary things they did and how their fans recite their bits back to them. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you guys have that same problem? >> oh, every day. they come up to us and they start reciting the bits and i don't know whether it's from a movie or a record or we did it, or -- [ laughter ] they keep going, and the longer they go, the more crazy they are. and we're like "okay, we have to go now." >> jimmy: and it's like "no, you don't get it though, dave wasn't there." it's like, "yeah, we wrote that. we did that." >> we got busted one time in tampa, florida. and the cops were fighting among

themselves of who was the biggest fan to take us down in the paddy wagon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "who here likes cheech and chong? we got them. and we've got to arrest them." oh, my god. you were just in jail? >> yeah. well, five years ago. >> jimmy: yeah, but still. that's recent enough. [ laughter ] >> yeah, they sent him to the rock. >> jimmy: that's not fun, is it? >> my butt's healed, so it's all good. [ audience ohs ] i'm just kidding. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's kidding. it's not healed at all. [ laughter ] he's going through surgery as we speak. sorry about that. but, you guys ended up -- >> well, if we had health care, though. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did. absolutely. >> i was very concerned, because they made me show them my butt every time i went in to visit, and they would check me out. >> yeah, every time we get a visitor, he has to go through an anal cavity search and so i went and visited him in the slam one time, and i said "well i'll come back." and he was like, "no, no, that's okay. you don't have to come back. that's all right." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like "that's enough, man. take care.

thanks for visiting." "send me a letter or something." >> the guards that search you, they get used to it. you know, one time, i think they had me bend over and they're looking up my butt. and i swear, this is a true story, he goes "hey, have you seen cheech lately?" [ laughter ] "no. why? is he up there?" >> jimmy: "that just reminded me. how is cheech doing?" [ laughter ] that's not a good time to have a conversation at all. >> was it like, it reminded them of me? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: either way, i would be offended. yeah, don't have a conservation with me at all. >> we had -- i had cheech and chong fans there, and they would wake me up in the middle of the night and say "hey, man, they're playing your movie on the television." >> jimmy: and you go -- in jail? >> like they said "you ever miss cheech?" i was in jail with, like, a lot of cheeches. >> jimmy: everybody has a tattoo, it says cheech on their arm. yeah, everyone misses cheech, yeah. >> the pedro cheech, you know? >> jimmy: yeah. oh, absolutely.

yeah, yeah. i want to ask you, in the '80s, you guys just broke up. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what was the reason? >> eh, we got tired of each other, you know? >> you want to know the truth? he left me for don johnson. that's what happened. [ laughter ] >> i didn't either. i left you for geraldo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. you ended up doing "nash bridges" and stuff like that, but then you did other stuff too. >> "that 70's show." >> jimmy: "that 70's show" and then -- >> i cornered the market on all of the stoner -- >> jimmy: yeah, you just took whatever you could, yeah. >> i just played one character and cheech showed off how many characters? >> how many mexicans i can do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, how many is that? how many are you up to now? >> i'll go with seven, i think. [ laughter ] i'm an official mexican. >> jimmy: so, that's pretty good. that's awesome. not bad. >> cheech said, "you want the mustache on or off?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, which one do you want? yeah, exactly. >> i'll tell you. it was a funny story. i was in jail and i read -- [ laughter ] i read the thing about cheech is -- he's a love interest for tyne daly. >> in "judging amy." >> "judging amy." and when i read that, i fell on the floor laughing, dude.

[ laughter ] >> it must have been hilarious in prison. [ laughter ] >> tyne daly looked like one of the guards. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but you're out on the road now and you're doing all of these sold out dates. it's called the "get it legal" tour. >> and we're just about to start the "get it legal" tour on january 16th. >> jimmy: you're going to milwaukee -- [ cheers and applause ] that's really cool. you're going to milwaukee, reno, tucson. that's just in one week. that's next week. gosh, you're really going for it. >> well, we toured all last year, too, and we did, i think, 138 dates in the united states, canada and australia. we toured australia, too, and it was fun. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> another funny thing, the lady, the prosecutor that put me in jail. her named was mary beth buchanan, she just resigned, and it was on the internet i think yesterday. her only regret was that she accepted a plea from tommy chong. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, what does that mean? >> that's her only regret. >> jimmy: that's her only

