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946
May 15, 2014
05/14
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doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. is >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. nation, i am feeling fine tonight and it's all because of the defeat of a ballot initiative last week. columbus, ohio's issue 6 can can which would have raised property taxes to support the schum bus sue famous for jack hannah, america's foremost host to convince hosts to let animals pee-pee on them. >> more than 70% of franklin county voters said no to that zoo levee. >> stephen: in your face, manatee! oh, whichever end of you this is. we owe this victory to the koch brothers who helped sway franklin county voters with this flier calling the zoo tax a money grab. look at that greedy chimp asking for a handout or a foot-out. you can't tell with these guys. all you know for sure is the other three limbs are masturbating. as the koch's mayoral warned, this was going
doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. is >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. nation, i am feeling fine tonight and it's all because of the defeat of a ballot initiative last week. columbus, ohio's issue 6 can can which would have raised property taxes to support...
724
724
May 15, 2014
05/14
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doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. [ jim ] mmmmm. so, hot. whoo! mmmmm. that is hot! [ male announcer ] made with real cheese and premium cuts of meat. [ ding! ] ♪ hot pockets! what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! he has a phaser! it's not a phaser! it's my phone! he can use his voice to control the tv. you can use your woice? my voice. your woice. my voice. "vuh," voice. his voice. your woice? look. watch sci-fi. [ female announcer ] the x1 entertainment operating system, only from xfinity. roars ]male announcer ] the x1 entertainment operating system, sz welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight is an award-winning actress who plays a russian spy on the americans. which if you th
doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. [ jim ] mmmmm. so, hot. whoo! mmmmm. that is hot! [ male announcer ] made with real cheese and premium cuts of meat. [ ding! ] ♪ hot pockets! what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet...
683
683
May 21, 2014
05/14
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COM
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eye 683
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doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! he has a phaser! it's not a phaser! it's my phone! he can use his voice to control the tv. you can use your woice? my voice. your woice. my voice. "vuh," voice. his voice. your woice? look. watch sci-fi. [ female announcer ] the x1 entertainment operating system, only from xfinity. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back! my guest tonight, about to be angry man. welcome matthew weiner! (cheers and applause) hey! nice to see you! >> nice to be here. >.>> stephen: i'm excited you're here. i'm a little sad on what we're talking about because we're thinking about the end of "madmen" here. the first half of the seventh and final season ends may 25
doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! he has a phaser! it's not a phaser! it's my phone! he can use his voice to...
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that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. perfectly bite-sized drops of rich and creamy chocolate happiness. when the chocolate is hershey's, life is delicious. bread. but we know you've been thinking about it, too. so we're always trying to make it even better. that's why we added some ingredients and took others out, making this our best bread yet. bread is on the rise at subway. what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together reliably fast internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! we must have encountered a temporal vortex. further analytics are necessary. beam us up. ♪ that's my phone. hey. [ female announcer ] the x1 entertainment operating system. only from xfinity. tv and internet together like never before. welcome back, everybody. thanks so much. now nation, i have been trying my best to ignore the ukr
that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. perfectly bite-sized drops of rich and creamy chocolate happiness. when the chocolate is hershey's, life is delicious. bread. but we know you've been thinking about it, too. so we're always trying to make it even better. that's why we added some ingredients and took others out, making this...
738
738
May 10, 2014
05/14
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COM
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that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. if you watch the show and i hope you do you will know it is no secret that i am an enormous fan of fox business t is the first place i turn for financial news when it is left on at my dentist. and there is no one i love more on the fbizzle than stu varney. so it hurts to see stu and fox business tanking in the ratings, averaging just 54,000 daytime viewers, to put that in perspective, if you laid 54,000 people end-to-end they would still rather do that then watch fox news. stu is keeping a stiff upper face. he knows that there is a better measure than ratings to find out if people watch your show. >> okay. so i'm walking the streets of new york yesterday, actually i was trying to figure out how the bus system worked. but that's not a story, actually. i'm walking along and a young man coming towards me looks at me very closely
that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. if you watch the show and i hope you do you will know it is no secret that i am an enormous fan of fox business t is the first place i turn for financial news when it is left on at my dentist. and there is no one i love more on the fbizzle than stu...
361
361
May 16, 2014
05/14
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COM
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doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: well that's it for the report, everybody. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org narrator: gather close that you might hearken the story of fat neil. born stout of heart but large of bone, his adolescent years were shadowed by scorn and mockery. ♪ hey, fatty, fatty hey, fatty, fatty ♪ outlets of fantasy afforded him some escape from the darkness throughout high school. and as a man, he traveled far, to a new school and a new beginning. or so he thought. man 1: they're down there by fat neil. woman: it's fat neil. man 2: it's fat neil. the name became a joke. i'll have what fat neil's having.
doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: well that's it for the report, everybody. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org narrator: gather close that you might hearken the...
683
683
May 19, 2014
05/14
by
COM
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doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. >> welcome back, everybody, thank you so much. nation, nation, i love the u.s. of amount of and there are so many things that make america great. we invented flights, we sequence dna. we put cheese in inside a pizza crust. by manipulating the pizza's dna. and all those other nations right there have one thing in common. they are patented. patents are a-- after thomas edison patented his light bulb he was rolling in cash which he spent perfecting his greatest invention, thomas's english muffin which of course started as a failed attempt at a phonograph record. the best part is you don't need to invent the light bulb to receive a patent. because the cash generating rights have been granted to such actual inventions as the next fannie pack, three legged panty hose and the gerbil shirt. which innovatively c
doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. >> welcome back, everybody, thank you so much. nation, nation, i love the u.s. of amount of and there are so many things that make america great. we invented flights, we sequence dna. we put cheese in inside a pizza crust. by...
515
515
May 22, 2014
05/14
by
COM
tv
eye 515
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doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. ♪ oh-oh, oh, oh, la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪ ♪ na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na some things just go together, like auto and home insurance. bundle them together at progressive, and you save big on both. ♪ oh, oh-oh, oh, oh hey, it's me! [ whistles ] and there's my dog! [gasps] there's my steps! i should stop talking. perfectly paired savings. now, that's progressive. [ whirring ] [ wind howling ] a new mint flavor that intensifies as you chew. new 5 ascent gum. stimulate your senses. new 5 ascent gum. the car with an estimated 45 miles per gallon highway. the car with almost 900 miles between fill-ups. the car road & track called america's most fuel efficient new car, isn't a prius. surprised? state of the art clean diesel technology. a fuel-efficient eco start/stop system. engineered to virtually sip fue
doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. ♪ oh-oh, oh, oh, la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪ ♪ na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na some things just go together, like auto and home insurance. bundle them together at progressive, and you save big on both. ♪ oh, oh-oh, oh, oh hey, it's...
86
86
May 12, 2014
05/14
by
COM
tv
eye 86
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doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. can i pet your cloud please? sure! [ rumbling ] woah! aah! he doesn't like to be touched there. mmm! [ male announcer ] pet the rainbow! taste the rainbow. beer. dog. music. yikes. skip track, please. i'm hungry. impossible? maybe, but honeywell's latest innovation gives me hope. hello, thermostat? "hello. please say a command." i'm feeling hot. "changing set point to 68 degrees" the wi-fi thermostat that listens, learns, saves. from honeywell. welcome back, everybody. thanks so much. now nation, i have been trying my best to ignore the ukraine. (laughter) and i mean from the very beginning. i refuse to even acknowledge hetman bodean khmel nytskies uprising against poland. unfortunately events in ukraine keep annexing the news. armed pro russian militias have seized government buildings in several ukrai
doesn't really look like burger. man 2: grilled beef patty? that's burger-esque. man 1: yeah, but the flour tortilla is, like, quesadilla-y. man 2: it's both, okay? you happy? man 1: dude, it's four bucks. i am definitely happy. [ding] waitress: welcome to denny's. can i pet your cloud please? sure! [ rumbling ] woah! aah! he doesn't like to be touched there. mmm! [ male announcer ] pet the rainbow! taste the rainbow. beer. dog. music. yikes. skip track, please. i'm hungry. impossible? maybe,...
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279
May 20, 2014
05/14
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eye 279
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pro tip, pump a little of cabela food grade food lubricant before a meal and you can turn any burger into a slider. even if you done own a jerky blaster, soon you will be blasting jerky. we'll be right back. ) @g',xú@@e) ♪ what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! he has a phaser! it's not a phaser! it's my phone! he can use his voice to control the tv. you can use your woice? my voice. your woice. my voice. "vuh," voice. his voice. your woice? look. watch sci-fi. [ female announcer ] the x1 entertainment operating system, only from xfinity. >> welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight is wrote a memoir called a fighting chance. please welcome senator elizabeth warren. (applause) senator warren, thanks so much for coming back. all right. well, first of all, let me say it's a pleasure to you have back. it's been a few years. >> good to be here. >> and i want to remind you the last time you were here i did not call, senator, because
pro tip, pump a little of cabela food grade food lubricant before a meal and you can turn any burger into a slider. even if you done own a jerky blaster, soon you will be blasting jerky. we'll be right back. ) @g',xú@@e) ♪ what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! he has a phaser! it's not a phaser! it's my phone! he can use his voice to...