regret. oh, my god. >> the head of the, you know, the u.s. attorneys. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's her only regret. >> her only regret. yeah. >> jimmy: that's kind of a badge of honor. [ laughter ] >> they sentenced him to nine months because if they gave him a year, which was the sentence, he could get time off for good behavior, but nine months, you couldn't. you had to do the whole nine months. >> jimmy: oh, man. they really gave it to you. unbelievable. for all of the good comedy you gave us. >> well, it got us back together again. >> jimmy: well that worked out pretty good then. >> it gave us a reason to call our tour "get it legal" because if we "get it legal" then guys like me wouldn't go to jail. because i went to jail for a bong, you know? selling a pipe. >> jimmy: yeah, you weren't even possessing anything? >> no, we're almost close to getting it legal. it's quasi-legal now and we figured "we've got a black president, come on, this is our shot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're going to take it. you're close. yeah, you'll get it. yeah. now everything's on cheechandchongtour.com and you can pre-buy your tickets, and

also cheechandchong.com has all your records that you can buy and the movies i was talking about. so, you guys have to do that and check that out, because these guys are the best. they're legends. you'll be so happy you did. do you guys mind, that when we come back, could you do a song for us? >> absolutely. we would love to. >> jimmy: i love it. when we come back, a musical number from cheech and chong, everybody. so funny, man. i love it. ♪ tdd# 1-800-345-2550 yeah, i know what you mean...

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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. how fun was that? gosh, i'm so psyched. get ready for one of my favorites. backed by the roots, here's cheech and chong performing "mexican americans." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> this is a song of my people. ♪ ♪ mexican americans don't like to just get into gang fights ♪ ♪ they like flowers and music and white girls named debbie too ♪ ♪ mexican americans love education so they go to night school and they take spanish and get a b ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ mexican americans don't like to get up early in the morning♪ ♪ but they have to so they do it real slow ♪ [ light laughter ] ♪ mexican americans love their nana's and their nono's

and their nino's ♪ ♪ and their nino's nanu nano nina nono ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ but don't call 'em beaners they're all over the place don't call 'em beaners they'll probably kick you ♪ ♪ in the face don't call 'em beaners you know they drive really slow ♪ ♪ you don't know don't call 'em beaners they hate to be called beaners ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ >> you can dress them up, but you can't take them out. [ laughter ] where was i? oh, yeah, my people. ♪ ♪ mexican americans are named are named chata and chella and chemma ♪ ♪ and little chemma and have a son-in-law named jeff ♪ ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ mexican americans don't like to go to the movies where the dude ♪ ♪ has to wear contact lenses to make his blue eyes brown 'cause they make my brown eyes blue ♪ ♪ [ light laughter ]

♪ mexican americans live in los angeles, san diego san antonio ♪ ♪ san francisco and now all over new york city, vatto's ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and [ bleep ] it's cold out there mexican americans have been here forever ♪ ♪ and we're gonna be here forever and we only want what's fair mexican americans ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! thank you, my friend. thank you much. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for doing that. >> thanks, man, ♪ mexican american >> jimmy: check it out. www.cheechandchongtour.com, for tickets. go see these guys live. cheech marin and tommy chong, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] neko case performs next. come on back! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] (chef) all we need to do now is put our platter in the oven,

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tomorrow. from "ghost whisperer," the very funny jamie kennedy will be joining us. he's great. and we have music from the avett brothers. so, hope to see you back here tomorrow night. but right now, our next guest is a revered singer/songwriter, whose latest album "middle cyclone" debuted at a career best, number three on the billboard chart. amazing voice, amazing band. she's here tonight to perform the song "red tide." please welcome neko case, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ there's a smell here that stands my hairs on end dog hair in the heater ♪ ♪ gas pumps and cedar and jack knives on the nine and sea birds choked in fishing line ♪ ♪ ahh ahh

ahh ♪ ♪ ♪ the clouds say hush but the chainsaws mush on through custer ♪ ♪ and columbia the salty tentacles shrink in the sun but the red tide is over the mollusks they have won ♪ ♪ ♪ ahh ahh ahh ♪ ♪ ♪ there's a smell here of gravel and cigarettes lit when the match made ♪ ♪ them sweet when the engine turned over and beat up our street oh that was a