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221
May 27, 2014
05/14
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COM
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eye 221
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now try new lunch burger combos. like our longhorn cheeseburger with soup or salad, starting at $7.99. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back! my guest tonight, about to be angry man. welcome matthew weiner! (cheers and applause) hey! nice to see you! >> nice to be here. >.>> stephen: i'm excited you're here. i'm a little sad on what we're talking about because we're thinking about the end of "madmen" here. the first half of the seventh and final season ends may 25, and the second half of the final season is next year. >> yes. >> stephen: what's occasionally known in tv as "next season." >> yes. >> stephen: okay, so was it your idea or the network's to split the season in half and -- milk it? (laughter) does don work on a dairy farm? why break it in half? >> they did this with "breaking bad." they split the last two seasons for an organic reason which is because they couldn't make the schedule, so had eight one year and then the next year and the show built in a huge way. >> stephen: it's been on for sen seas
now try new lunch burger combos. like our longhorn cheeseburger with soup or salad, starting at $7.99. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back! my guest tonight, about to be angry man. welcome matthew weiner! (cheers and applause) hey! nice to see you! >> nice to be here. >.>> stephen: i'm excited you're here. i'm a little sad on what we're talking about because we're thinking about the end of "madmen" here. the first half of the seventh and final season...
141
141
May 20, 2014
05/14
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COM
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pro tip, pump a little of cabela food grade food lubricant before a meal and you can turn any burger into a slider. even if you done own a jerky blaster, soon you will be blasting jerky. we'll be right back. oh! the name your price tool! you tell them how much you want to pay, and they help you find a policy that fits your budget. i told you to wear something comfortable! this is a polyester blend! whoa! uh...little help? i got you! unh! it's so beautiful! man: should we call security? no, this is just getting good. the name your price tool, still only from progressive. rich, chewy caramel rolled up in smooth milk chocolate. all aboard. rolo. get your smooth on. >> welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight is wrote a memoir called a fighting chance. please welcome senator elizabeth warren. (applause) senator warren, thanks so much for coming back. all right. well, first of all, let me say it's a pleasure to you have back. it's been a few years. >> good to be here. >> and i want to remind you the last time you were here i did not call, senator, because you were not a senator. >> that'
pro tip, pump a little of cabela food grade food lubricant before a meal and you can turn any burger into a slider. even if you done own a jerky blaster, soon you will be blasting jerky. we'll be right back. oh! the name your price tool! you tell them how much you want to pay, and they help you find a policy that fits your budget. i told you to wear something comfortable! this is a polyester blend! whoa! uh...little help? i got you! unh! it's so beautiful! man: should we call security? no, this...
394
394
May 20, 2014
05/14
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pro tip, pump a little of cabela food grade food lubricant before a meal and you can turn any burger into a slider. even if you done own a jerky blaster, soon you will be blasting jerky. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] the taste of summer is here, and applebee's new grilled vidalia onion sirloin with that fresh-from-the-farm, sweet vidalia onion taste takes you straight to your summer happy place. [ man ] whoo-hoo-hoo! ♪ [ male announcer ] hey, it looks like someone ordered right. tangy barbecue sauce and sweet vidalia onions. in season now. taste of summer entrees now start at just $9.99. another fresh reason to see you tomorrow. at applebee's. and see you late night for half-price apps. ♪ i got no beef with repetition ♪ ♪ i'm gonna see it through and through ♪ ♪ i got no beef with repetition ♪ ♪ i feel the same way as you do ♪ ♪ i feel the same way as you do ♪ ♪ i feel the same way as you do ♪ what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operati
pro tip, pump a little of cabela food grade food lubricant before a meal and you can turn any burger into a slider. even if you done own a jerky blaster, soon you will be blasting jerky. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] the taste of summer is here, and applebee's new grilled vidalia onion sirloin with that fresh-from-the-farm, sweet vidalia onion taste takes you straight to your summer happy place. [ man ] whoo-hoo-hoo! ♪ [ male announcer ] hey, it looks like someone ordered right....
611
611
May 21, 2014
05/14
by
COM
tv
eye 611
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pro tip, pump a little of cabela food grade food lubricant before a meal and you can turn any burger into a slider. even if you done own a jerky blaster, soon you will be blasting jerky. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] are your party foods a party fail? have o'hare party repair remove them. and install tostitos cantina chips and salsa. guaranteed to bring that south of the border je ne sais quoi to any occasion! tostitos. bring the party. [sound of rain.] let's get redd's strawberry ale. just what i was thinking. redd's strawberry ale. fresh like a strawberry; brewed like an ale. [sound of rain.] yo,move fast fruit flavor,fe, watermelon, blue razz green apple. your taste buds dancing. it's the jolly rancher, we make it happen. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher. 0 to 60?performance? or 60 to 0? how a car performs in a quarter-mile? or a quarter-century? is performance about the joy of driving? or the importance... of surviving? to us, performance is not about doing one thing well. it is about doing everything well. because in the end... everything matters. mercedes-benz. the
pro tip, pump a little of cabela food grade food lubricant before a meal and you can turn any burger into a slider. even if you done own a jerky blaster, soon you will be blasting jerky. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] are your party foods a party fail? have o'hare party repair remove them. and install tostitos cantina chips and salsa. guaranteed to bring that south of the border je ne sais quoi to any occasion! tostitos. bring the party. [sound of rain.] let's get redd's strawberry...